Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

334 replies

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

OP posts:
SheSaidHummingbird · 02/03/2026 21:20

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

And everyone left the room

Womaninhouse17 · 02/03/2026 21:19

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

I think your complaint should be about having to share a room (no matter who it is) rather than about one particular person.

IngridBurger · 02/03/2026 21:07

Screamingabdabz · 02/03/2026 20:58

As the thread has gone on, I feel sorry for the colleague tbh. YANBU for not wanting to share but YABU for your inflated sense of superiority.

Me too. Neither should have to share, it's totally unacceptable for an employer to expect this. There appears to be a real disdain for this poor colleague though who also deserves privacy and respect.

Woodywig · 02/03/2026 21:04

I’ve stayed away with work a lot over the years & in different jobs. I have never been asked to share a room with a colleague. Seems very unusual & not at all appropriate.

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:01

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:53

No way in a million years would I agree to share with anyone who wasn’t a close friend! That’s so weird! For all the reasons you’ve given! Sharing a toilet and sleeping in the same room as near stranger would make me beyond uncomfortable!!

So you never use the toilet in a pub/restaurant etc?

Screamingabdabz · 02/03/2026 20:58

As the thread has gone on, I feel sorry for the colleague tbh. YANBU for not wanting to share but YABU for your inflated sense of superiority.

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:55

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 18:45

Did you miss the ‘in her own words’? Or are you just a bit dim?

I can’t believe you’re getting called out for this! She snores and eats hot food in the room after having dinner, she sounds vile! Fat or not…

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:53

No way in a million years would I agree to share with anyone who wasn’t a close friend! That’s so weird! For all the reasons you’ve given! Sharing a toilet and sleeping in the same room as near stranger would make me beyond uncomfortable!!

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:52

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:48

No and no.

Excellent reply. You carry on fat shaming people, your company should be so proud 👍

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:48

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:47

Guessing you are the perfect room guest? Don’t snore, talk on your phone etc etc?

No and no.

OP posts:
dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:48

waterrat · 02/03/2026 20:40

just no. absolutely no way would I share a room as an adult for work.

Why?

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:47

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

Guessing you are the perfect room guest? Don’t snore, talk on your phone etc etc?

Spirallingdownwards · 02/03/2026 20:45

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

Sorry I lost any sympathy when you posted this.

tadjennyp · 02/03/2026 20:41

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 18:44

I'm sure things are different in education (question though - is going on these school trips mandatory or is it an optional activity to make extra money?). In the commercial world, I've never heard of anyone sharing a room on a business trip. For optional jollies such as a "team-building weekends" etc, yes. But not for work.

Not mandatory. Often expected to go over weekends or holidays. No extra money at all.

waterrat · 02/03/2026 20:40

just no. absolutely no way would I share a room as an adult for work.

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 20:39

KatieKat88 · 02/03/2026 20:16

There is no 'making extra money' in education - educational tour operators will generally give 'free' teacher places per X number of students but it'll be based on us sharing, so extra rooms would cost more. Obviously staff don't get paid for going on the trips.

But is this mandatory as part of your employment? If not, I would grudgingly accept that. But I wouldn't be volunteering to go on those things either.

loulouljh · 02/03/2026 20:34

I would not share with anyone.

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

Breadcat24 · 02/03/2026 20:28

To be honest it sounds like you do not want to share a room (understandable) and are then taking it out on the person they put you with by making remarks about their diet, size, habits etc.(not so nice)
I suspect the result you want is for management to not make you share a room.
Would be very funny if they gave the woman you shared with her own room and you still had to share but with someone else!

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

OP posts:
Frottin · 02/03/2026 20:30

MsDitsy · 02/03/2026 18:21

But her size causes the snoring. It does with my husband and the times he's lost a bit of weight, the snoring stops. I often have to sleep in another room if I have to be well rested the next day. Same with the bathroom visits, it's a good job we have two!

What you meant to say there was your DH's weight seems to be the cause of HIS snoring.

You have zero idea about any other person so it's best not to comment, then you won't look ignorant.

Breadcat24 · 02/03/2026 20:28

To be honest it sounds like you do not want to share a room (understandable) and are then taking it out on the person they put you with by making remarks about their diet, size, habits etc.(not so nice)
I suspect the result you want is for management to not make you share a room.
Would be very funny if they gave the woman you shared with her own room and you still had to share but with someone else!

Notasbigasithink · 02/03/2026 20:26

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

I think legally companies cannot force you to share a room because of rights to privacy.
Just request that you have your own room next time. Company budget should not infringe on your human rights.

KatieKat88 · 02/03/2026 20:16

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 18:44

I'm sure things are different in education (question though - is going on these school trips mandatory or is it an optional activity to make extra money?). In the commercial world, I've never heard of anyone sharing a room on a business trip. For optional jollies such as a "team-building weekends" etc, yes. But not for work.

There is no 'making extra money' in education - educational tour operators will generally give 'free' teacher places per X number of students but it'll be based on us sharing, so extra rooms would cost more. Obviously staff don't get paid for going on the trips.

Kate8889 · 02/03/2026 20:05

One time when asked to share a room with another male, an colleague of mine said, while making full eye contact "I work with the man, I don't sleep with him". That was the end of that policy, nobody had to share again.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 02/03/2026 19:51

I'd rather sleep in my car.

ScrollingLeaves · 02/03/2026 19:45

Paraguay · 01/03/2026 15:57

This

I don’t think you should ever have been asked to share either. I wouldn’t.