What's your upper age limit for having last baby

It’s a very personal decision. Everyone’s circumstances and outlook are different. No one on this thread is right or wrong, they’re just giving you their perspective. So of no help at all. These ‘how old is too old/too young/too poor/too fat’ to have a baby threads are actually really quite tedious. There is at least one a week and it just turns into a horrible judgey thread. If you want a baby, have one. If you don’t. Don’t.

For me it was 40, but in reality by my late 30s we called it a day on trying. I had my eldest at 21, and am now enjoying a huge amount of freedom in my forties that I completely missed in my twenties and teens by between an abusive relationship as a teen and then having my first child straight out of university. In hindsight, I'm happy with how it turned out and I'm glad we didn't keep trying. One of my friends had a surprise baby recently at 45, and while she's delighted I just absolutely could not imagine having the energy or willingness to do it myself!

I had my two at 36 and 38 and my age was definitely one factor in the decision not to have a third.

If I had had my first at 38, I would definitely have gone for a second at 40/42.

Or maybe they feel obliged

Strangely never hear a word when its the adult kids move miles away, even to other countries yet their parents are meant to restrict their lives and stay nearby?

Not everyone lives bear grandchildren to see them regularly either. 3 of mine are hundreds of miles away about probaby see them 2 or 3 times a year max

No I don't, but I was thinking around my own friendship group and their relationships with their parents. Most of the parents I know (like parents of my own friends) have wanted to stay fairly nearby...not on the doorstep and they do holidays etc alone, but they wouldn't go away for a few months at a time now that they have grandchildren they want to spent time with.

I had my first DD at 19 in the 60s, very naive . You got pregnant,you got married,that was it. Pregnancy was awful, I was sick all the way through
Pre eclampsia, she was left lateral breech,cs booked. I went into labour in hospital, told the nurse my waters had broken, she said "rubbish you've wet the bed".. I was held down and an ng tube out down, they were angry because I was nagging, I was scared. Everyone was panicking around me,there were no surgeons available.add severe ps, then post natal depression..I swore I wouldn't have anymore. We lived in a couple of rented rooms anyway,so it wasn't an option until we bought our first house.. 2 DSS, 2 miscarriages, gynae ops in between. Last baby at 41'was the easiest,no sickness felt great. Only worry was the amniocentesis and being told there was a 1/20 chance of abnormalities, and the wait till 20 weeks.. Home the next day, breastfeeding, hanging out the washing. Back at work when she was 3 months old...part shifts first, nursing,still breastfeeding.. I was very fit to start with,gym, cycling,full contact karate. Back in my pre pregnancy clothes at 6 weeks.At 42, I was a grandparent.

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See I like business class long haul but don't pay stupid prices that I see from London airports. Last trip the business class flights to Asia were £220 more than economy Well worth it

But 5 star hotels? Seriously no. I find them extremely boring with unsociable people if you travel solo. Give me a decent hostel anytine

My eldest grandchild will be in his twenties when I'm 63

You also tend to get treated worse by healthcare professionals as well.

I had dd1 just after I turned 19. She wasn’t planned but my now DH and I made the choice to keep her and I would have said we have been good parents. DDs have certainly turned out very well and we are all very close.

anyway, As we had one we decided we may as well have another and complete our family young. I came off the pill but nothing happened and I only actually had one period in about 9 months. So I went to the doctors to see what was going on. Explained we were wanting to try for a second etc etc. I was 21 at the time. The doctor, a woman who looked to be on her late 50s gave me the most patronising look and said “why do you want another one dear, isn’t having one hard enough for you?” I honestly didn’t know what to say to her. I tried to explain but she was so rude, condescending and dismissive that I just left. Awful woman. Still makes me mad now. I wouldn’t have been treated like that if I had been 35!

As it was a few months later I got pregnant with dd2 despite not having another period. With things the way they were and my very erratic periods I may not have even been able to have children naturally if I had waited until I was older. I haven’t always been the most on it with contraception and I have never got pregnant again.

im blessed to have my dds and I am actually very glad I had them young. I don’t know if we would have the same relationship we do have if I had been older. With my family history of health problems i think my cut off would have been around the 35-37 mark for a last baby. But people have different lives, histories and family health.

I do think younger parents get more judgment and worse comments though. If you haven’t been a young parent you won’t get it, but you always feel like you have something to prove, like the assumption is that you won’t be a good parent and you have to fight to prove that you are. There used to be an older mum at school who used to talk to me slowly when we first met, just in case I violent understand her if she spoke at a normal rate, you know, being a young parents equals being thick. She did stop once we spent time on the PtA together and she realised I wasn’t actually an idiot, but it’s the assumption. It’s something you won’t experience as an older parent.

I had mine at 24, 31 and 34. 24 was the hardest on my body, both pregnancy and delivery, the other 2 were brilliant. We still enjoyed our twenties as we had an only child for so long so could travel, did a post grad degree bought a bigger house, saved, etc. I always said 35 was my cut off but that’s because of the kids age gap, but if I had none before 35, I would have tried for one even at 45

40. Had 2 in my 20s. Wanted 3 and 4. Eventually had no 3 at 39 and 3/4s. Knew not to push my luck

My cut off point would have been my body’s cut off point, probably around 46. I had both mine in my forties and mulled over a third but decided to stop at 2.

the first poster here was just as condescending!

Had my youngest at 30 , just shy of 31. Felt
Like the right time . Personal cut off would have been 33.
Understand peoples circa are different so some leeway is needed.
My own observation is that my mum was 34 when she had me. This was fine when I was younger , but all of a sudden , maybe when I was upper mid 20s , she seemed alot older (despite no specific health issues an being health concsious) and if I could choose I would rather she had had me nearer late 20s/ 30 to have had a little more energy and been a more active grandparent.

You don't have adult children do you? It's a very different relationship from when they are tiny and need you.

No, I had the youngest two years ago! Not the eldest!!!

That’s good for you. We all have different priorities and some people choose to prioritise having children to give them the best chance of having fit and active parents. Also the thought of having to raise a family whilst caring for your own aging parents is a little off putting.

we all have our own lives to live and place most importance on different things. You prioritised your freedom and travel and this poster prioritised having kids young enough that her life panned out how she wanted it to.

you don’t need to be condescending about it.

Maybe for you it will be . I can’t see myself ever going business class . I wouldn’t be arsed throwing away money on that unless I was loaded .

I disagree

My mother was 19 when I was born. I was nearly 46 when DS was born We have both been very good parents. Its not all about age.

@1990thatsme You've had four in two years?!!!

I had mine at 36, 38 and 42. It wasn’t easy but I wouldn’t be without any of them!

30 was my cut off, I had two DC by 27.
My mum went through the menopause early so I knew if I definitely wanted to have DC it would need to be sooner rather than later.

My cut off was 30 and I was done prior to that.

The only people I’ll allow to judge me for it would be my own children.

But why wouldn’t I want as many years as possible with the people I love most.