to be sick of silent DH during meals?

Some of these posts are strange.

Dinner parties, dinner dates, meals out with friends - these things exist in our society because conversation over food is normal, meals aren’t just about consuming food.

Some people don’t find social situations easy, but you do need to make an effort.

(I really wouldn’t have married a man who had no conversation over dinner.)

Well I think OP is more exasperated than actively disliking him, and exasperation often leads to resentment which is turn can lead to dislike.
Teaching children to be quiet over mealtimes feels like the Victorian equivalent of ‘Children should be seen and not heard’ I thought that was widely condemned by society now? Humans are social animals and the ability to communicate well is an essential skill which will enable you to succeed and have a much better quality of life overall than a reclusive lifestyle (I am sure for some people being a recluse is absolutely fine and their happy place, but this is generally the exception rather than the rule).
In OPs case, her husband is either exhausted and can’t find the energy for talking, or is a selfish bastard, who thinks everything home and child related is under OPs jurisdiction and he gets to zone out and think his own thoughts in peace, no effort on his part needed. The fact he gets pissed at OP when she mentions it, makes me hypotheses it’s the latter. If it’s the former then I’d suggest making mealtime family time on days dh isn’t working, when he’s had time to recalibrate and have some downtime, and a bit of headspace for general chitchat, If it’s the ‘selfish bastard’ angle, well divorce is probable on the horizon as I otherwise OP is stuck in a lonely marriage, and once her kids have upped and gone, she’ll be bereft of any real company.

What, that he wouldn't do any parenting during meals? Unless they already had kids before getting married, no, she didn't know that.

I always struggled to get up in the morning before having kids. Does that mean I could have unilaterally opted out of the early mornings and morning school runs because my husband 'knew about this when he chose to marry me'? Of course not.

He won't change so leave him to eat with them on his own sometimes.
His comfort is more important to him than engaging with his children during meal time.
Poor behaviour.

She knew about this when she chose to marry him.

That sounds miserable, I would really hate that. Glad your kids haven't copied him.

It's not an either or!!! Perfectly possible to sustain a conversation between mouthfuls you know, without offending anyone. I hate lip smacking and slurping noises too but have usually found people over the age of about 5 can learn how to not do that but still join in a sociable conversation round the table.

Food is supposed be enjoyed.
Mealtimes are supposed to be enjoyed, this involves food and company. I don't think there is anything particularly normal about eating in complete silence.

YANBU. For me one of life’s pleasures is to go out and eat and that involves conversation. If we take the kids we take uno or top trump cards to keep us occupied while we wait for the food, and we chat about other things too. It’s just our way of doing things. I meet friends for dinner and a conversation too as does my husband. Doesn’t your husband go out to eat with friends?

You don't like him very much, do you?
Maybe teach your child to be quiet during meals, as well.

I remember an ex I dated for a while once talked through an entire Sunday lunch. Everyone else (four other people) had finished and cleared their plates while he rattled on - his was still full and basically untouched!!

Dinner time is primarily time to eat, although you can talk a little. You can talk properly at the table over a drink afterwards. You can talk properly at the table before your food arrives.

Personally, I'm not going to let my food go cold in the name of conversation. There is plenty of other time to talk.

It feels like there are varying extremes and then a happy medium.

Totally silent even when a response is clearly called for - not ok

Monologuing on and on, or expecting others to reply constantly even with a mouth full, or talking with a mouthful yourself - also not ok

Varying degrees of talking a bit, or a certain amount of companionable silence, answering any questions from DC and generally acting as part of a family - part of the happy medium range

I agree 100%

Isn't it normal in most cultures that be eating together is a social thing? When I was a child we all ate together in the evening and it was when we all got a chance to discuss our day and what had happened at school/work. Thankfully DH was the same so when we had DC we tried to do the same as soon as they were old enough to sit at the table.

There is just DH and I at home now for most of the time but meal times are still a shared and sociable affair - breakfast, lunch and dinner. We also like to eat out fairly often, even if it is just a lunch and it would be bizarre to sit in silence.

I am guessing @Bubblewrappery that when you and your DH were dating you didn't go out for many meals? I mean, If you did they can't have been much fun.

If that's how you are doing it you are doing it wrong. You take a bite, chew, swallow talk a little bit. Take another bite, chew, swallow, talk and so on. You don't sit there spraying food across the table.

Maybe he finds it annoying that others are chatting around the table when he’s trying to eat his meal?

Agree with this, are your dc wanting conversations or are they talking AT you and just having non stop monologues?

My DH talks non stop. Very long monologues often about varying subjects. If we are eating he will continue to talk. Even with his mouth full of food and ask me questions. I have to say to him. I can’t talk at the moment because I have a mouth full of food. Sometimes I try to answer him and bite the inside of my mouth. So I have to be quite rude and point to my mouth when I’m eating. I do find it stressful. I’m happy to talk but I can’t when I eat

Heard of the eat with mouth closed, who wants to see food in your mouth. I couldnt think of anything worse than chatting whilst eating, all the lip smacking noises. Food is supposed be enjoyed. Can chat after the meal

He sounds weird OP YANBU.

My friend is like your DH and it's because her father, a horrible, domineering, violent drunk forbade any discussion at the dining table. She's in her 50s now but it has stayed with her all her life. It's utterly ingrained.

Don't invite him out for meals and let him sort out his own food at home until he learns to behave like a grown up. What's it like to live with him apart from at meal times?

Has he really always been like this though? It sounds lonely to me.
what about when you were dating? Did you not go out for dinner a lot, just the two of you? Surely he spoke to you then?

Well thank god for your chatterbox DC. Once they are grown and have flown the nest you will have decades sharing meals with your silent H. I think you will really miss it. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine going out to dinner with my H and then just sit in silence whilst we eat, but I do sometimes see those couples and I assume they have nothing at all in common basically. Or that they have had an argument.

Stop cooking for him.

There has to be a consequence to his behaviour.

Some of the responses here are so bizarre. It’s completely normal to chat over a family meal. If the OP’s husband wanted to eat in silence forevermore then he shouldn’t have had children.

I would leave things as they are. Eating in silence is his habit, and I think you need to accept it and try not to be annoyed.
DH is much the same, although he will respond if I start the conversation.