What's your upper age limit for having last baby

I’ve seen equal hate and judgement to younger parents vs older parents and most of the time it’s always at the mum rather than the day in my experience. It’s a shame in 2026 we are still judging.

There is no right time and even if you feel the time you had kids “was right” then it’s because it felt right for you.

I always see the arguement of “but you’ll miss out on travel and partying in your youth” vs “eww who would want to change nappies at 44 years old” and it’s so shocking to be honest on both sides x

My 4th was born a few months before my 43rd birthday. It was hard,I had GD and ended up having a cesarean

I had my fourth at 30, I did start very young though which I wouldn't really recommend. In hindsight I probably would have had my kids between 30 and 35. I don't think I'd have wanted to be much older than that. Each to their own though.

I also agree and hate myself for engaging with these threads, they are always a car crash😂

This one was surprisingly civil actually

I would add though, young parenthood is viewed more negatively than older parenthood - in my opinion anyway. It’s seen as irresponsible, ruining your life, boring, restrictive, and you have no prospects and no enjoyment.

You just have to brush it off. We all chose to have children because we wanted to (in most cases), and we (presumably) enjoy it. Whatever age or circumstances you have children in has drawbacks and positives which pretty much equal out. There is no best age. But when a question is asked, people need to argue and debate🤷‍♀️

Absolutely agree and I find it judgemental and petty when woman argue about when the best time is.

Yes because it seems the norm ( sometimes) to do all the interesting stuff first then have kids. If I'd been a middle class young adult living with mummy it probably wouldn't have happened as I'd have spent my wages on other stuff.

So all the people who did do that can't expect mortgages paid off early

Currently 7 months pregnant at 42, having an absolute arse of a pregnancy, had a brilliant first pregnancy at 36. Not sure if its my age as every women in DH's family also had terrible second pregnancies whether they were in their late teens or early 40's though.

If I had my time again Id probably start a bit earlier but I definitely wasnt ready in my 20's and I was able to take nearly 3 years off with DD1 and no immediate pressure to return this time, both have stable jobs etc - I don't believe there's a perfect time and I hate it that women are judged for when they chose to start a family

I don't mean fortunate you paid off your mortgage as in it was just luck, obviously you have worked hard and paid for it, I just meant that it's fortunate to be mortgage free so young and it's not the norm for most, so travelling freely at that age would not be possible for them even if they did want to. Realistically most would need to be in their 60s to do this.

Re your grandchildren, of course everyone's circumstances are different - I am thinking of my own situation where my child sees grandparents regularly so they would miss a huge amount if they went off somewhere for, say, 6 months.

I think one of my friend's parents did go away on an extended trip to Australia a few years ago so obviously people do do it, but this was pre-grandchildren for them.

I didn't have an age limit, I just played it by ear and had dc at 33 and 36. Only wanted 2

But what's the difference if the grandchildren are in the same country but 300 miles away like 3 of mine? Or should I tell my DD to move her family nearby?

Fortunate at paying off the mortgage. Maybe I did it as was working and paying it off when others were travelling and on the piss or even still at uni.

Whichever way round you do things re kid people are allowed time for themselves

But you must recognise that it's very fortunate that you have paid off a mortgage in your mid-40s and that's not the norm? Most are still very much working full=-time to pay a mortgage at that age. Plus you are self-employed too which is more flexible than being an employee.

A friend of mine sold her business a few years ago once her kids started breeding and been travelling the world ever since

Obviously this is possible if you are lucky enough to have a business to sell, but I really don't think most people would want to do this, especially after their children have...started breeding.

Not saying anyone should be joined at the hip to adult children at all, but I don't know many that would happily go away from them for months, and certainly not their grandchildren when they will change so much over that time.

My mortgage was paid off in my mid 40s. Self employed and don't feel need to be physically near grown adults

A friend of mine sold her business a few years ago once her kids started breeding and been travelling the world ever since

I'm certainly not wealthy either lol.

I think ideal situation for me would've say travelled from 18-24 then kids at 25, 27 then they all grown by time I'm in late 40s. Trouble is even without kids I couldn't have afforded to travel then as had mortgage to pay and no bank of mummy and daddy supporting me

That's fine but I don't see why you seem to think adult kids are restrictive and make you not " fully free"

I would agree with this though personally, once you have children you are a parent forever. I would not want to be away from my children for any significant length of time, even as adults...I wouldn't go travelling for months on end as I could have in my 20s (not that I did!) as I would miss them, and even more so if there were grandchildren in question.

I also think that surely unless you are really wealthy it would be much harder financially to go off travelling/on lots of long holidays in your 40s/50s? In my 20s I worked in retail and lived with my parents (or alternatively would have been renting), I could have saved up and taken off for however long I wanted with no consequences. Now I am in my late 30s I am in a career and working in a far more senior role which I couldn't just drop and pick up again a few months down the line, and I also have a mortgage, which will still be the case over the next 20 years so I don't have same level of money to drop on travelling.

It doesn’t but it’s a totally different life phase than your 20s regardless. I’m not replying anymore I’ve made my point not making it again.

Ok if you say so. Providing theoretical " support" doesn't mean to can do your own thing lol.

I don’t understand how you don’t understand the difference to be honest . Yes they are independent of course but you are still a parent regardless. You are still there to provide support to adult kids if something goes wrong. Having zero responsibility, zero ties etc in your 20s not having settled down yet is different in my opinion .

That's fine but I don't see why you seem to think adult kids are restrictive and make you not " fully free"

Thechaseison71 · Today 13:05

Travelling in your 50s after kids is much more appreciated than by many of those in their 20s

And if you have done a decent job of bringing up your kids they should be independent adults ( barring SN) so dont restrict you

TheIceBear · Today 12:56

Yeh but you aren’t fully free compared to child free people you still have adult children no matter what way you look at it . Plus backpacking and travelling in your 40s is never going to be as much craic as your 20s that’s my opinion.

Agreed.

Look I appreciate that you think travelling and partying in your 50s is the exact same as in your twenties but I disagree and that’s it. It’s a different life phase altogether in my opinion. Being in your 20s travelling with no life baggage is different in my opinion. Appreciate you probably disagree and wouldn’t want my choices either . We are all different . I’m just outlining why I woudnt have wanted them in my 20s personally.

If you’re having doubts about putting your body “through it again” then maybe you’re at your personal cut off?

It really depends on how soon you started having children/were able to have children as well so every single person is different.

I’d say it’s around mid 30’s for me.

What ? No I didn’t have any kids in tow back then nor did I want to.

U don't have ADULT kids in town though

No cut off here, and had mine in my 30s and 40s. No way I'd have been ready in my 20s. I think it depends where you are, too. My whole NCT group was my age - a young mum round here would be more likely to be mistaken for a nanny than a woman in her 40s for a granny!

Is this helping, OP?

I had my last one at 37 and first one at 30, the only difference between the pregnancies was feeling more tired at 37.
I think my last child has the best version of my me/my parenting, the others were closer together in age and I was juggling work etc I’m more aware now of how quickly time flies, stress less over the small stuff and just enjoy being their Mum.
I’m early 40’s and close relatives had another one around the age I am now, I wouldn’t have any more now, 38 was my limit if I hadn’t fallen pregnant by then, I would have stopped at 2