What's your upper age limit for having last baby

Sorry I know you probably are just asking generally but these threads really annoy me (and there's enough of them) and always loads of comments about what age is too old/ how tough it is when older etc. It's not a choice for everyone. Many many women have kids older not by choice but through circumstances (in my case health problems and ivf) and these repetitive threads beating down women who have kids when they are older are just depressing. Everyone is different and every body is different and it's not a one size fits all. You should know what will work for your body and your circumstances and it won't be the same as what works for others.

If I’d never had any, I think I would have just kept going until I had one.

After I had my first at 29 my cut off was 35 which looking back seems utterly ridiculous now. I do sort of wish I’d had a third baby around age 37/38, which now seems pretty young tbh!

My grandmother had my dad at 25, then she lived to 98. So he was caring for her in his seventies. Not sure that’s an ideal situation either!

I was 32 with my third and last. Pregnancy was much harder on the body than at 19/20

It would have been 40 for me but I had my first and only at 34 which was late enough for me. I can't imagine doing it again now at 41.

3 out of 4 of my DS’s GP had died before he was born. It really isn’t anything I’ve given much thought to. You just create a different life to match your circumstances.

We’ve found that we have linked up with many others in broadly similar situations as they are invariably the type of families that have fewer wider family commitments and therefore have time to spare. It has worked really well for us.

I think not only should you consider your age and whether it is what you and your husband want but also your current two children and how you are as a family unit.

A friend of mine had a third when her older children were 3 and 7 years old. The third child has a severe disability and it has turned the family unit totally in another direction and the older two have had to adapt to a younger sibling who needs constant care and always will. Yes they love their sibling but I am saddened when I think about how different their lives could have been. Now family holidays, going to the beach etc etc are all much more major events than they were before. Can your current children deal with something like that happening? Can you deal with it yourself?

I had DC at 33 and 39. I’m 40 now and say cut off would be 42. I would like a third. DH isn’t keen so if he doesn’t change his mind I’ll have to let it go. 42 is older than I’d have liked, but like PP we couldn’t afford to start TTC any earlier.

We met at 23, but aren’t from well off families, paid for our own house deposit and wedding, and didn’t really earn decent money until DS was about 3. Add my PND in to the mix after DS and I couldn’t have had more earlier.

My personal cut-off point was 35.
I had mine at 32 and 34.

They probably were thinking "fuck that" about me but I didnt know or care if they did.

All I know is I'm freeeeee, right here and now, in the present, and can enjoy myself now, whereas they're not free now but enjoyed themselves in the past.

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

45 I think. I had mine at 41 and 43 (and two older stepsons, one which lived with us full time so full house), my friend 46 and another at 45. All conceived naturally. I mean none of us wanted to have kids that late but circumstances; I didn’t meet my DH til I was 39, the 46 year old mum got married at 29 and just put it in mother natures’s hands and 46 was when it happened, the 45 year old was actually told that her age and PCOS meant getting pregnant was not going to happen so she relaxed her birth control and boom. So I guess preferably pre 40 but otherwise 45 as upper limit.
You don’t say if you had particular complications? Just pregnancy as it is? I didn’t enjoy it at all but wanted two. I also developed type 1 diabetes in my first pregnancy making it riskier. You weigh it up how it may affect your lifestyle and decide. And also prepare yourself that it may not happen at all.

@Ella31 my deepest sympathies on the death of your boys, Ella 💐

It'd be great if life was so easy to plan. Got pregnant on my honeymoon at 31, lost that baby 8 weeks later. Had another miscarriage a few months later at 32. Got pregnant with my beautiful twin boys the next cycle but they passed away at birth in the NICU 2 years ago. The grief is indescribable. 18 months later I brought home my lovely dd at 34 she is 10 months now and by complete surprise I'm expecting again. I hope to have one more after this but call it quits by 38. I've been pregnant 5 times since 2022

It's been a very difficult journey and we live with our grief for our twin boys every day, you never get over it, but I feel lucky that I did get to bring my dd home and all going well this baby too. It's such a complex decision for many people and I can completely understand how hard it is letting go.

