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AIBU?

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Are young women confused when liking someone?

31 replies

JamesHank · 03/03/2026 17:53

I’m a college student from Greece and I’ve been thinking about something lately.

Do you think that when a young woman is genuinely into a guy, she’ll naturally make it easier for him to approach and move things forward? Like, clear signals, openness, less mixed messages?

I also can’t help but notice that a lot of men who constantly say “women don’t know what they want” might actually be using that as a coping mechanism. Sometimes it feels easier to generalize than to admit that maybe the interest just wasn’t mutual.

Curious to hear different perspectives on this.

OP posts:
FreshInks · 03/03/2026 18:11

“women don’t know what they want” is the thin edge of rape culture.

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:10

There may be a plethora of reasons why there are mixed messages - past hurts, current personal circumstances, focus is on studies and work, etc. If a woman is into you and you're only dropping hints, be clear and make a move. As in, ask for date!

If she says no, what are you worried about? Your ego being bruised? She may like you too, but may not be able to be as direct as you'd like if you're not making your intentions clear enough either.

zzpleb · 03/03/2026 18:10

Do you think that when a young woman is genuinely into a guy, she’ll naturally make it easier for him to approach and move things forward? Like, clear signals, openness, less mixed messages?

Given that some men misinterpret a woman interacting pleasantly with them as a sign that she fancies him, I would say the only truly accurate signal a woman could give would be to hold up a sign saying "I fancy you". As women don't do that, I think no, there generally isn't a clear change in behaviour that signals she wants to be approached.

randomchap · 03/03/2026 18:07

Offer to buy him a rum and Coca-Cola.

Raquelos · 03/03/2026 18:05

No. Young women aren't usually confused about who they like and are very capable of obviously welcoming advances from men they are interested in.

If the signals seem mixed to men, it is often because women aren't interested but have been conditioned to be kind about it. It is a real minefield for women generally when a man doesn't pick up on the kind version of "no thanks," and it can become excruciatingly awkward and intimidating when they keep trying to connect in a way that isn't welcome. There are far too many "coaching" content providers telling men that a "no" can be negotiated into a "yes". This is terrible advice, both for the man who comes across as a nightmare who doesn't respect her boundaries and the woman who has to deal with him.

GarlicFound · 03/03/2026 17:56

Men often blame women for their failures.

The guys complaining the loudest are the ones women should steer clear of!