To think that real life sex isn’t like TV?

I'm wondering if I was also on the thread you're talking about because there's been a couple of threads where I've been stunned by the outright fury on some threads over the very notion that any woman might enjoy one or two specific (entirely consensual and harmless!) sex acts.

It’s not nice that young women should feel pressured into any sex act at all and of course anal or anything that carries ‘risk’ should be undertaken with care to be enjoyable.

What’s also not nice is for women to come on here and be called ‘gross’, ‘disgusting’ or have their sexual partners labelled as control freaks etc because they enjoy it. I was once on a thread and a comment was made regarding a certain sex act that I like to give to my partner and the name calling surrounding it was disgusting they may as well have been calling women who enjoy it ‘dirty slags’. It infuriates me.

Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women | Sexual health | The Guardian https://share.google/lnTJyCMyhHUME7dWX

Anal is actually not great for women though as we are way more sensitive there than men. We are seeing a lot more women having problems with incontinence etc

Not denigrating anyone who understands the risks and wants to go ahead nonetheless but it's not good to see young women thinking it's expected.

Bloody hell.
people who say stuff like this, don’t understand what sex is truly about. It’s not something neat and tidy where we need to behave as we do in normal daily life.
It’s a time to shut the door on the world, put normal daily behaviour aside and just enjoy yourself. Eg in life there is no way I’ll let a man put his hands on me forcefully. During sex though I love it. People have to let go of hangups and let the flesh fly, make noise, say filthy things, mix bodily fluids together and have no shame. And not make others feel bad for enjoying themselves. Nothing is degrading if we want it.

There was a thread recently where the OP’s husband had told her she was ‘degrading’ herself by suggesting a different position during sex and said ‘we’re not doing that because you’re not a slut’. I was absolutely gobsmacked by the number of people in the replies saying ‘Well, it’s good that he doesn’t think you’re a slut, surely?’ and ‘You were unreasonable to suggest a new position during sex, I’d want a partner to discuss it with me beforehand in a non-sexual situation’ and ‘Presumably you WERE asking for something degrading though, he was doing you a favour to say no’. I mean… WTAF?

The responses would have been insane if even if she’d been talking about something kinky, but she’d literally just suggested a different position to missionary.

Absolutely. It’s so small minded. I wish women would support each other more. I don’t give a damn what someone is into as long as they enjoy it (and it’s legal!)

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Yes, also anything that could be bracketed under ‘kink’ is always immediately dismissed as something gross pervy yucky men want, and if a woman says they’re into it, they get told they’re trying to be a ‘pick me / cool wife’, or that they’ve been brainwashed by the male gaze, or that they have low self-esteem, or are being coerced, or are just fundamentally broken individuals.

Ha brilliant post @Disturbia81 and completely agree.

Yes there’s always negative comments about anal. And aghastness that women can really enjoy it. It’s defensiveness because they know their husbands want it but they don’t want to do it so they start projecting about it and making women feel odd for loving it.

Yep- I have seen exactly these replies 😆

Or, in a thread where someone asks how often people have sex, if any woman says its more than the "acceptable" answer of twice a month they get told they are clearly lying, bragging, must have pervert husbands, etc
Like it's simply impossible for a woman to enjoy or want regular sex.

Of course, all the people scoffing "oh I'd far rather have a cup of tea" or "I can't be doing with all of that messy nonsense" never get accused of "lying" or "bragging".

No, not just anal although if you mention enjoying anal you could either be a man or you’ve just been coerced into it - you can’t possibly enjoy it! I was called a man (and then when I responded that I was absolutely not a man she responded with ‘whatever you say, Man’!) because I said I don’t put life admin/housework/sleep/etc above my sex life! I’ve been called a man in the last 3 weeks when I’ve said I don’t connect sex with love. The funniest ‘you must be a man’ comment was after I said I enjoy wearing lingerie at times. It’s insane that so many women on Mumsnet simply can’t grasp that we’re not all the same.

Not sure if this is simply sarcasm or you're also missing the point. Pretend it's different attire and language, that's what OP is asking.

I always have sex in a powdered wig and insist DH wears knee breaches and talks to me like a character in a Jane Austen novel. So I think it’s very accurate.

Only because they want to tell the OP, with zero evidence, that he must be a porn addict and she should leave him. Whereas when the woman isn’t up for it, there’s a chorus of replies telling her the husband’s a sex pest who needs to have a wank instead (but only alone, in the bathroom, at night, when neither his wife or kids are in the house, and not while looking at porn or attractive women on Instagram, and not while thinking about his wife because that would be objectifying her, and not using any sort of sex toy, and only if he then has a shower and scrubs the whole bathroom in bleach immediately afterwards).

Do you mean anal? People are generally supportive of oral, different positions from what I've seen.

I'm not sure. In threads where the DH goes off sex many people affirm that sex is important.

This really made me giggle 🤣

Omg I am laughing!

And now I realise just how much I want to get back with my ex 😫

If I take the ones from this season:

• sneaking off to shag during a big family event;
• getting fingered in a stairwell;
• hand stuff in the bath;
• not having an orgasm;
• Anthony going down on Kate;
• dressing up in something nice (go on Violet)
• faking an orgasm and getting called out on it.

I'd say people definitely are having these types of sex! I've done them all bar the stairwell (and even that is a maybe, I was a feral teenager). But even then, if you look at the season 1 montages - they weren't doing anything particularly wild, it was just passionate mostly? Which I would hope most people are experiencing...

And even then, I think they're fairly realistic - Daphne in S1 with the duke not wanting to finish inside her (okay, his reasoning was a bit weird but it's not uncommon if you're gambling with the natural family planning or whatever); Sophie this season asking him to go slowly; etc. I think they do a decent job of showing the stuff around the passion!

I was also called a man hater on the same day. Oh well, can’t win them all.

I couldn’t agree more, nothing turns my stomach more than a MN sex thread 🤢 I can’t even picture the kind of men these posters have sex with 🤮 Talking about farting and “pumps”?! Ewww.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