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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think colleagues joke was NOT acceptable?

471 replies

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:10

My team has a meeting every Monday (virtual) and there’s always chat at the start about weekends etc. One of my colleagues said he’s worrying because his holiday plans for the year include already booked trips to Cyprus and Dubai. Another colleague then said ‘any chance you can book a trip to France next’ and he got a few laughs.

I have family in France, as does another colleague I’m aware of. Is it me or is this type of ‘joke’ really inappropriate given the current climate?

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 02/03/2026 18:51

ColdAsAWitches · 02/03/2026 18:42

That's a massive overreaction. It was just a joke. There's been about 1000 years of rivalry between England and France. For hundreds of years it was wars, now it's just jokes. He doesn't actually want France to be bombed. You're being ridiculous.

This.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 02/03/2026 18:51

To me its "any chance you can book France next, as that is close to home and safer?"

I have half my family living in France and wouldnt have found that offensive.

Are you always such a pessimist to just think the worst all the time?

Plus, if it was a bad joke (I dont think it was) dark humour is normal and how people deal with stress, trauma and disappointment.

nam3c4ang3 · 02/03/2026 18:49

Oh FFS unclench already - youre one of these that would go to HR because someone sneezed too loudly. Bet everyone loves you at work

2thumbs · 02/03/2026 18:48

Looks like the Fun Police have been on duty again

parkezvous · 02/03/2026 18:47

Just seen your update OP have you really sent an email to your manager?! Bet s/he loves you 🤣

Brewtiful · 02/03/2026 18:47

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:44

That’s for them to decide, they’ll need to acknowledge my grievance though and I expect seek guidance from HR on any next steps.

I flagged an equally inappropriate ‘joke’ by another colleague a couple of years ago and I know they were warned as to their future conduct.

I sort of hope one day you're a manager and have to deal with this level of nonsense.

Womaninhouse17 · 02/03/2026 18:46

Equalityumber · 02/03/2026 18:31

It might be worth jumping on a call with the colleague and explaining why his comments might be seen to be inappropriate.

It’s a great opportunity to educate and foster a kinder working environment.

I'm sure that would go well. 🙄

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 02/03/2026 18:46

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:44

That’s for them to decide, they’ll need to acknowledge my grievance though and I expect seek guidance from HR on any next steps.

I flagged an equally inappropriate ‘joke’ by another colleague a couple of years ago and I know they were warned as to their future conduct.

Oh god, you’re one of those.

parkezvous · 02/03/2026 18:46

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/03/2026 18:13

I think it depends how you interpret it. I’d hear that as ‘book somewhere nearer and safer next time and you’ll have a better chance of getting there!’. So I wouldn’t hear it as insensitive or inappropriate. It’s just banter about holidays being cancelled or not.

That’s also how I’d hear it.

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:44

Brewtiful · 02/03/2026 18:40

What a complete over reaction on your part. What on earth do you expect your poor manager to do?

Edited

That’s for them to decide, they’ll need to acknowledge my grievance though and I expect seek guidance from HR on any next steps.

I flagged an equally inappropriate ‘joke’ by another colleague a couple of years ago and I know they were warned as to their future conduct.

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 02/03/2026 18:44

Disgraceful. I hope he gets fired.

Pricelessadvice · 02/03/2026 18:43

Honestly, why get offended at everything.
Just roll your eyes and get on with your life.

Coldtoots · 02/03/2026 18:43

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:34

I’ll leave that to my manager to deal with when she returns tomorrow and has an email from me to pick up.

Oh I pity this manager… what shite she just have to deal with from the OP I dread to think.

ColdAsAWitches · 02/03/2026 18:42

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:34

I’ll leave that to my manager to deal with when she returns tomorrow and has an email from me to pick up.

That's a massive overreaction. It was just a joke. There's been about 1000 years of rivalry between England and France. For hundreds of years it was wars, now it's just jokes. He doesn't actually want France to be bombed. You're being ridiculous.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 02/03/2026 18:42

I’m a manager, if I walked into an email from you on this, it would be a D for delete.

auserna · 02/03/2026 18:42

I have family in France, as does another colleague I’m aware of. Is it me or is this type of ‘joke’ really inappropriate given the current climate?

So the comment would be fine if you didn't have family in France?

Jeschara · 02/03/2026 18:42

I could not be bothered to look for offence at this. People are lucky they have so little to worry about.

usedtobeaylis · 02/03/2026 18:41

I'd struggle to give much of a fuck, the 'current climate' doesn't affect France and I highly doubt he actually wants it to. I can easily imagine someone from here (Glasgow) saying similar like 'fancy booking Greenock/Airdrie/Cumbernauld/Govan next'

WhatAMarvelousTune · 02/03/2026 18:41

I’d be slightly more irritated by the person who seems more concerned that war is inconveniencing his holiday tbh.

Brewtiful · 02/03/2026 18:40

What a complete over reaction on your part. What on earth do you expect your poor manager to do?

Ohfuckrucksack · 02/03/2026 18:39

Disagree. I might not find it funny but that's humour for you - it's dependent on the the receiver.

You don't get to decide what is 'acceptable' for other people.

Owly11 · 02/03/2026 18:37

What do you mean by the current climate? There is a very very longstanding rivalry between the English and the French and the French would make similar jokes about the Brits. It's humour that you clearly don't understand and instead are choosing to be offended. 🙄

PollyBell · 02/03/2026 18:35

Ok it was said and? What do you want now about it?

LaurenkI · 02/03/2026 18:34

Equalityumber · 02/03/2026 18:31

It might be worth jumping on a call with the colleague and explaining why his comments might be seen to be inappropriate.

It’s a great opportunity to educate and foster a kinder working environment.

I’ll leave that to my manager to deal with when she returns tomorrow and has an email from me to pick up.

OP posts:
Johnogroats · 02/03/2026 18:34

I honestly don’t get the offense. It’s a variation on you’ve booked somewhere dangerous, go for somewhere safer next time. He said France (fab…. I go several times a year) but could equally have said the Cotswolds, or Bognor or Timbuktu (maybe not… not sure how safe it is there).

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