To think than more men should have vasectomies?

DD's DH was refused one at his NHS trust as he was "too young and hadn't had any children yet"...he's 33 and neither he nor DD want children ever which was the whole point of him having the snip. He had to go private in the end.

Nrtft but my dh refused flat out to have a vasectomy and after having dd2 I was back on the pill. But because of my age (late 30s) and being overweight, I was more at risk of DVT. So they kept pushing for me to use alternative contraception. Despite having had both dds via C-section, I was refused a tubal ligation at the same time as was told it would be less effective that way.

Eventually, after missing pills and having to take the MAP due to antibiotics interference, they agreed and I had my tubes clipped aged 39.

I have been in pain on and off ever since! (I am now 50 years old.) Also, one of the bloody clips migrated a few years later, so I've not even been protected against an unwanted pregnancy.

We just don't have sex anymore! I would never recommend this to any woman and have told my girls to not have it done.

I'd hate my DH to have a vasectomy...I am perfectly fine and happy with my contraception...not all women struggle with it.

This is interesting as loads of the men in our family and our friendship circle have had vasectomies. DH had his when he was 40 and had to travel an hour and a half away and out of the county as the waiting list locally is so long. Most of my friend's husbands have had the snip too...... they're also really involved, equal parents and partners too so I do wonder if that's a correlation as a PP said.

That's what my DH did. Arranged it a few weeks after DD2 was born. The day she was born he said with awe 'what you have gone through for our family!' I am pleased he got on with calmly sorting it out. While it is a man's choice, I do think that men who get vasectomies are thinking beyond themselves and taking their female partners into account.

DH or his friends aren't regretful of it.
Our sex life has increased considerably and friends say the same. For me I think it wholly takes the back of the mind risk away so it becomes care free. No more tracking/checking or what if something failed risk.

A minority of our friends have DHs with similar opinions to your husbands. My DH laughed when one of them suggested it changed his manhood and simply replied with its key hole surgery they don't lop your balls off!

I agree with this too. DH is an equal parent and partner and had a vasectomy a few years ago. I ended up on the Mirena coil last year due to perimenopause so 0 chance of an another child here!

That's what we were using when DD1 was conceived. Not reliable enough for me

Yes once I’d had my womb out my sex drive went nuts because the worry had gone, even when I wasn’t even aware I was worried. But of course every sexual encounter can result in a pregnancy.

I’ve heard doctors have said to a few friends of mine that it’s better for women to have something done incase the man wants to remarry! Literally said to the couple while they were loved up with a new baby.

No idea. He was brought up in a different culture and I strongly suspect, but cannot prove, that it's almost an affront to his manhood.
Coincidentally A LOT of our mutual friends and my family have had it done and no one seems in any way regretful!

I think men should do whatever they want with their own bodies, just the same as women.

Why won't he even discuss it? Although that kind of childish response would be a huge turn off for me and abstinence would become the contraceptive method!

After DS2 was born I said to DH I wasn't keen on hormonal contraception or the coil (was also bf). So we agreed on condoms.
DH went away and did his own reading and then suggested a vasectomy. We discussed it and he booked an appointment with the GP the following week to go on the waiting list.

The only good thing about menopause is that you're not constantly worried anymore about getting pregnant. That anxiety is a total libido killer, because no contraception is foolproof. I remember every month for YEARS and YEARS having low level anxiety about it. It got a lot worse when I was in perimenopause, because then my cycles were messed up and I'd get weird symptoms like unusually fierce breast pain. I was constantly panicking about it.

And it's a turnoff when men won't carry their share of the physical burden of contraception.

If my idiot H had gotten a vasectomy when I'd asked him, we'd have had a lot more sex before menopause kicked in and trampled what was left of my libido into the dust.

A few years ago I met with a group of couples, all around 40ish at the time. One of the group announced she was unexpectedly pregnant, the other two couples in the group (both parents of two kids) were astonished her husband hadn't had the snip yet. They said they had arranged it shortly after the birth of their second and pretty much told him to make an appointment first thing Monday morning. He seemed pretty convinced.

Years ago my DM had her tubal ligation, the GP insisted my DF agreed. My DF was furious he told the GP that my DM could do whatever she wanted with her body and it was disgraceful that he was being asked!
She was pregnant at the time and they agreed to do after the birth and it wasn’t a CS.

I would love for my husband to have a vasectomy. He won't even discuss it. Neither of us want another child (we have 3, we're 40+, mentally at capacity and physically my body would struggle with another pregnancy and birth)
I won't go back on hormonal contraception.
So we're currently at loggerheads.

Honestly don’t see what the downside is here. So many children let down by men going on to have second families, perhaps if people didn’t see children as medals to be collected across relationships we would have better mental health amongst our young.

Oh god, I’m so jaded at this point that I kind of think they should all have to have vasectomies and when they have proved that they have the necessary qualities to be a decent parent, they can get a reversal.
I know it’s a childish response to a serious issue but I have about had it with their false incompetence, emotional immaturity and general fecklessness and I’m turning into man-hating harpie.

Suppose the only downside is if they get divorced, meet someone new who wants children but reversal doesn’t work. There will be cases where this happens I’m sure and that must be difficult. If they’re absolutely certain they’d never want to have another child, even in those circumstances then they absolutely should. My DH did after our youngest was born and it’s great not to have to worry about pregnancy and contraception anymore.

Trying to get tubal ligation was a challenge. Male consultant- all the usual things -
What if you get divorced? What if a child dies? etc etc.
It really pissed me off that a male thought he knew better than I did. I had to be very definite and direct with him. I wanted it done whilst I was having another gynae procedure so I saved the NHS money. 🤷‍♀️

I didn't realise it could stop eventually but it's been 14 years now and no sign of it abating. Not much they can do for it either

And yeah DH had.post vasectomy pain. Thankfully after 3 years it stopped and is now very very occasional.

We did make the decision together, and DH decided on the vasectomy for several reasons:

• lower failure rate
• lower risk of complications
• not needing a GA
• faster recovery
• easier to access

Hormonal contraception which I'd been on very happily and successfully for 20 years stopped working for me, I was bleeding constantly and changing my pill had no impact. I was recommended the IUD but advised it would be at least 6 months more of bleeding before we could see if it was working and I didn't fancy that.