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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am not a "person who menstruates"

211 replies

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:22

AIBU to think that terms such as "birthing person", "partner with eggs", "womb-carrier", "cervix haver", "people who menstruate", "chest-feeder" are not only insulting to women but downright hurtful to those who have any gynaecological and/or fertility issues, including DSDs?

Those terms may be considered inclusive to/by people whose gender identity doesn't match their sex (c.0.5% in the UK) but are exclusive to those with DSDs or gynaecological issues (c.12% in the UK).

NB My figures are rough, partly because the statistics relating to people with DSDs are very contentious and because "gynaecological issues" is a broad term, but they are clearly significantly higher for the latter group.

OP posts:
TheignT · 01/03/2026 16:00

Elizabethandfour · 01/03/2026 15:42

Yanbu. My local clinic had a sign saying ‘people with a cervix’ should have a smear test. I complained and they did change it to women and transmen with a cervix. If you are that fragile in your identity just don’t bother identifying as a different sex then.

I can't see a problem with that. I'm a person, I no longer have a cervix, I'm still a woman and I'm still a person. The sign seems perfectly clear to me.

TheChirpyReader · 01/03/2026 16:00

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:51

Just a Facebook short. The woman was just making the point that she hadn't come across that particular term before (and neither had I). Obviously a lot of the others have been around for a while.

Show quote history

Right, so someone said it on Facebook?

But where were they saying it came from?

UK Government? the NHS? UK Councils?

People say all kinds of shit on SM. Usually about other things they've seen on SM.

If it's on an official document the fine, address it. But if it's just 'someone said on Facebook they saw it somewhere else' then you'll just have to accept people say all kinds of shit on an unregulated internet, much of it designed to inflame and get clicks and likes and people frothing about something.

I could easily say 'just saw a post on MN saying experts have said WW3 has started' and it'd be true that the post exists but not true that it's official evidence that we all need to worry about.

NoSoupForU · 01/03/2026 16:00

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:54

Well the impression I get is that a lot of people (granted a minority, but a very vocal one) do expect people to concede in all sorts of ways such as giving up single-sex spaces and changing aspects of language. Some of those are trans people themselves but others are "allies" who can be just as militant and vociferous.

Show quote history

Right, so a minority. In the UK there are about a quarter of a million trans people. You hear the sensationalist stories on social media and in the gutter press about a handful of them. So called trans activists are campaigning primarily for inclusiveness are they not? And it isn't entirely beyond the realms of possible for people to be able to coexist quite peacefully, just minding their own business.

Very very few sex crimes are committed by trans people. They are predominantly committed by men, as we know. But some sex crimes are committed by women, yet I don't hear all the hysteria of how a female pervert could be lurking in the toilets or changing rooms. It's like people have lost all ability to assess a situation and risk for themselves now.

Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:59

ilovesooty · 01/03/2026 15:57

I suppose it depends on the articles and videos you choose to read and watch then.

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That is a fair point. I do try to look at things from a range of perspectives but I'm aware that this is likely skewed by algorithms.

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/03/2026 15:58

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 01/03/2026 15:37

I did a maternity nursing course some years ago, and that was fine, but when I looked into doing some CPD with them a year or 2 later they'd gone over to using 'chest-feeding' so I dropped them like a hot brick. MATERNITY nursing professionals!!

Chest feeding makes absolutely no sense. Men also have breasts, as is evidenced by the fact they can get breast cancer. I would expect a healthcare organisation to at least be familiar with basic biology.

ilovesooty · 01/03/2026 15:57

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:56

You see it all the time in articles and on videos and I rarely see any push-back.

Show quote history

I suppose it depends on the articles and videos you choose to read and watch then.

Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:56

ilovesooty · 01/03/2026 15:54

Where are these TRAs who "get away" with it?

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You see it all the time in articles and on videos and I rarely see any push-back.

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:54

NoSoupForU · 01/03/2026 15:51

But do they? Or are people making assumptions based on the voices of a tiny minority and the probably well intended approach some organisations have taken to try to avoid inadvertently discriminating against protected groups?

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Well the impression I get is that a lot of people (granted a minority, but a very vocal one) do expect people to concede in all sorts of ways such as giving up single-sex spaces and changing aspects of language. Some of those are trans people themselves but others are "allies" who can be just as militant and vociferous.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/03/2026 15:54

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:43

And not only this, but TRAs also seem to get away with calling gender critical women TERFs, transphobes and bigots with impunity, which makes me similarly livid. But woe betide you if you misgender the 6'3" "woman" with an Adam's apple and a five-o'-clock shadow.

Show quote history

Where are these TRAs who "get away" with it?

NoSoupForU · 01/03/2026 15:51

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:45

People can identify how they wish, but it's when they start expecting the entire world to bend around them that I object.

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But do they? Or are people making assumptions based on the voices of a tiny minority and the probably well intended approach some organisations have taken to try to avoid inadvertently discriminating against protected groups?

Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:51

TheChirpyReader · 01/03/2026 15:47

A video from where?

Made by whom?

Show quote history

Just a Facebook short. The woman was just making the point that she hadn't come across that particular term before (and neither had I). Obviously a lot of the others have been around for a while.

