Would you mention this to nursery or am I overthinking it?

I think it's good to raise the issue more broadly as well, in the context of lack of diversity at the nursery and how they might address this with the DC.

I agree the gesture must have been quite shocking to witness and it seems unlikely a young DC would have not mimicked this from an adult. If it's not coming from the parents, it would worry me about the nursery staff. Hence part of why it's important to flag as a potential concern.

I am surprised how many people think YABU.

Longer term. is there any way to find a more inclusive nursery? I think this is a priority also for choosing a school.

Well my son is 3 I can’t imagine him doing anything like this. I’d assume child has copied from someone at home whether it be a parent or a sibling.

But as a mum I always apologise if my son says or does anything that he didn’t mean but, might of upset someone. The fact she said “children say things like that” and got her DD away in the pram without a “Dolly, we don’t do that. Oh OP, im so sorry and embarrassed I can’t believe she did that I’ll speak to her about it later”

I'd get there early and mention it. It is something you don't want "spreading". And often it's something copied from parents rather than an innocent gesture by a toddler.

And squinty eyed is exceptionally rude!

I think you've done the right thing OP. I mentioned to our nursery when a 3 year old was giving out about how you're not supposed to have two mums, and they took the opportunity to emphasise how families come in all shapes and sizes.

Leaving aside your rudeness,@Willyoujust, that's an interesting question. To help me answer it, could you define what you mean by racism?

Also, just to check, you are aware that we're discussing the actions of a 2.5-year-old here, aren't you?

Just becuase the child has 'seen few Asian kids' does not make it okay! You have absolutely no idea about the impact that such a gesture could have. This is exactly the time, to kindly and in a child appropriate way, teach them how to celebrate diversity.

Yes, mention it. The staff can keep an eye out for it and correct the behaviour. The mum may well have done so when she got home, it might just be that she didn't want to make a big deal if it in front of you and your DD. Explaining why a 3 year old shouldn't do that could end up being a long winded conversation that was best had at home.

I'd mention it. PP who talked about kind teachable moment has it spot on.

I think it would be fine to mention it to the nursery. It would be an opportunity to do a session or read some stories about racism and multiculturalism and differences.

I wouldn’t necessarily jump to the conclusion that the child has heard it at home. My dc have come out with some right corkers when they were small and sometimes you’re embarrassed on the spot but I’d always use it to talk to them once home.

Let’s stop normalising racism then. Chinky is an awful term and should never be used. There’s no need. Let’s have a society built on mutual respect and equality. You sound like you’re excusing some racism by saying it is not deliberate! People should educate themselves on anti-racism.

The mother did under react but you have no idea if this woman is racist. It sounds like she was embarrassed, which seems to be what the OP thinks (who was there).

@ QuinqueremeofNiveneh

You think making slanty eyes at an Asian person is not racist? You are everything that is wrong with this world!!!

2 years old and in the preschool room... right...

Yes it most likely is from background/you tube. Of course it's not intentional from the child, just learnt.

Personally, I've never one to mock or accept any behaviour that is, but many do. It really is often the case of a parent pulling up a squinty eye and none intended malicious jokes.

These parents aren't deliberately racist and won't see themselves as such.

When hearing 'chinkies' I cringe but it's a normal term used in many areas.

I do think most people absolutely respect and value the input into the country and going forward these behaviours continue to be apprehended.

It doesn't have to come off as a complaint, just mention the issue (you don't even have to name names) and politely ask the staff if this is something they could cover. I've worked in nurseries for many years, no way would we think you're being awkward. And frankly, even if they did, who cares?

@QuinqueremeofNiveneh you reminded me of my best friend at infant school, I was SO envious of her lovely long plaits!
We were different colours? I never noticed!

This is the silliest, most hyperbolic post I have read on Mumsnet for a long time.

Please could you just take a beat and a have a wee think.

It's a very young child observing the world around her. Picking up on patterns and differences.

My best friend growing up was Japanese. How I wished my eyelids could have been like hers! There's every chance that something like this is happening here.

It is not racist in the least, it's life! Come on...

No you’re not over-reacting. It is racist. I can’t believe the mum didn’t correct her and apologise. Even if she is two and a half - children need to learn from a young age that it’s not okay to comment on people’s looks like that. The nursery can address it in an age- appropriate way. There are plenty of anti-racist books suitable for toddlers. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

I think for what it's worth your being incredibly mature, I think the other mum under reacted (probably from feeling embarrassed). I would mention it breezily to staff, I wouldn't name the child unless asked directly. Unless there is clear reason to highlight that this particular child is being mean to your DD. Although that doesn't appear to be the case.

If your from an area where there is low diversity, it's a good learning opportunity for all including your DD.

Whilst not the same, my DS is very petite and has had a lot of comments from both adults and children. I didn't bring it up when he was younger as no one was saying it in a specially mean way. My DS is now 4 and in reception he has got quite upset about the constant comments and his appearance, I wish I had nipped it in the bud earlier.

Chronic under reaction from the Mother. Just shows how racists attitude fester and breed from a young age. Sad.

The nursery should deal with it first if they see it happen

the other mum under reacted and yes the child has seen that gesture

ummm not sure if you should say anything

id get the book as someone else suggested and donate it to the nursery especially if they don’t have books that repress you

It's not a workplace where people should know better. It's a nursery and the child involved is maybe 3.5 years old so it's not a case of discrimination as you stated its just an innocent child noticing differences which can easily and kindly be dealt with by parents and teachers without calling it discrimination.

I’m sorry OP, you sound lovely and some of the other PP’s are being quite dismissive of the mums behaviour. The little girl can’t be blamed but I am shocked at the mum’s reaction. Most people would have apologised and told their child that it’s rude to comment on other people’s appearances. Flag it with the nursery for sure and try to avoid this mum and her daughter in future.