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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sending toddler to private nursery as long as possible?

90 replies

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 17:30

My toddler can go to free nursery next September (2027) or stay in current nursery and go to reception 2028.

I see no reason to keep them at private nursery. They would be in a room with children just turned 2 and I just think they will have outgrown the nursey. There are 31 children in the nursey room, but not all attend every day etc. They also cater for sen children, and that's included in the 31 children.

Private nursery than care is just at one place and 51 weeks a year. Wrap around care is provided term time at the nursey attached to the school and I would use holiday club/annual leave the rest of the year

Aibu in thinking that a 4 year old is too old for private nursery?

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elliejjtiny · 02/03/2026 00:56

Ds1 went to private nursery from 2.5 until he started school
Ds2, 4 and 5 went to state preschool from aged 2.
Ds3 didn't go anywhere.

InfoSecInTheCity · 01/03/2026 22:59

DD stayed at private nursery till she started reception. It worked better around our work hours, she was settled and happy, they had different rooms for different age groups so she wasn’t in with the babies or young toddlers and we didn’t know what primary she would actually get a place at till the April before she started so it didn’t seem like a good idea to uproot her to a new setting if it might not even be the school she ended up at.

mrsmacmc · 01/03/2026 22:52

Not sure what your question is?

We plan to keep DD in her private nursery until school. She is settled and happy, we can use our funded hours stretching them for full year provision when she turns 3 and pay for the additional hours we need which will be much less than our current nursery bill which is like a second mortgage payment. Scotland based if that makes a difference?

Namechange6578 · 01/03/2026 22:23

Eldest DD we kept at private nursery (they had a preschool room for 3+ yrs) so we didn't have to manage the school holidays. Was just more convenient.

But with younger DD, as we already had to manage the hols and we'd got to know the school, plus they offered wraparound care, we moved her to the school nursery. Saved thousands of pounds!!!

Our local holiday club takes them from 4 so we did have to manage the first few months of school nursery with annual leave and family until she turned 4.

HeNeedsRehab · 01/03/2026 22:15

Mine stayed at private nursery because I couldn’t manage all the holidays (no holiday clubs offered for that age) and the hours meant I could actually work.

Their nursery had a room for pre-schoolers so from the Sept all the ones starting school the following September were in together and they prepared them (as best they could) for school.

No regrets, worked fine for us.

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 22:07

FancyCatSlave · 01/03/2026 20:21

That’s not the same. An early years qualified teacher is a different qualification to nursery staff quals.

Ah thanks

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FredbassetOT · 01/03/2026 22:03

We sent ours to the preschool attached to the school on our non working days so they got used to being on the school site. It was only 8.45-3.15 so no use for work. We kept them in the private day nursery the other 3 days which had a busy 3+ setting and worked better for working parents.

If school nursery had offered longer hours, then I'd have used that - so long as wraparound care isn't through school. I'm not sure just turned 3 DD would have coped well with the y6 boys in the school hall.

MakeMineAMilkyTea · 01/03/2026 20:51

I kept mine at the private nursery. The school I wanted him to attend didn’t have a nursery st the time and I didn’t want to move him to then move him again. Also childcare, open all year round bar the week between Christmas and new year or term time only. Made my life easier for another 18 months keeping him at private nursery.

violetcuriosity · 01/03/2026 20:49

The only reason I’m keeping mine in private nursery is to make the most of school holiday childcare two days a week as long as possible 😂

Amba1998 · 01/03/2026 20:42

Well your question is wrong.

would it be wrong to keep them at your private nursery? Maybe

would it have been wrong to and was it to leave mine in? No. Because it was a different set up. It was JUST a pre school room.

coldinearlyspring · 01/03/2026 20:41

It’s funny but I guess it shows how all nurseries are different. Our nursery has Blossoms (under 1) Caterpillars (1-2) Butterflies (2-3) and Owls (3-4.) So it’s quite nice really. Owls is the preschool part.

Janefx40 · 01/03/2026 20:36

Others have said this but our school has a nursery but doesn’t take nursery kids in the wraparound provision. Plus my older child wouldn’t have been able to cope with going to a provision with much older kids at that age. My younger may cope better with that.

Also nursery and private are both funded from the same government funding so there will be private nurseries that offer the same 30 hours free childcare (21 if you don’t do term time only) per week that the school nurseries do. Of course if yours doesn’t do the government scheme then you would need to find a different private setting that does.