OP posts:
MrsMabelThorpe · 01/03/2026 15:50

I marked up a client's family friendly policies recently. Due to the original using Birthing Parent and Non-Birthing Parent, it made for a challenging read to determine when they meant a father/mother's partner and when they meant someone or a couple adopting. And then they'd so confused themselves they had stated the rights of a primary adopter taking adoption leave, together with what we old fashioned types would call maternity leave, under a section headed "Birthing Parent Leave" 🙃

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 01/03/2026 15:49

"partners with eggs".

Mrs Easter Bunny has one of those!

Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:49

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/03/2026 15:46

One of the many problems I have with this nonsense is that when people are talking about issues that may affect women it's so much clearer and easier to join up the dots if you keep hearing the word 'woman'.

  • Men earn more than women.
  • Men commit almost all sexual offences, women hardly any.
  • Men commit 80%+ of violent offences, women under 20%.
  • Men are in and out of public toilets a lot quicker than women and need them for fewer things.
  • Men's careers are not affected by needing maternity leave, whereas most women's are at some point, and men are less likely to take parental leave or to be carers.

Or:

  • Womb havers earn less than prostate havers.
  • Most sexual offences are committed by cis males and people with a female gender identity but were born in the wrong body. Very few sexual offenders are people who identify as cis females or transmen.
  • Etc etc.

Indeed. Also, anything statistics-related (such as crime stats) is rendered entirely meaningless if men are recorded as women.

OP posts:
Shrinkhole · 01/03/2026 15:48

But are they using it in a context about menstruation? I mean I am a post menopausal woman so still very definitely a woman but no longer a ‘person who menstruates’

I am no longer particularly interested in tampon ads or Moon Cups or discussions about heavy or painful periods so if this is used to direct a discussion towards ‘people who menstruate’ who are more interested in those issues then I guess that’s OK. People who menstruate will be a subset of women. Less so if it’s just a poor attempt at a euphemism for woman.

nocoolnamesleft · 01/03/2026 15:48

Yes it’s offensive. It’s also deeply misogynistic as these dehumanising terms are almost exclusively addressed at women, whilst men are referred to as men.

GreenEyesIsBack · 01/03/2026 15:47

I'm with you OP, and they never talk about men like this do they?

TheChirpyReader · 01/03/2026 15:47

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:44

No, I'm not from the past and I know this isn't a brand new phenomenon, but I just this afternoon saw a video referring to "partners with eggs".

Show quote history

A video from where?

Made by whom?

Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:47

auserna · 01/03/2026 15:44

No, I'm not from the past and I know this isn't a brand new phenomenon, but I just this afternoon saw a video referring to "partners with eggs".

Show quote history

Also it may not be new, but it's still happening and I don't think that should be deemed acceptable.

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/03/2026 15:46

One of the many problems I have with this nonsense is that when people are talking about issues that may affect women it's so much clearer and easier to join up the dots if you keep hearing the word 'woman'.

  • Men earn more than women.
  • Men commit almost all sexual offences, women hardly any.
  • Men commit 80%+ of violent offences, women under 20%.
  • Men are in and out of public toilets a lot quicker than women and need them for fewer things.
  • Men's careers are not affected by needing maternity leave, whereas most women's are at some point, and men are less likely to take parental leave or to be carers.

Or:

  • Womb havers earn less than prostate havers.
  • Most sexual offences are committed by cis males and people with a female gender identity but were born in the wrong body. Very few sexual offenders are people who identify as cis females or transmen.
  • Etc etc.
Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:45

NoSoupForU · 01/03/2026 15:41

Honestly I don't care. I refer to myself however I choose, and inform others to refer to me in that way where it's needed. I just don't take everything as a slur towards me. If someone refused to use my chosen terms then I'd start taking issue, but until then it's just getting angry over nothing.

I don't feel threatened by how anybody else chooses to identify.

People can identify how they wish, but it's when they start expecting the entire world to bend around them that I object.

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:44

TheChirpyReader · 01/03/2026 15:42

Are you from the past?

Dozens of threads like these on MN over the last decade.

And now it really isn't happening as much, if at all.

You're very late.

No, I'm not from the past and I know this isn't a brand new phenomenon, but I just this afternoon saw a video referring to "partners with eggs".

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 01/03/2026 15:43

Motomum23 · 01/03/2026 15:39

Yanbu - we really really need to correct these statements at every turn.

And not only this, but TRAs also seem to get away with calling gender critical women TERFs, transphobes and bigots with impunity, which makes me similarly livid. But woe betide you if you misgender the 6'3" "woman" with an Adam's apple and a five-o'-clock shadow.

OP posts:
TheChirpyReader · 01/03/2026 15:42

Are you from the past?

Dozens of threads like these on MN over the last decade.

And now it really isn't happening as much, if at all.

You're very late.

Elizabethandfour · 01/03/2026 15:42

Yanbu. My local clinic had a sign saying ‘people with a cervix’ should have a smear test. I complained and they did change it to women and transmen with a cervix. If you are that fragile in your identity just don’t bother identifying as a different sex then.

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