To not want to do this? Nursery

Is there a reason your dp is getting to bed so late after a nightshift? Is that because of the hours he works or personal choice? If possible, in the first instance, I'd be expecting him to get to bed earlier if he can and get up for the returning bus.

I'm surprised you think nightshift doesn't work around family needs, where I work it's a very common option for families with limited childcare, so they can sleep while dc are at school.

They have to fit two lots of funded 15 hours into a week. Most school nurseries are 8.30-11.30 and 12.30-3.30. The staff are entitled to a lunch break and need to set up for the afternoon so they get the same experience as the morning children, not walking into mess and mayhem. They can’t let them leave early because they are monitored on the hours they are providing for each child and cannot fraudulently claim it when they’re not there.

Ignore me, I didn't read your update!

Can't you just collect from nursery early? I've never heard of a nursery with a fixed finishing time.

If you’ve coped this amount of time, I wouldn’t do the nursery. It’s too much hassle for you.

Nursery’s attached to schools are not really there as a means of free childcare. They are there to benefit your child and get them ready for school

Glad it worked out for you OP.

That’s really tough for you @Thriftaholic. I’m hoping you can get an alternative sorted

I'm not sure how this is any different from having to collect from two different classes anyway (unless it's a very small school and all kids come out the same place). DD's school staggers nursery by 5 minutes, and gives 10 minutes grace for pick-up as they recognise parents can't be standing outside two classrooms at once (even when they were opposite ends of the school I never needed more than 5 minutes unless I had to talk to the teacher, and then I got the one where the teacher was more likely to need a word first).

Ok but if they’re the same building, staggering by 5/10 minutes makes sense but 25 is odd.

Like the kids all come pouring out of the classroom and you grab yours - takes like 1 minute usually, then factoring in a slight delay in the end of the school day/a forgotten coat or bag/walking to nursery pick up area is maximum 5-10 minutes surely?

For the obvious reasons of most kids at nursery will have a sibling in school. If they both finished at the same then you'd have some kids collected promptly at 3.30 every day while you'd have the same kids waiting around being left while their parents collected their siblings.
It's much less stressful for the kids in nursery if nursery finishes after school does. It's standard practice in school nurseries to do that. Same as they start their morning sessions later than school start time!

Nursery schools you can't really. They can claw back funding if you don't claim it all but they make you take the full week. I have the Same problem, I don't want my son in nursery Monday / tuesday as I'm home but it was full week or not, I thought 'oh no problem I'll just keep him off' but nope! Funding can be taken back and they can also cancel your place.

Collect your little one early (you’ll still have to pay) and speak to nursery to see if they do wrap around care. Ours is similar so they charge something like £6 to collect at same time as school.

Separately, if your dh is working nights, how come he isn't going to be until 11am ? Night shift workers are mostly home many hours before that.

I agree most school Nursery classes will have a structured session and can't have people collecting at different times throughout the session BUT it is a strange school that has a 25minute gap between school ending and Nursery ending. I would presume quite a lot of the Nursery parents have dc in the school and that is a long time to be hanging around in the cold and rain.

That does sound like a happy compromise @Thriftaholic.
Fingers crossed they will come up with a morning in the near future also.
And, as PP have said, can your DH do your DD drop off on those days if he drives?

Sorry cross posted!

I wouldn’t use it, I’d just start him in reception in September.

That's so bizarre, I imagine any other parents with siblings at the school must also find it really frustrating especially as school aged kids often have clubs and things to get to.

Personally, I'd look elsewhere. I do think some kind of playgroup/pre school/nursery is good for 3 and 4 year olds to get them into routine and group activities before school. However, I have an autistic son too, and I think the potential for this to impact his routine would be really high and could be a nightmare, especially with a tired dad having to cope at home, as im imagining if he has needs that require a special school it isn't just a case of opening the door to let him in, and at times there might be lots of parenting and support required If he is dysregulated or something has happened that upset him during his school day. That to me sounds like a recipe for disaster (equally, if dh is that keen on the pre school place then maybe he just has to suck all that up).

I'd probably try and find a childminder or other pre school type setting that will accept the 15 hrs and help the 4 yo transition to a more school like environment, plus presumably that helps you with work if he's not at home? I wouldn't personally try and juggle the suggested 3.45 finish, it's giving me anxiety thinking about the rush home and hoping all is OK with your disabled son plus all the bus journeys etc. You'll spend your whole time on child logistics.

Fair enough, wonder why it doesn’t finish when school does in that case and 25 minutes later because there must be lots in OP’s boat!

We didn't use school nursery for ds3 because the times were too rigid and didn't fit our day. He went to a private nursery instead.

Is there any advantage to your ds being in school nursery when it comes to a school place? Does being in the attached nursery make a primary place more likely? If so then I guess you have to muddle through. If not then don't send him if it's going to be too hard.

We had different finishing times in early primary. I found it annoying but the kids loved it. They played around in the playground. So it's not terrible. And you're hopefully past the worst of the weather for hanging around outdoors.

But I didn't have the complication of having to be home at a certain time.

I would either -

Just not send him because it's too complicated

Send him because it benefits his future school place and muddle along somehow

Send him because dh wants him to go and make dh get out of bed to see to older kids getting home

Not bizarre for a school nursery - ours doesn’t allow parents to drop off or pick up at random points. It’s structured so a kid disappearing twenty minutes early would consistently miss tidy up time and story, would unsettle all the other kids and also causes problems as an adult has to help them find their stuff and sign them out rather than doing what they’re meant to be doing. They expect them dropped off promptly at a set start time too. It’s not like a daycare nursery or after school club.

It's 30 funded hours now rather than 15, I would definitely use a childminder instead! Good luck

Nah that's terrible. If your DH is so keen on it, he can do those pick ups. But it's a weird time in the middle of the day, poor kid won't settle very well either.