To think that real life sex isn’t like TV?

I agree, like not daily, there isn't the time but semi regularly having really involved sex that's an hour or 2 long and when we were in our 20s it was several times a week and fairly mind-blowing. Are people just having rubbish sex?

Weird isn't it?

I DO like long, slow sessions, preferably in the morning and I have a very attentive husband who will put in an inhuman effort to get me excited. We regularly have sex for over an hour, or we did pre kids. Now we try to fit in sessions like this but have found this led to long droughts as we just lacked time with 2 small kids so we've learnt to have more efficient quickies in between. Keeps us connected, more manageable and occasionally it's literally a 10 minute quickie when we wake before the kids but know the alarms going off soon. The quickies have actually been really relationship saving because we were down to about once a week or once a fortnight for ages and both wanted it more. Now we have the very good sex about that often and a couple of quickies in between. We've been together 19 years. We've had plenty of bridgerton worthy sex in that time.

But when I was dating, I was also roadtesting men to see if we were sexually compatible. Better do that early on than to start falling for someone before discovering he was terrible or selfish in bed, or that we had incompatible kinks. So I slept with everyone virtually immediately.

The Daphne Simon sex scene that had me most bemused was when they were having sex on concrete!

You know when they ran outside during dinner in order to have sex, and he initially had her pushed up against a statue of some sort and then it started to rain and so then they rain into some kind of covered archway and started having sex on the concrete floor?

I’m sorry but how is having sex on concrete in any way comfortable or enjoyable in the way Daphne made it look? 🤣🤣

I find it uncomfortable on the floor even with my nice carpet and rugs, never mind cold rough concrete and stones 🤣

Mind you….. maybe it would be different if I was with the Duke of Hastings and not my DH… 🤣

To be completely honest, I don’t think it’s far fetched at all!

It isn’t titillating in the slightest. I fast forward all those scenes.

I am at some sort of hormonal stage at the moment where I'd be happy to never go near anyone else's genitals again.

It's not that I hate sex, in the past I've had amazing sex, I've had terrible sex, it's more just that I've zero desire for it at the moment. Maybe it will pass. Who knows.

But watching Bridgerton it made me remember those moments of sexual anticipation where you can wait to get to each other, or the deep love and comfort of sex with someone you live with. I still don't want it for myself right now, but I don't think it's bad TV or completely unrealistic.

I did cringe at Benedict with his fingers on the stairs though. I've seen others saying they loved watching that but it made me cringe so much! I also laughed at the faking of the pinnacle "oh John!" and him saying you don't have to pretend. 🤣

I was with my (recently separated from) partner for 12 years and we had this type of sex right up until the end! Obviously sometimes it would be a lazy quickie, especially in the morning.

Unfortunately he is an extremely toxic individual and I think (KNOW) without the strong attraction we'd have split much sooner. Now I'm worried I won't ever get the same again! So perhaps my example isn't a good one 😂

All men are porn addicted perverts if they even mention sex or send a flirty, cheeky message. The level of ick most mners claim to get is ridiculous.

Sure, and that’s fine - people should wait as long as they want, of course. Nobody should feel pressured. I’m talking about when someone says “He asked if I wanted to go back to his on date two” and a bunch of people immediately say “Ew, ditch him, he’s a perv who only wants one thing” as if it’s a crime to ask.

Good post, agree

Surely that’s got nothing to do with farting during sex. I wondered if it was a physical/medical issue and I wouldn’t find it very funny if my children came in and caught me at it!

Agree to some extent .

On OLD though, there is the problem of men lying about wanting a relationship to get a ONS. So some delay sex to test.

Yes I thought that!

I was very hmmm I’ve seen a lot of tv sex but first time this has been on’

I’m all for bawdy humour but I do find it really weird that so many women on Mumsnet seem to think that actually liking sex, or finding men’s bodies attractive, or being turned on by anything at all other than their partner doing their share of the housework, just isn’t for naice women.

So, so many women on here have the weirdest attitude to sex and talk about it like some sort of gift they reluctantly bestow on their partner because ‘men have needs’, as if no woman could possibly actually have needs of her own. It’s bizarre. People seem to get actively offended by a man they’re dating appearing to hint at sex early on, as if it’s weird and perverted to actually fancy someone you’ve actively decided to date.

So it’s not the bawdy humour I object to at all, but more all the ‘rather have a cup of tea / ewww penises, gross / it’s just a load of grunting and puffing / yuk it’s all too messy for me / he’s a disgusting sex pest if he suggests stopping co-sleeping with a toddler in order to regain an adult relationship with his wife’ kind of thing that I find depressing.

It’s as if half of Mumsnet is horrified at the idea that women might just enjoy sex for its own sake.

"Ooh, your grace, you take the damp patch tonight. Miggins, give my lord the penis beaker".

It's why so many men are lazy in bed. Along with porn. They think all they have to do is stick it in.

The worst thing about most British women (and yes, I am one) which makes me cringe...

..is how quickly they have to descend to bawdy humour when talking about sex.

We can't just say we enjoy proper, slow, mindblowing passion.

Well I do, but I find if I ever dared try and talk about that to British females, they would cringe and instead want to talk about

• My DH farts when he cums
• We nearly knocked off the vase because I couldn't turn quickly enough
• Who has time for all that huffing and puffing? a quickie does me fine thanks
• Kids always interrupting so can't be bothered any more

Etc etc..

It's like a competitive "we don't have sex really, who wants THAT" kind of thread, every single time on here.

Or if they are having sex, they immediately point out all their DH's lumps, flaws or whatever, just in case anyone thinks they're being properly fucked in a really passionate, desired way!

I don't get it.

Why does everything have to be seaside postcard, Benny Hill level when it comes to sex??!

Me too! Given his exploits in the last series I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen 😂

The fact that on TV women start climaxing within seconds of a man entering them and with no clitoral stimulation does my head in. Especially when it's supposed to be their first time!

true!😂

The first few months of a relationship should be pretty wild
Fast forward a few years......"hurry up and finish George, I want to read my book" 😂😂

I’ve certainly had sex as enjoyable and passionate and exciting as that. But obviously it isn’t a) choreographed by a director to look perfect for an audience or b) accomplished in the tiny amount of time allocated for an available for a scene in a TV show.

It’s perfectly possible to have incredible sex while also occasionally having to move positions because you’ve got cramp in your hip or someone having to pick a pubic hair out of their mouth or something. Those things aren’t a big deal to me and certainly not a mood-killer.

I don’t know what the hell a ‘cup and waddle’ is for.

Exactly what I was going to say. No foreplay, no lube, just frenzied pumping.

I’ve definitely had the most amazing mind blowing sex without ever farting during it 😂