Nursery owner power trip: Was I in the wrong?

I wouldn’t be impressed giving a kid food to play with

This. Your child just came back from being sick and you picked up something to put it back? I would be pissed off too at your attitude to waste.

Shut up grate it 😆🤣

You'd pop it back in the fruit bowl

I would have immediately replied along the lines of who do you think your talking to like that. It's my child as you can see he's having a breakdown so I'm trying to deal with that. Add it to my £1600 invoice and il transfer the cost of the apple.

People like her probably thrive of being like this. They need to be spoken to bluntly and put in their place. I wouldn't complain about her now I'd just come back with something similar again if she did anything like that. She would soon learn to adjust her attitude

So youve never picked up an apple and thought it looked bruised or noticed it was a braburn not a gala

I think it’s this.

Its not about the apple, it’s about you leaving the apple with your child and expecting the staff to take it off him.

So you haven't ever picked an apple up, turned it over to see if it's bruised etc and put it back? Ok, sure.

Do they? I don't handle an apple I'm not going to buy

This

A bitten piece will be a bitten piece whether bit from a whole apple or a slice, but a slice is also more likely to cause choking than a whole apple. Sometimes guidelines have no common sense (but know they have to follow them, not arguing against that, just glad I get to use my own judgement in my work place)

She was rude, without doubt.. but I'd let it slide. Storm in a teacup. If you have other concerns then maybe you need to move but this in isolation isn't that big a deal.

I'm not justifying her tone but there is such a focus on safety and it's easy panic as a nursery owner who thinks they see something potentially dangerous. I work in a preschool where children bring their own food and often toys etc and it can be infuriating sometimes. You would not believe how often parents walk out and leave the little bolted gate around the walkway open. Like it doesn't occur to them that it's to stop a little child running out into a car park, but we all know if a child escaped they would be shocked and outraged, asking how did we let this happen. I've often dashed out at speed past kids to yank it closed. Children have arrived in with items on our banned food list, it happens all the time and we have to take the food off the child and that's unfair on the kid. Uncut grapes, popcorn, even peanut butter. We've had children bring in small toys with a choking hazard warning including packets of beads, items with sharp edges etc. It can be a minefield trying to keep children safe from parents negligent behaviour sometimes.

She's a PITA but unless you start getting frequent issues with her and assuming you're happy with the staff who have direct care of your DC I'd let it go this time.

Why are there apples for adults anyway ? That's seems really weird to me.

It was only an apple but it wasn't yours to take. Your child isn't so special that you're above something they've put out for another purpose.

You've had a lot of similar advice to your friends OP.

What's interesting is your first reply being a dripfeed about cherry tomatoes.
You haven't taken accountability for your part at all.

Guidelines say it must be cut....you can choke on a bitten piece....the child must be sat down and staff member should sit facing them and watching them eat. Nursery have no say in guidelines

I think she shouldn't have treated the parent like a child.

She sounds petty
Maybe she was a bit stressed too
But in some roles you kinda have to be overly nice
Childcare is at the top of the list
So yeah, I would observe her for a few days, she may realise she was petty and start being nice or she might act the same, which will he your cue to look for another setting.

Our local Tesco has the free fruit for children.

It’s not about safety, it’s about nursery being totally different from a home or childminder environment. What were the nursery staff supposed to do if a) your child refused to let go of the apple after you’d gone or b) all the other kids wanted an apple? They all eat lunch and snacks at the same time, so one kid having something they don’t would quickly cause upset and confusion for the other children there. I also get that it ‘just an apple’ but I imagine working in a nursery leaves little time for snacks etc and their stuff is their stuff. If another parent had taken your sandwich or drink out of your handbag to ‘distract’ their kid, you would have felt a bit uncomfortable surely?! I also imagine it feels a bit horrible eating your snack at break time if you’re not sure which passing kids have touched and grabbed at it (then presumably put it back - was that your plan?). I don’t think their response was great, and understand you’re upset, (and if you’re unhappy with any other aspects of care that’s different) but with this I think you need to see it from their point of view.

They have fruit for parents? Is it like when Tesco used to offer free fruit to kids before lockdown?(They should bring that back for sure)
I think the woman was out of order

Let it go, there's no point making a complaint. That wouldn't change this woman's personality or attitude or work style. If you trust yhe nursery and your child is happy there, then swallow your annoyance and carry on. There's lots of annoying things at all nurseries which boil down to the fact they are operating on a hairline balance between economic survival and collapse and if you move your child to a different provider, there will 100% guaranteed be annoying things about the new one too. Nevertheless if you don't trust them, make a move anyway, just don't expect to be able to m9ve to somewhere where all the staff are perfect and there are no annoying policies.

Why haven’t you raised this with them?

I agree.