Is friend BU about wedding invitations?

I would feel my dh was insulted, it would offend me, my dh probably wouldn't care but I would.

This

Cant you do things alone? Are you joined at the hip?

This^
I also think that bringing Brian everywhere was very very rude on Anna’s side. Of course you were “tolerating“ him rather than being excited about him coming.
And ime friends socialize in couples eventually but it takes time.
I suspect the friendship with Anna will die very soon OP, whatever you do. Anna is very unreasonable one and it’s tricky to be friends with unreasonable people.

Jessica invited them both to her wedding so that is a given that that both Jessica and her husband should be invited.
I would also invite Katie and her long term partner.

Both these couples could be invited to just part of the celebration but they both should be treated the same, I think.

The other option would be to not invite any of them.
That would be preferable to inviting just the women.

Inviting one of a non married couple is fine if it is a very large wedding and they are part of a larger bunch of work friends.

Why?

Why is it important their partners are there tho? I don't get why they think they have to be joined at the hip

Yanbu. I wouldn’t invite friends without their other half.

YABU Why would the guys even want to go?

Why can't Jessica and Katie just go together? Their partners don't know the wedding couple and acti sly choose not to socialise as a couple so why on earth would they want to go to this wedding??

just read the update that Brian doesn't have any friends of his own. Yeah there's a reason the Jessica and Katie's partners don't want to hang out with him.

MN is weird. Posters on here find every reason under the sun as to why you can't/shouldn't make 'real' friends with people who have at least a few things in common with you - schoolgate mums, work colleagues, people you went to school with....yet apparently adults should spend their precious free time in enforced group bonding with people they have absolutely no link with other than being their partner's friend's partner - and should happily spend time hanging out with them rather than their own, actual friends?

All this enforced 'socialising with partners' thing is so cringe and 1950s to me. What happens if there are single friends or ones who have recently broken up with someone? Are they still allowed to come? What happens if some of the friends are in a same sex relationship so the sexes aren't balanced?

By all means if your partners get on with each other there's nothing wrong in doing things together and becoming a bigger group, but only if everyone actually wants to, not to try and provide ready made mates for a sadsack who (usually for understandable reasons) doesn't have any of his own!

Anna is a rotten friend to exclude her supposed friends dp"s.
If my dh was not invited I wouldn't go.

I find it weird that so many people on this thread are defending Anna, when almost all "AIBU that my friend won't ever meet up with us without her husband coming along" end up pretty strongly voting against the friend (and quickly asking the OP if domestic abuse is a possibility.

Would Anna be annoyed if the two friends didn't come to the wedding? Personally I'm getting to the age where I'm getting a bit bored of them, so would be quite glad to have an excuse not to come!

If you go back to basics, Jessica invited Brian, so Anna and Brian should reciprocate with Jessica's partner. It would be different if it was a very small wedding, but 100 people isn't. I can't believe they both socialise with 98 other people on a regular basis! When do they find the time!

Sorry not you. The person who felt offended.

Well thats fine but then dont expect Anna to fund free booze and meals for these (to her) random guys.
I feel like this is being made into a massive deal though as personally I would have no issue going to a close friends wedding without being draped over my partners arm.
Are K & J not looking forward to spending the much coveted "quality girl time" together without having to add the annoyance of partners into the mix?

Sounds like the partners wouldn't care about going anyway so all good.

It's bang out of order to question the number of plus ones issued at weddings. At least to the bride and groom directly.

This stuff costs money and they had to be a limit drawn somewhere. Is it so awful for that line to be that they only invite people they socialise with?

You can RSVP no. Or if you wanna be sniffly say you aren't coming because you won't go to events paid for by others unless you're accompanied by your partner. But then you'd risk seeming a tosser.

Ah by your “fuming” comment you’re talking about this a LOT! are you enjoying the drama?

I find it weird that if youre that close you wouldnt just all sort of fold into one another and become like a community of friends/acquaintances. Its weird to me that these 2 guys cant really be bothered to go on the odd double date with this couple. Like how busy are these guys that they cant manage a meal/trip to the cinema once every 3 or 4 months?

Im team Anna

Are you referring to your self in the 3rd person, or just annoyed people aren’t agreeing with you? “Oh yeah!! Anna and Brian are awful!!! They absolutely should invite people who tell them they don’t want to socialise with them to their wedding!! Don’t they know K&Js partners are considerably better than them and they should be desperate to invite them!”

In all my years of going to weddings, I have never come across anyone who doesn’t permit a plus one for pretty much everyone. All this ‘I only want people I love at my wedding’ nonsense takes me to the fair. I’m in NI and people even invite - shudder - children to their wedding. The weddings spoken about on Mumsnet all sound so formal and starchy. Here, in my experience, there might be people the bride has never met in her life. And she’s glad to see them because they’re keeping someone she cares about company and making that person’s day a bit better. DP has a gazillion cousins and doesn’t always get invited to their weddings, but when he does, I’m invited too. Even to some of his cousins’ children’s weddings these days. God, we’re old! Sometimes if a wedding is small, cousins etc won’t be invited, but anyone who is invited takes their significant other.

I think a pp hit the nail on the head, that the bride is sending a message that her friends’ partners aren’t making enough effort on the cosy couples front. Which, if true, is rather petty.