Friend let’s her 13yo son stay out till late.

9.30 curfew is fine. 5.30 is not. What does your DD think of thar curfew?
The missing episodes are very concerning but it won't be due to a 9.30 curfew.

Depends where my kids are and what they are doing.

I'm happy for them to be out around our local area until after 9:30 and don't mind them being out round here after dark with friends

If they want to be further afield, then the general rule is at a friends house or an activity once dark and I'd usually pick them up

But seems this kid doesn't respect boundaries if they keep going missing until early hours so thats a whole other conversation and issue

I'd say year round 7.30/8pm is more reasonable for an 13 year old so I don't disagree that her curfew is a bit late but yabu because it's not your place to comment and you commented at a time she was worried sick as her 13 year old had not returned home til.1.30am so you deserved the earful you got. She's got bigger problems than the time of curfew right now.

There are two different things here. One is the curfew time. For what it's worth, 9.30 doesnt sound that late.
But then he's missing his curfew and she's calling the police. That's the bit to focus on.

But if you're not friends then it's really nothing to do with you anyway.

Your child doesn’t get out past tea time.

I think you are the outlier and not your ‘friend’.

It’s fine but his behaviour re police is not.

21:30 sounds fine to me.

I’m actually thinking your curfew is rather early. Doesn’t your child do any activities?

It doesn’t matter what the curfew is really as he doesn’t come😂 Its not really any of your business

9:30 on a Saturday night is not "out until late" for a 13 year old. It's about right.

My 13 year old has a curfew of 9 on a weekend. All his friends have similar time. Hes never once been late. I dont think 9.30 is the issue, but him taking the piss is.

9:30 is a bit on the late side but nothing crazy or neglectful. It doesn't sound like he'd come back whatever time his curfew was anyway.

I think I'd be a bit annoyed if I was your friend and you started criticising when you knew everything else that was going on. His curfew is really not the issue here.

The curfew is fine.

Lecturing a worried parent in that moment is not.

At 13 my kids often took themselves to sports training/scouts/cadets which usually finished at about 9 or 9:30 and they’d walk home usually getting back for 10.

5:30 is quite early for a 12/13 year old - does she not do guides/cafets/egc?

it sounds more like the issue with your friends child is him staying out until 1sm not the curfew

Her curfew doesn’t sound that bad to me. The fact that he doesn’t come home and has to be brought back by the police, however, does.