I was 23 when i had my third. With hindsight i think 28 and 30 are the perfect ages. I would never have a child in my 40s as that would mean having children at home until you are in your 60s. Mixing children with menopause, getting older and parents needing help is a recipe for the Devils porridge.

My personal cut off was 35 I have to say I’m knackered now at 46 so can’t even imagine a baby in my 40s

I think people are quite bad at guessing ages at from late 20s +

I see lots of mums and babies around my trendy part of London and assume they’re older than me but probably aren’t! It might work the other way around, assume anyone with kids the same age is the same age as you.

It happens at work all the time, people guess your age based on job/ life stage.

But now you're work and mortgage free you should be enjoying yourselves and your free time. If you have work, a mortgage and children at the same time you get all the hard work out of the way at the same time. As it happens now you're being controlled by term times.

My personal limit was 37 and I had her 3 weeks ago! I was told by a midwife that women are no longer considered advanced maternal age until 40 now because of new research so dont let it stop you if you still really want one! I got really lucky and got pregnant again very quickly when I was still 36 but I would of carried on trying until it happened.

You need to think about the other end of parenting. It’s all very well being 37-42 you feel great and focus on how it’s fine to deal with multiple babies and young children.

Then you hit 48 plus and everything changes. You will likely feel very different and want to do your own thing. You do not want to be parenting an 8 year old. Then having to work longer to fund their university. Dont do it to yourself.

Like a PP mine was 35. But I am almost 35 and not yet pregnant with DC3. Realistically it is now more like 40.

I wonder if posters are just guessing the ages of people in these ‘naice’ circles? Looking around the nursery/playground and assuming they all had DC at 40+?

I also wonder if all these ‘I had my first pregnancy (twins) at 46’ posts we seen on MN are from the same posters.

Those of us on the extremes are probably more interested in the topic to start with.

Your lucky everything turned out the way you anticipated then I didnt meet my dh until I was 31 i had my babies at 33 and 36 so not too old but ideally I would have had them younger but its fst more difficult when yiyr single!

I think it depends on lots of factors: if you’re talking about a first/second/third etc. child; if not a first child your experience of pregnancy/ birth/ parenthood; how much support you have e.g. partner, family, friends; your financial/ work situation and many other factors. Ideally I would have preferred to have children before I was thirty-five but I didn’t meet my husband until I was nearly thirty-four and needed three rounds of IVF so I was thirty-nine and forty-one when I had my children. I would have loved to have another child (and my husband still wants us to to try with our remaining frozen embryos) but I feel the best case of a third caesarean at forty-three while the eldest is still under four and not having much support would be a bad idea for all of us. I’m also a SAHP through circumstances and need to think about getting back to work, pension etc. If I were younger or won the lottery I’d be more likely to try again but if I didn’t already have children I’d probably keep trying until there was no realistic chance. I do regret that I likely won’t have as long with my children as I would have if I’d had them younger and that my parents (and I if my children have children) are older grandparents but realistically the only thing I could have done to avoid that would have been to not have any children. None of my relationships when I was younger worked out and I think I would have struggled being a single parent by choice. I’m hopeful I can stay healthy for as long as possible and give the children my best whilst I’m around and that they will prefer to have have had older mother to never having been born.

We decided when I was 39 to try for a 3rd child having had my first and second at 22 and 24. I got pregnant the third month of trying and had a very good pregnancy but ended up having an emergency caesarean.

Although I was a young mother to my sons I didn’t become a grandmother until I was 65 as neither of my sons have children so I had to wait until my daughter grew up, married and had my grandson so even if you have children young it doesn’t follow that you will have grandchildren in your forties or fifties.

Was 35 when I had my youngest and I won’t have any more. In a fantasy life I’d love another but realistically I don’t want to start all over again now I’m pushing 40. My mum had two babies in her 40s though. I think it’s a very personal choice when to stop having kids.