What's your upper age limit for having last baby

Yes I’m sure all the women on here who say that to belittle the younger mothers are ex drug addicts.

@harri7284 oh its not just comments about being embarrassing. It’s stuff like “it’s so selfish to have a baby after 35 it’s not fair on the kids etc etc”. It goes both ways that’s all I’m saying

.Someone could have been a drug addict at 21 and turn their life around and become a parent at 30 or whatever and say “I woudnt have been a good parent at 21” . What on earth has that got to do with your situation? If you are reading every comment about someone else’s choices and why they didn’t become a parent at your age as a judgement on you as a parent then that’s on you.

Early 40s would be my limit. I’m 36 with four now and would love one more. I had my first when I was 21 so say I had another at 40, there would be a 19 year age gap.

Firstly, because it’s a stupid thing to say, most women who get pregnant at 21 would do their upmost to be the best parent they could be. The ones who are not, likely wouldn’t have been a good parent at any age. No one here could say what kind of parent they would be at whatever age because unless you do it, you don’t know. But we know that for most of us, we step up to the plate when the time comes.

Secondly, you’re being really obtuse if you think saying someone looks embarrassing as a parent is worse or even the same as saying someone is a worse parent being younger.

Originally it was 30, but I didn’t meet my partner until I was 34. We had our first when I was 37 and said we were one and done, but when I was 38 we decided to have another. That one took nearly 2 years to conceive so I was actually 41 when I had him. It was a terrible pregnancy and I know my body couldn’t take another even though I would love one more. My first pregnancy was uneventful, I’m not sure why that one was so bad.

It’s just as bad the opposite way “I’d be embarrassed having a parent that age as a teenager “ etc . Really nasty stuff that there is no need for. I don’t see what’s wrong with someone saying they wouldn’t have made a good parent at 21 maybe they specifically wouldn’t have , that doesn’t mean everyone isn’t a good parent at that age.

I always figured it depends on you/ your own individual situation.

I have nearly 5 years between my two children. I was just 34 for my oldest. My youngest was born a day before my 39th birthday.

I was asked how it felt between the two, but honestly, my recovery after kid 2 was much smoother. I had some unexpected pregnancy complications with my oldest, and was super ill. I had two miscarriages in the six months before conceiving my second though.

My periods are still regular as clockwork. It is the financial cost that means we are not considering a third.

Everyone is different- I found my last pregnancy very tough at 38 but I already had three children, had had a miscarriage and my back was gone (from said three children lol!). My friend just had her first at 43 and it went great for her

I don’t think older parents get scrutinised over their actual parenting like younger parents do. Lots of “I wouldn’t have been a good mother at 21” etc, quite loaded, quite accusatory, quite damning comments actually, whereas older parents tend to just get made fun of as opposed to having their parenting criticised. Neither is right of course, but I think the vitriol towards young people is harsher.

Yeah, its always so weird about that here The comments along the lines of OMG!OMG! What about when you are in your fifties and have a teenager, you'll just DIE of exhaustion!!

I am 62, DS is 16. I also work full time in a demanding job. I am just fine, have not disintegrated yet.

I disagree I mean I dunno about in real life but certainly on mumsnet older mums get just as bad. Being told they are granny age , that their kids will be embarrassed of them , that they won’t be any help with grandchildren when they are older etc etc .

I had my last at 36. It was fine. No issues at all. Was a very easy baby though so that makes a difference. My cut off would be 43-45.

I’m not sure why people have to be so judgemental of each other. The question was about the age after which we personally would want to have our last child. I originally wanted to children between 30 and 35 which tbh is similar to my own Mum and Grandma but I’m pregnant with first at 33 and don’t want 2 under 2 so guess I’ll up it to 37/38.

Surely it depends a lot on when you meet the right partner. I’d rather have a child later with the right person.

Oh yeah I don't mean I regret having children. I just mean I regret that I couldn't have them younger. Maybe regret is the wrong word, then. Rue? But I mean I know I'm very fortunate overall so it's not a big deal.

Mine was 35 but mostly due to when I started having children as opposed to thinking 35+ is too old, I had mine in my 20s and said to myself we need to decide by 35 if we want a 3rd. I didn’t want massive age gap and I didn’t want to spend another era of my adulthood in active parenting.

I was 34 with my third and last, my husband was 40 and that was the cut off for him. If he was younger I think we would've tried for a fourth but now I'm 38 I definitely feel I'm too old for another

I was one and done by 28. It was a great age imo. I’d been to uni twice, travelled, lived in another country, partied very hard, bought a house and got married. Now 43 with a dd15. Having dc hasn’t stopped us travelling or my career. I did a doctorate when she was young and have a great career. Worked PT for the last 8 years. Mortgage paid off.

I’m making plans to buy a holiday home in the Med and will spend a lot of time there (whilst doing a bit of work) within 4-5 years (when I’m 48ish) when dd has gone to uni.

My best friends started much later (though they’d been with their partners as long or longer than I had) and they had their dc in late 30’s and one at 40. I appreciate that we’re at different life stages now but when I see them running around after toddlers and toilet training, alongside peri symptoms whilst managing aging parents I’m just glad it’s not me. Each to their own though.

38would have been my cut off because of age gaps and job role. I would have loved another but life did not work that way.

had my youngest at 35 and honestly the thought of going back to the newborn phase now makes me want to cry 😂

37 is definitely not too old at all, loads of mums at our school gates had their lasts at 40 or 41! but you really have to listen to your body. mine are at primary school now and just being able to sleep through the night and not deal with nappies anymore is pure bliss. i would love a third in theory but i am just too knackered for the reality of it.

if your body is saying no, don't feel guilty about stopping at two!

We agreed we’d stop trying once I turned 35 just because we felt like we were elongating our time with small children, and we had our first when I was 16 so we’d already had almost two decades with a child. I got pregnant at 32 with my third in the end so it didn’t cause an issue.

Absolute max is 40. Had my son at 35, and wouldn't want more than a five year gap for him and a riskier pregnancy for me.

Have to say, I think I'm done though. He's a delightful child, and I've held a couple of newborns recently and felt zero urges for more. More interested in having adventures with him.

I’m in my 20s and had my first at 16. Most people I know my age without kids aren’t travelling the world. Some of them told me they didn’t want to be like me as they were “focusing on their careers” and lo and behold they are working in the exact same job as me.
They didn’t get the memo that you only get to say that if you’re training to be a lawyer or something else that requires zero distractions.

Also different strokes for different folks but I hate drinking my body must process alcohol differently from other people because I get a severe hangover straight away so partying through my twenties would have been a nightmare anyway. That’s not me coping either I genuinely hate drinking

Yes exactly. You can be a great mum at 18 and a great mum at 43 equally a rubbish parent at 18 vs a rubbish parent at 43. Who cares, not your monkeys not your circus and all

Agree it's silly when people get nasty/rude on these threads. Ultimately we all only go where our lives take us and do what's possible for us as individuals. There are not many people who are ready for children at 20 but choose to wait until their 40s to have them, it all depends how your life worked out. There are good and bad parents at all ages.