My sons nursery is the same as you are describing so all kids aged 2-4 in the same room and I have also wondered whether he will get enough stimulation from that when he is aged 3.5/4. I’m very far from being a tiger mum but there’s no doubt my elder child (who was at a different, more structured nursery) got a lot out of the learning they did at that age. She was very ready for it and really thrived.

i can’t do school hours but also our school has two year groups per class so i feel like the nursery kids are pretty much starting reception a year early. That’s not my preference for him and i also don’t want to move him to another, more structured nursery and cause more disruption so he will stay where he is until reception despite my doubts. I know he is happy so that is the main thing.

Pinkchilli · 01/03/2026 20:35

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 18:05

They had 60 children running free in the class?

In an open plan purpose built area, which is part of an open plan school. Just felt it would be too much for DD.

goz · 01/03/2026 20:25

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 20:18

Snarky yourself

Telling someone they are wrong when they’re spouting false information isn’t snarky ✌️

FancyCatSlave · 01/03/2026 20:21

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:46

Thanks. So they call all the staff Early Years Edicators or they are training.

That’s not the same. An early years qualified teacher is a different qualification to nursery staff quals.

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 20:18

goz · 01/03/2026 20:09

Not sure why you’re being so snarky when you’re completely misunderstanding how a private nursery works.

You’re very much in the wrong here.

Some people choose a school nursery because they don’t need out of term care, it’s affiliated with a school which can mean you’re higher up the admissions criteria at a certain school and the child will have had an extra being closely affiliated with the school.
In terms of care, curriculum, school readiness etc a private nursery covers the exact same things and have to by law. Private nurseries are designed specifically to cater to 3 & 4 years olds, as well as younger children and babies.
The benefit of a private nursery is wrap around care, setting consistency for the child and often a higher teacher/ carer to child ratio.

Snarky yourself

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HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 01/03/2026 20:18

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:56

Private nursery. They don't call themselves preschool do they

They did at ours. baby room, toddler room and pre school.

coldinearlyspring · 01/03/2026 20:09

I kept ds in private nursery until he left to start school and will do the same for DD. I guess there’s an argument for changing the environment if the primary school you want them to go to have a school nursery but ours didn’t and I have found a lot of school nurseries to be very ‘school like’, insisting on five days a week attendance and turning up on time etc. I like the flexibility of private nursery.

goz · 01/03/2026 20:09

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:56

Private nursery. They don't call themselves preschool do they

Not sure why you’re being so snarky when you’re completely misunderstanding how a private nursery works.

You’re very much in the wrong here.

Some people choose a school nursery because they don’t need out of term care, it’s affiliated with a school which can mean you’re higher up the admissions criteria at a certain school and the child will have had an extra being closely affiliated with the school.
In terms of care, curriculum, school readiness etc a private nursery covers the exact same things and have to by law. Private nurseries are designed specifically to cater to 3 & 4 years olds, as well as younger children and babies.
The benefit of a private nursery is wrap around care, setting consistency for the child and often a higher teacher/ carer to child ratio.

thewonderfulmrswatson · 01/03/2026 20:09

All my boys (4 of them) attended a nursery attached to the primary school I wanted them to go to & then when they started in reception, they already knew some children in their class.
Edited for spelling

Tryingtohelp12 · 01/03/2026 20:01

I would check the holiday club takes them at 4, my schools one doesn’t take them till 5 because of ratios xx

Tommingon · 01/03/2026 20:00

Both should cater to pre schoolers. My DD did a mix of both once she turned three, so she could complete nursery with the DC she grew up with and had somewhere to go during the school holidays and settled in gradually to her new school. DD is in reception now and still goes to the nursery during school holidays.

Nursemumma92 · 01/03/2026 20:00

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:56

Private nursery. They don't call themselves preschool do they

No but all private nurseries I've encountered have a pre school room for children 3 or 3.5 and over.

PennyPugwash · 01/03/2026 19:59

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:56

Private nursery. They don't call themselves preschool do they

They do in our private nursery. It goes baby room, toddler room, preschool.

babysnark123 · 01/03/2026 19:56

goz · 01/03/2026 19:55

In what way is it a different concept?

It’s literally the same concept, it’s why the 30 hours exist. You either use the 30 hours in a free school nursery or you apply the 30 free hours to get the same time “free”.

Private nurseries will have a preschool class based on age, school nurseries will have the same aged class. Both settings will be using the EYFS for preschool aged children and covering the same general concepts for development.

Private nursery. They don't call themselves preschool do they

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