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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think “you are always welcome” is not the same as an invitation?

80 replies

Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2026 19:29

I have invited my best friend to my house many times.Sometimes she can make it, sometimes she cant. That’s fine of course. But when I invite her Im always specific e.g. “ Do you want to come over for a meal, you can stay “ etc and offer some dates.

But she never responds in kind . She just casually says ‘you are always welcome to come to me”. That leaves me feeling it’s up to me to say ‘ can I come on X date?’ Which makes me feel cheeky. Plus if she really wanted me to come she’d offer a specific invitation wouldn’t she?

We also have friends who are a couple who say this to us too. Am I right in thinking this is a half hearted invitation and if they really wanted to see me/us they wold be more specific?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2026 20:12

Yoosee · 02/03/2026 20:05

This might just be different styles of communication. Next time she says it, you could reply “lovely- when would suit you?”

I do see what you mean but that puts the onus back on me doesn’t it? To me, “ Why don’t you come and see me.. when are you free?”is inviting a conversation about dates etc .But “ You are always welcome “ is deliberately vague

OP posts:
MontgomeryClift · 02/03/2026 20:09

Some people plan well in advance, others like to do things more spur of the moment.

Yoosee · 02/03/2026 20:05

This might just be different styles of communication. Next time she says it, you could reply “lovely- when would suit you?”

Shinyandnew1 · 02/03/2026 20:05

Only you know your friends. Text and say when shall we get together next-give me some dates you can do. When she does, say-you always come to me, shall I come to you this time?

Yellowpingu · 02/03/2026 20:02

Only you know your friends and your relationship with them. Why not try it and ask if you can visit on X date? Some people I’d say ‘You’re welcome any time’ and genuinely mean it, others I’d rather invite. I do also have a CF friend who booked flights last year without checking dates with me beforehand!