Nursery teacher dating my sons dad

Unluckily for you and many more I not only manage people but I own the business as well 🤑

I mean, on one hand if he has a nice relationship with her she can look out for him.

OTOH it probably does feel a bit ‘incestuous’ If they split up that could be hard on him.

My friend was dating a man whose son she got close to and later when she found out that she was working at the same school he was in (after they split) she says it was awkward.

Which is why I’m guessing no one will allow you to manage people. Ever.

@Mosman2020 I think that's rather unlikely.* *

For as long as you have 🙄

@Mosman2020 Thanks for those wonderful words of legal wisdom. How long have you been a family court barrister?

Just a small point that isn’t what unconscious bias is - I mention it in case you are going to use that terminology with the nursery.

If she literally runs away, then you write to them and say I have recently expressed some concerns about the care of my son and his removal from the nursery site without my consent. Additionally to this I am unable to discuss concerns with his key worker as she refuses to engage with me and avoids me. To be clear, your staff’s personal relationships outside of the work place are not my concern, but your nurseries ability to care for my child while you have responsibility for them absolutely is. I am requesting a change of key worker to someone who is happy to discuss my child with me, and if there are any further breaches of policy re my child’s location or informing me I will be forced to make a formal complaint. Continued policy breaches in key safety areas such as whether a child is on site are a risk to my child’s safety and as a parent that’s the worst possible risk. Please advise re my new childcare key worker.

and if in a conversation just say compassionately my only focus here is the care of my child. However if you have a good relationship with key worker you might look out for her as I don’t see any positive outcomes for a 21 yo who is in a relationship with my ex.

Wow that sounds like an awkward situation to be in. The issue is that she's running away from you- you need to be able to communicate with his key teacher so they should give him another teacher who will talk to you. I don't think I would move him at 4 because he's almost finished there anyway so no point transitioning somewhere else close to school time.

In life generally you can do whatever the fuck you want there might be some consequences but you can make a decision to keep your child safe
If he wants to go to court that’ll take 3 to 6 months to get in front of a judge and a judge will go oh dear what a sad story.

Not with that guy, no.

if she wants to remain in the posts that she’s in
People like her are dangerous because they’re thinking with their fanny and that makes them easily manipulated into making bad decisions. She’s shown her hand now she’s shown herself to be incapable of making good choices. She can’t work around children. I’d fire her and I would tell everybody why she’d been fired.
It’s not safe

Is she not allowed a relationship at 21 then?

I'd ask for my child to have a different key worker because of this. You need to be able to talk to your child's key worker, and at the moment you can't.

The nursery not communicating would be my biggest concern.

@Mosman2020 See image.

@Mosman2020 I'm afraid you're incorrect. Perhaps Google it if you don't believe the legal professionals.

Nursery workers don’t start at 21 they start at 16
At 21, you know exactly what you’re doing.
I was in a managerial role at 19.
I realised they’re a bit slow on the uptake these days but they’re not that dim and she’s thinking with her vagina.

SHE CAN !!

I did! It didn’t even flag as the slightest issue, I just said this is DCs months notice, and signed forms at a different nursery. Nobody even asked his opinion.

If he did take her to court though, she could always mention moving them because a member of staff took her child off site without permission and her complaint was ignored. Pretty sure most judges would agree that’s a problem.

THIS. Also she will be the one assessing his development. If she can't be objective she can't reasonably be expected to do that.

I would expect the nursery to allocate a new keyworker.

I dont think its a safe guarding concern? And I wouldnt switch nurseries unless there was another reason to do so. But I would request a different key worker. . This person is now raising your child whilst you are at work and also if/when she is spending time with your ex.
I wouldnt be comfortable with that.

Those who think it’s fine - think harder.

The nursery’s first duty is to the child. Supposing there was to be a safeguarding issue - how can a nursery worker in a relationship with one of the parents and with a reasonable suspicion of bias towards one or against another parent be expected to take a dispassionate view when assessing or reporting concerns? Very unprofessional to allow this in the child’s key worker. .

Headteachers have quite a different relationship with children than a Nursery key worker. A key worker should have a secure attachment with the child.

This is difficult for OP, understandably. But it is also difficult for the key worker and child if the relationship doesn’t last. I would expect a new key worker, minimum. I honestly think the person should move room if it’s that kind of nursery.

Completely inappropriate and ill judged by nursery.