Would you find this weird?

Papermacheman · 2026-03-03T12:38:57+00:00

If you started a new job and someone on your team (but slightly more senior to you) was married to one of the managers in the dept. Is this actually allowed?

Thechaseison71 · 03/03/2026 15:53

Hmm I e of my daughters met her husband at work when they were at a similar level. Over time she became his direct boss. However she was promoted again and the issue was no longer.

Wasn't really a big deal though. Can't sack staff for marrying each other lol

goz · 03/03/2026 15:51

It’s not weird.

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/03/2026 15:50

It’s allowed in my company, and noted in the conflicts register. They can’t directly line manage each other and if one has a role which responds into the other’s direct authority schedule then any approval also has to be ratified by another colleague with the same level of authority. It’s a bit sad for some of them at the Christmas party as we’re all seated with our immediate teams so they always have to sit on separate tables, but I’m sure they get over it.

As long as they uphold professional working standards it’s not going to be a problem. You can’t prevent people having personal relationships - in some poorly managed organisations it can be just as much of an issue where some colleagues are particularly friendly with others and risk showing bias in their management or how they work together.

GoldenCupsatHarvestTime · 03/03/2026 15:39

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 12:46

God I’m not saying I take issue…I’m just asking? I’ve never had this before. It doesn’t affect me, I’m just asking!!

Do you mean is it illegal? No.
Is it allowed? Depends on your specific company policy.

MrsHaroldWilson · 03/03/2026 15:12

No, it's quite common where I work. Anyone in that position has to register a 'conflict of interest' and part of that process covers any avoidance action they need to take if there's overlap in their areas of responsibility.

Growlybear83 · 03/03/2026 15:07

Why would you think this was weird or possibly not allowed?

BillieWiper · 03/03/2026 15:00

Well it might be against company policy in certain places but clearly not there.

I worked in a place where lots of people either met long term partners or had casual relationships with colleagues.

People are grown adults and there's only so much sanctioning ones workplace can do regarding where their employees consensually place their tongue or genitals.

Original poster

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 14:59

B1anche · 03/03/2026 14:54

It's weird that you find it weird. My previous workplace had several married couples, some even in the same team.

Oh that’s great so you have seen this in a workplace before…I hadn’t…hence my asking. It’s almost like we all have different lives and experiences 🙄

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B1anche · 03/03/2026 14:54

It's weird that you find it weird. My previous workplace had several married couples, some even in the same team.

mindutopia · 03/03/2026 14:36

I wouldn’t find that weird at all. Lots of married couples work for the same company or same industry.

Riapia · 03/03/2026 14:35

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 14:18

No i don’t care, it’s not going to keep me up at night…I was curious

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It appears that being curious is a highly suspicious trait on MN.

BauhausOfEliott · 03/03/2026 14:35

If the senior person is their direct line manager, it's probably inappropriate.

Otherwise it's fine. I'm not sure what you'd expect the employer to do about it, really. Sack one of them? Make them get divorced? Presumably the employer is already aware that they're married and has put them into those roles regardless, so it must be OK with them.

simpledeer · 03/03/2026 14:25

Completely normal in my sector (legal) Everyone is related!!

Original poster

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 14:18

Mumstheword1983 · 03/03/2026 14:12

Yes. It's allowed. I've worked in many Education jobs where a member of staff is married to a member of Senior Leadership/Head Teacher. They will manage their role in some way but they wouldn't be their direct line manager as others have stated due to conflict of interest.

Thank you

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Original poster

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 14:18

BettyRizzoSlaps · 03/03/2026 13:59

You must care though, or you wouldn't have started a thread, you could have googled it. Do you feel like they are going to get preferential treatment?

No i don’t care, it’s not going to keep me up at night…I was curious

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Mumstheword1983 · 03/03/2026 14:12

Yes. It's allowed. I've worked in many Education jobs where a member of staff is married to a member of Senior Leadership/Head Teacher. They will manage their role in some way but they wouldn't be their direct line manager as others have stated due to conflict of interest.

BettyRizzoSlaps · 03/03/2026 13:59

You must care though, or you wouldn't have started a thread, you could have googled it. Do you feel like they are going to get preferential treatment?

Original poster

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 13:15

ColdAsAWitches · 03/03/2026 13:12

But you obviously think there's something wrong if you think it isn't allowed anywhere.

Anyway, you're wrong. As long as one isn't directly managing the other, then there's no problem. As I mentioned on another thread recently, there's at least 20 married couples in my company. It would be impossible to stop them all from interacting professionally by not allowing them to be in the same department.

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I never said I wasn’t grateful right…I was asking “is it?” God can a person not ask an innocent question on here anymore!!
no it doesn’t directly affect me, I actually don’t care, I was just asking what others think etc as I had never seen this before.

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ColdAsAWitches · 03/03/2026 13:12

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 12:46

God I’m not saying I take issue…I’m just asking? I’ve never had this before. It doesn’t affect me, I’m just asking!!

But you obviously think there's something wrong if you think it isn't allowed anywhere.

Anyway, you're wrong. As long as one isn't directly managing the other, then there's no problem. As I mentioned on another thread recently, there's at least 20 married couples in my company. It would be impossible to stop them all from interacting professionally by not allowing them to be in the same department.

Rockchick01 · 03/03/2026 13:02

I think it depends on how they manage things and I agree would be different if one line managed the other. My son and DIL work for the same company albeit in different departments but on the same floor. Prior to them getting married no one even suspected they were in a relationship. It’s not an issue nor is it weird.

Peacexbliss · 03/03/2026 12:59

I dont see where its any of your business, who people are married to.

ChirpyAmberLion · 03/03/2026 12:52

@Papermacheman This is quite typical in my experience, and yes, the couple should never be direct reports to each other.

It's also normal to be involved with each others workload.

A/L, appraisals etc., would be a no-no as it would be regarded as a 'conflict of interest' (for obvious reasons). That said, dependent on the size of the company it could well vary, but the bigger the company, the less likely it would be allowed.

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 03/03/2026 12:51

Papermacheman · 03/03/2026 12:46

God I’m not saying I take issue…I’m just asking? I’ve never had this before. It doesn’t affect me, I’m just asking!!

Yet it bothers you enough that you start a thread about it and call it weird.
I have encountered this a few times over my teaching career. It did not affect me so I ignored it. I suggest you do the same

Uptightmumma · 03/03/2026 12:51

It happens in lots of companies, as long as HR are aware then it’s completely fine.

Normally they would make sure that married couples are directly managing their spouse.

Nighttimenoise · 03/03/2026 12:47

Many years ago when I worked in a bank , this wasn't allowed , I guess it depends on individual companies policy.
Its not weird, is it affecting you?