What's your upper age limit for having last baby

Well of course midwives 'don't bat an eyelid' they're there to help with the baby, not to comment on your age!

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Personally I wouldn’t have a baby after 35 because of the increased health risks. But I’m 27 now and already have two children so there’s no need for me to keep having babies after that age. I might have felt differently if I was already 35 and had no children or only had one child but really wanted two. It’s a personal decision and I would never judge another mother for whatever choice she makes.

I’m 34 with zero kids and I want 2 so whenever nature decides.

DP and I are both only children and we don’t want an only child so if we struggle to have 1 in the next few years we’ll probably just call it a day though.

The rough consensus on the thread seems to be age of having first child + ~10 years & < maximum fertile age. Realistically a first pregnancy at 35 is going to be very different to a third pregnancy at 35. How tiring and awful it is will be down to how many kids you already have as well as age, so it doesn’t need to be a competition.

The only friend my age with a child had hers at 27 and she said never again!

I don't think it's useful to set an arbitrary cut-off age tbh, I think I would just see how I felt at the time and whether I felt capable and wanted more. I don't think it does anyone any favours and just either puts pressure on.

I am currently pregnant with number 2 at 37 and I am finding it tougher than the first time, but I think that is more to do with not rebuilding my strength and fitness in between pregnancies (as my first is only 3 so not a huge age difference for me), bump is bigger so I am constantly out of breath, struggling to bend over etc, plus just generally more knackered running round after a 3yo whereas last time I was working from home, swimming once a week, going to the gym...

I know this will be my last as my DH is older than me and already had 2 older children, and, as I said, this pregnancy has felt hard - however this is all based on our own personal circumstances and not on an arbitrary age limit I've set myself.

What happens to those of us who dont meet anyone (like me!). There isn't a wide circle of men id like to kiss let alone have a baby with. Those people who don't meet anyone have them later and don't see it as a chore . I never had a single comment from mid wives etc about being pregnant at 41/2 and didnt bat an eye. Most of my friends were in the same boat.

I had my 3rd at 36 and that was as old as I would want to have been, I will be 56 when my youngest finishes in education and 60 when they finish at uni (if they decide to go).

😘 There are some lasses in my village who had their first baby at 19 to 23, most have 2 or 3, and many of them are upper working class, several of them own their home with their DH, and many part time jobs now, and are happily married and loving their life.

They have travelled to between 5 and 10 different countries, and go abroad most years. By the time the kids are grown, they will still be young. There are advantages to having kids young (and advantages to leaving it a bit, to say, 33-34.) There's no right or wrong.

Also, it has to be said, some of the upper class women I know started having babies young - like 20-ish. It's the middle classes who have them older, not upper class people are actually ARE posh!

Honestly but I'd accidentally fallen pregnant nup til 45 I probably would have kept the baby but now at 46 I'm really done. I don't want to do nappies and car seats and maternity leave again. Although I loved pregnancy and the early newborn stage. The logistics of a toddler or another school aged child again are beyond me now.

And so it begins with the inevitable ping pong of back and forth barbed comme ts attacking each other

Why these threads daily? So depressing.

I think 44 would be the end of the road

Those comments always make me laugh. I’m 24 and had my first at 16 Of course they’ve “never” met or seen anyone who had kids so young in their classy areas or places they like to go. And yet I exist, five miles from one of the most expensive towns in the country which I visit regularly 😂

@Suburbiton63

37-38 years old would be the oldest I would be 'trying.' I would not want a baby in my 40s. Not even at 40. When I was almost 60 they'd still be at school. And they'd be at Uni when I was in my 60s. I'm nearly 60 now, and my DC left home 10 years ago, and quite honestly, as much as I love them, I wouldn't be too happy to have DC still at Uni now, and still effectively living at home.

I loved having/raising my DC, but love the quiet tranquil home now with just DH and I. They were independent quite quickly, and both own their home (with a partner) and both are around 30 y.o.

Yeah, same here. I know very few women who had a baby in their 40s, and I live in a middle class area, and close to an upper class area. I know many very well educated professionals, and the vast majority had their first baby by 31-32, and the last by 38-39.

Despite many posters on MN claiming 'everyone in their social circle' has at least 2 babies in their 40s, most people in real life do not.

Personally, trying to be done by 30. I want 4 or 5 though so it's going to be tight, I think!

If I'd started later, then I'd definitely have a later cut off though. Maybe 40, if I'd had my first baby in my early 30s.

I was 33 having my youngest and we didn’t want another but haven’t felt actually too old to have one until the last year or so, I’m 44

I was almost 38 with my first and 41 with my second. Great pregnancies (aside from a not age related challenge with recurrent miscarriage that requires treatment) where I was physically well and births were good too. I didn’t feel too old!

BUT - time, resources, and my own challenges with being a good parent (I had crap parents myself) would put me off ever having a third. Not age! I also value my career and financial independence quite highly so wouldn’t want to make further sacrifices to that.

I’ve just had my last at 26. If I could I would have had one more by 28 latest, but I started at 20/21.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain What rubbish.

I’m 39, and pregnant with my third - they’ll arrive before I’m 40, but our personal cut off was arrival before age 41 - we didn’t want to keep trying for a third indefinitely, and that would have been too big an age gap (for us) with our older two, and at some point you have to draw a line. We’re just lucky we didn’t have to.

I didn't want kids then fell pregnant at 33, totally changed me and had another (after a miscarriage) at 37. Felt amazing with both but knew I was pushing my luck to go for a third due to age. Very happy with what I have and fortunate that I was fit and well. I think early 40s is absolute top line for health reasons.

45 I think if they have older siblings - my last was 40 and it was my easiest pregnancy and birth. I did try for another and kept getting pregnant until 49 but, sadly, miscarriages with all of them.

I had my second and last one at 37. I would have loved to have had 4 dc but timing was not on my side. My personal cut off was 40 due to not wanting to have to support a dc through uni into my 60s.

I also have a DSIs with significant additional needs and I didn’t want to take any of the extra risks associated with conceiving in my 40s (and DH is slightly older than me).

I'd always have said 35 but I couldn't imagine myself personally having a baby after 32. I realise that's young and most women I know have babies up to mid 30s.

Same, I had a baby at 45 after having one at 40. Absolutely amazing pregnancies and births. I’m 54 now and my kids know we are probably the oldest parents of their friendship group but it is what it is. It’s me and dh second marriage so we met later.

Had my first at 30. She's only 20 months old. I want one more. My maximum age is 35 I think.