Nursery teacher dating my sons dad

Exactly. Not happy about him doing this, but she is supposed to care about children, should have had training, and quite aside from dating a man who was presumably in a relationship with OP, she is surely being unprofessional not speaking to one of her pupil's parents? For those saying it's none of OP's business, sure if she didn't have a child, it's not her concern who he dates, but when she does and this is affecting her ability to talk to the "professional" caring for said child, it surely is.

Well that’s the point made earlier - perhaps Dad gave the authorisation. In which case the conversation reverts to being between mum and dad of DC.

I can see why this makes you uncomfortable.

Firstly, don’t kick off. They will soon get bored.

Secondly, ask for a new key worker.

This is why I’d be pissed off. I don’t know why you split up but she’s possibly been telling all her coworkers about the break up, and how it was all your fault and how you’re a nightmare etc. and that’s why there’s tension. Messy af.

There is a child involved. It’s everything to do with the mother of the child. Are you ok?

She is not policing their relationship. But they nursery worker needs to be professional at work. That’s not much to ask.

As his key worker she shouldn’t be avoiding your son’s other parent (you). That’s not on. For that reason, he needs a new key worker as others have said.

I don’t know about a safe guarding issue but this would piss me off tbh. It just makes it so complicated when it shouldn’t be. And it already is complicated if the nursery worker girlfriend is avoiding her new boyfriend’s ex. Idiots both of them.

I thought relationships between nursery/school staff and a parent was not allowed if the child was under their care

This.

Nothing to do with you. Move on and worry about your own private life from now on.

I've read a few threads like this over the years so it seems surprisingly common.

I don't think it's a safeguarding concern but I wouldn't be happy about it.

It would just feel too weird.

She can't unilaterally decide to move the child to another setting if dad has pr and is involved in the child's life, and dad may not agree to this given the circumstances.

I wouldn’t like this situation. I’d consider moving your child.

It sounds potentially confusing for the little one but if his dad won't implement clear boundary there isn't much you can do. He can authorise anyone to do pick up.

I would however, as others have said, expect a new key worker.

The child needs a new key worker.

I think its unprofessional at best.

I don't understand why the nursery doesn't think it's an issue.

I understand why you are uncomfortable with this but I am so sick of the misuse of 'safeguarding' to describe situations which are nothing of the sort. 'Safeguarding' is the protection of vulnerable people from abuse, neglect, or harm. Is the child at risk of any of these things?

I would be very uncomfortable with this, @Dream246, and I can understand why you want to move your son to a different setting.

The nursery is in a difficult position re telling you as it's not a safeguarding concern and their staff member has a right to privacy too, so I think they would have been overstepping to tell you before you found out.

Now that you are aware however it would be reasonable to ask for a change of keyworker, not as a safeguarding matter but on the grounds that you wish for a clearer separation between home and nursery life. This would be a reasonable basis for the request even if it was a blood relative in the same way that school teachers do not usually have their own child in class for example. This enables you to keep the request neutral and isn't attacking the staff member or the nursery.

Irrespective of safeguarding, I just think this is a weird setup to be honest. I'd move them.

I would just move your child to a different nursery or childminder

Surely OP wouldn’t know whether her ex has approved someone for pick up though?

If one parent has arranged for someone else to collect a DC they aren’t going to call the other parent to check, they don’t need permission from both.

Yes I’d be uncomfortable. If your son is with her all day at nursery, and at “home” he’s going to get confused!
he needs a new key worker or move him adap; I’m astonished the nursery don’t think it’s a problem.

@Dream246 is it that the nursery worker took your soon off site?

Did DC’s dad give permission for this? If he did, I am not sure there is a safeguarding issue there.

I agree though it’s highly unprofessional and it would irritate me.

New key worker allocation request to the Manager I think.

Can you tell us more about the "taken off site" situation? Who took him off site and why?

Sorry OP, this is so shit, both for you and your child. Absolutely confusing for your son and just another example of adults putting their own wants well ahead of what is best for the children in their lives. However, if the nursery has no policy against it, it is very difficult. I think you should ask for your son to be assigned a new key worker though and they should be able to do this.

What is it with bloody men not bothering to stop and think about the impact of their crappy decisions on those around them? I'm sorry your ex has turned out to be such a selfish prick.