Ghosted by successful job applicant

We recruited someone a few years ago. He accepted the job offer and was going through vetting then everything went very quiet. Eventually we got a call from his son who'd been going through his emails after he'd died unexpectedly, noticed we'd been trying to contact him and thought he should let us know. 😔

He got a better offer.

Seriously? This is a chat board not a court of law. You need to get a grip.

Maybe he died?

Employers ghost job applicants all the time.

I experienced this 15 years ago and was absolutely shocked someone would do this. I've had more than one job offer at a time on more than one occasion and have never messed people about.

Not sure hiding everything, using a circumstantial ad hominem and other fallacies not supported by any information available, and ironically being so emotional over a stranger criticising what appears to be an issue in what you said that you then sound very young, is the amazing comeback and hit to me you think it is.

I stand by everything I said. More so from this latest post and behaviour, that matches exactly what I thought.

If I am wrong, you can be happy in that knowledge and carry on as though I dont exist.

I've asked for my posts to be deleted on this thread because after sharing an anecdote about something that happened to me many years ago I've been jumped on by @nevernotmaybe who is calling me a liar, when actually I suspect she just doesn't recognise my experience of work because she's been involved in a completely different sector and was maybe even still at school when the situation I described happened. In coming to my own defence I've probably overshared, hence the deletion request. This sort of crap really spoils mumsnet for everyone so I am over and out on this thread. Sorry that I have been prevented from contributing to your discussion @WWLD- wishing you all the best and hoping that you didn't take being ghosted personally.

This happened in a couple of places I've worked. I always assumed they'd had a better offer and didn't want the awkwardness of telling us.

It is so rude when it happens though.

I worked in hospitality when my kids were teeny and we even had people show up for their first shift, eat the staff dinner and then fuck off 😂. So rude!

So which is it, was this person at the other job actually in a position to know so just breaking the law sharing that information at all to anyone? Or was it a random person who worked there, who wouldn't have any idea one way or another for certain, regardless of what they heard or even what the person told them (they could have handed in their notice, and told people they didn't).

Either way worthless information, one from a source that can't be trusted by definition due to that behaviour. And taking that as fact is poor from your company as well.

Also doesn't add up. You don't sign a contract in the day you start, to be able to not turn up at that point.

You did let them know though, so that’s all they needed from you.

Your reasons are your own and you don’t have to divulge them.

If someone doesn’t want to join our business I don’t need detailed reasons. Just some contact to let me know. And I wouldn’t even expect a call as I know some people may feel uncomfortable calling if they think they’ll get quizzed. Just an email or a text is good enough, so that I know and can communicate that to the hiring manager and payroll/HR team.

Internal Recruiter here 🙋🏽‍♀️

I’ve had this happen quite a few times over the years.

I think more often than not, people change their minds or accept another job offer and just don’t have the guts to tell you. Although I have had a couple who genuinely did have something happen and they were extremely apologetic. And if we were able to reconsider them we did.

Usually I’ll contact them to ask if everything is ok and if they could update me. And then I leave it at that and re-advertise the role (and yes I’ve had the same person re-apply for the role, which I always find quite strange).

It’s super frustrating after all the time put in with the recruitment process. Nothing you can do about it though.

This happened in a previous workplace. Turned out the woman’s house had caught fire, everything was destroyed and her brother died. After a month or two she got in touch to apologise, she was told it wasn’t too late and started about six months later. She was great.

Why did you feel the need to check? She'd told you her reason.

I've known someone who does something similar to this - he enjoys interviews and goes to them all the time and loves to prove that he can 'get any job he wants' and if he is successful he ghosts them. Awful man.

I had to withdraw from a job offer after all of the tests and checks. I felt REALLY bad about it, but i did at least let them know. I wasn't completely truthful about the reason though.

Basically i had a massive panic attack and finally realised that the last thing i needed was to take on another full time job sorting out an IT systems change and departmental reorganisation - with 3 young kids at home, my Dad just being diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my MIL going into a care home. After reflecting on it i have no idea why i was pushing myself like that, it took a strong talking to by my GP for me to realise i needed to step back, not push forwards.

I ended up talking to an old boss and taking a part-time role in with a more routine brief for a couple of years. I still feel bad about dropping that employer, it was a great role for me under different circumstanses and i would have fitted it really well, it just wasn't the right time sadly. I suppose it's better to turn it down at that stage then get balls-deep in job and have a messy break down.

Could be anything from he got sick to his old job made a better offer, he decided to be a sahd,he decided to become a teacher/ nurse/ carer …

Should have offered them what they are clearly worth, their current job new to do so. Sounds like you were playing them with not good enough wages, we are all losing tears for you.

I once hired someone for a “rare opportunity” kind of role that people are desperate to get. She made it very clear at interview she was a single parent. Offered job. She was a no-show. Turned out she was a serial discrimination claimant and we screwed up her plans by actually offering the job and not discriminating on the basis of her being a woman / single parent 😵‍💫

I think there’s a massive rise in people doing this kind of shit in the workplace. I hear it all the time and have been ghosted myself in various ways.

I do wonder if the combination of being online a lot and all the wfh in the pandemic have resulted in a kind of collective loss of manners. People think ‘well I don’t HAVE to explain/reply/show up if I don’t want to’, and then just don’t.

It’s pretty awful and I sense people are more cynical and distrusting of others in my industry certainly.

They obviously got a better offer elsewhere!? Maybe even a huge life change like moving abroad and not needing the job anymore