Are young women confused when liking someone?

JamesHank · 2026-03-03T17:53:45+00:00

I’m a college student from Greece and I’ve been thinking about something lately. Do you think that when a young woman is genuinely into a guy, she’ll naturally make it easier for him to approach and move things forward? Like, clear signals, openness, less mixed messages? I also can’t help but notice that a lot of men who constantly say “women don’t know what they want” might actually be using that as a coping mechanism. Sometimes it feels easier to generalize than to admit that maybe the interest just wasn’t mutual. Curious to hear different perspectives on this.

Neondont · 04/03/2026 00:36

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 03/03/2026 20:11

Why on earth would you flirt outrageously with someone you're not interested in? That's perverse.

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Further, are you trying to slut shame me? Nice try! 😂

Neondont · 04/03/2026 00:34

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 03/03/2026 20:11

Why on earth would you flirt outrageously with someone you're not interested in? That's perverse.

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What do you think 'flirt outrageously' means? Please explain further why you think it's perverse. Also, that's your opinion. Not fact

Firefly1987 · 04/03/2026 00:24

I've always thought that since men have to go to all the trouble of doing the asking (usually) that the least us women can do is make it obvious we like them. Then they're not so likely to have to put themselves out there just to be rejected. Trouble is, men are not known to be really good at picking up subtle hints.

I also can't flirt at all, so I'm a total hypocrite. I admire any woman who is confident and secure enough to do it because that's when it becomes very obvious (even to men) as it's so overt. I'd just make an embarrassment of myself if I even tried.

Lastly, I don't know if it's true for other women but it can take me weeks or months to develop feelings for someone so it's not so much I don't know what I want as that it just takes a lot longer to form that attraction than it probably does for men. I never really agreed with the "friend-zoning" thing as I think there could be potential there sometimes. Except when the guy is being a "nice guy" because we see through that.

GoldenCupsatHarvestTime · 03/03/2026 23:07

Women are all different humans and not a homogenous mass so some women may be confused and others not. To treat us like we are all the same and our behaviour can be learnt and therefore manipulated is an error in judgement.

CaragianettE · 03/03/2026 22:33

5128gap · 03/03/2026 18:53

When men say women give mixed messages they are usually referring to women being polite, friendly even, but not wanting to date them. When they say women don't know what they want, they usually mean women who tell them they don't want to date them, but are still prepared to be friendly and polite.

This nails it.

’Mixed messages’ = she’s not into you, move on.

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 03/03/2026 20:11

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:20

I only flirt outrageously with men I'm not interested in. Men that I am interested in, I actually become quite bashful if I think they might be interested too. I'm polite to everyone.
Maybe that's just me and that isn't the norm.

Why on earth would you flirt outrageously with someone you're not interested in? That's perverse.

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 20:03

Neondont · 03/03/2026 19:44

Asking once for a date and moving on if it's a no is not the behaviour of a creep. A creep is someone who persists when told no.

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I'm sure that's the case with many women. Just like most men wouldn't call a woman a bunny-boiler for approaching them. But there's enough of both who would react badly to make people cautious.

Neondont · 03/03/2026 19:48

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 19:41

A lot of men don't because they don't want to be labelled a creep

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And I have known men to use the bunny boiler line even if he does welcome being moved in on first (and love bombs the woman!)

Neondont · 03/03/2026 19:44

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 19:41

A lot of men don't because they don't want to be labelled a creep

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Asking once for a date and moving on if it's a no is not the behaviour of a creep. A creep is someone who persists when told no.

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 19:41

Neondont · 03/03/2026 19:40

A lot of women don't want to be labelled a bunny boiler.

Edited

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A lot of men don't because they don't want to be labelled a creep

Neondont · 03/03/2026 19:40

JamesHank · 03/03/2026 18:56

Most women don't make the first move unfortunately

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A lot of women don't want to be labelled a bunny boiler.

Original poster

JamesHank · 03/03/2026 18:56

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 18:52

I don't think it's that "women don't know what they want", I think that many women are incredibly optimistic about how clear the signals they're making actually are.

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Most women don't make the first move unfortunately

OP posts:

5128gap · 03/03/2026 18:53

When men say women give mixed messages they are usually referring to women being polite, friendly even, but not wanting to date them. When they say women don't know what they want, they usually mean women who tell them they don't want to date them, but are still prepared to be friendly and polite.

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 18:52

Stompythedinosaur · 03/03/2026 18:23

This is spot on!

I think most women know what they want and signal it perfectly clearly. I think the "women are mysterious creatures" trope is just a misogynistic way of explaining that men don't listen.

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I don't think it's that "women don't know what they want", I think that many women are incredibly optimistic about how clear the signals they're making actually are.

Pistachiocake · 03/03/2026 18:50

Everyone is different! Men and women. We all want different sorts of partners. Some of us are NT, some ND. There's no one answer to your question-it depends on the individual.
And not just young ones either.

HowardTJMoon · 03/03/2026 18:49

What one person may think are clear signals, openness etc may not be anything like as clear to the person on the receiving end.

Plus men are - quite rightly - regularly reminded that just because a woman is being nice to you in no way implies that she's interested in a relationship.

Here's an idea - if you're a woman who's interested in a man, why are you dropping signals in the hope he'll make the first move rather than you making the first move yourself?

NovemberMorn · 03/03/2026 18:35

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:20

I only flirt outrageously with men I'm not interested in. Men that I am interested in, I actually become quite bashful if I think they might be interested too. I'm polite to everyone.
Maybe that's just me and that isn't the norm.

Same here regarding men I was interested in...I think I was quite standoffish, and never encouraged them one iota.

I was surprised that any of the men I fancied stuck around, but thankfully they did.

Stompythedinosaur · 03/03/2026 18:23

FreshInks · 03/03/2026 18:11

“women don’t know what they want” is the thin edge of rape culture.

This is spot on!

I think most women know what they want and signal it perfectly clearly. I think the "women are mysterious creatures" trope is just a misogynistic way of explaining that men don't listen.

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:21

ChalkOrCheese · 03/03/2026 18:15

Answer it the other way please:

"Do you think that when a young woman man is genuinely into a guy woman, she’ll naturally make it easier for him her to approach and move things forward? Like, clear signals, openness, less mixed messages?"

There's your answer.

Well put.

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:20

I only flirt outrageously with men I'm not interested in. Men that I am interested in, I actually become quite bashful if I think they might be interested too. I'm polite to everyone.
Maybe that's just me and that isn't the norm.

SundayBells · 03/03/2026 18:16

randomchap · 03/03/2026 18:07

Offer to buy him a rum and Coca-Cola.

I'll see what I can do.

Neondont · 03/03/2026 18:15

FreshInks · 03/03/2026 18:11

“women don’t know what they want” is the thin edge of rape culture.

Yep, although I think many men don't know what they want either!

ChalkOrCheese · 03/03/2026 18:15

Answer it the other way please:

"Do you think that when a young woman man is genuinely into a guy woman, she’ll naturally make it easier for him her to approach and move things forward? Like, clear signals, openness, less mixed messages?"

There's your answer.

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 03/03/2026 18:13

Women know exactly what we want and what we don't want.
Some men confuse politeness with interest.

If you are not good at reading signals then ask a woman straight out.
If she walks away in a hurry you have your non-verbal answer otherwise she'll politely decline or say she already has a boyfriend.

MrsHaroldWilson · 03/03/2026 18:13

Exactly what @Raquelos said.