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Original poster

I’ve just completely lost it with my daughter

506 replies

imsoverytired82 · 28/02/2026 23:44

I’ve just completely lost it with my 11 year old daughter

I’ve been so stressed this week. I’ve got issues at work and I haven’t slept

my daughter has been nagging all week about her world book day outfit. She’s asked so many times despite me telling her I’d ordered it. It arrived today and she’s still asking for more for it even though I’d said to her I can’t afford any more. Now she’s onto football boots (she’s had 1 session) and keeps asking. She is autistic so deep down I know she can’t help it. once she gets what she wants she’s onto the next thing.

its 11 and I finally got into bed and went into a deep sleep.My first in ages. She’s shouting my name lying in bed saying I need to take her to buy boots.

i wake up startled and go mad at her an drag her out of bed. Say some really horrible things to her. Scream at her. I’m so so sick of her just constantly not being satisfied until she’s getting something. It’s almost that she doesn’t care what it is as long as she’s getting something.

im so sick because she doesn’t care about anything other than ‘getting’.

OP posts:
Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 21:15

Andouillette · 01/03/2026 21:12

If you had bothered to read OP's posts you would have seen that her DD is much happier in the less pressured environment of the private school. But no, it's because she's 'keeping up with the Joneses'. What an utterly twisted take. Foul.

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Thank you.

I could keep up with the joneses with flash holidays or a brand new car.

How dare I spend it on a private school. It doe make me laugh.

OP posts:
Andouillette · 01/03/2026 21:12

Patchworkquilts · 01/03/2026 18:36

clearly making the wrong financial choices.
keeping up with the Jone’s or whatever her reason is for private school outweighs her kid’s real needs.

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If you had bothered to read OP's posts you would have seen that her DD is much happier in the less pressured environment of the private school. But no, it's because she's 'keeping up with the Joneses'. What an utterly twisted take. Foul.

Zoopet · 01/03/2026 21:02

Just wanted to send massive hugs to you op.
You're getting a lot of grief from some for daring to be human.

Luckyingame · 01/03/2026 20:55

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 18:29

That stuck out to me as well. Can’t afford anything but paying for private school seems rather odd to me.

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All of this.
I don't understand these "ODFOD" comments. It's a sad situation, but it still boils down to the OP being the adult, full stop. And sometimes that's hard.

gamerchick · 01/03/2026 20:18

WeekendTripHelp · 01/03/2026 20:04

OP. Try Social Services again and tell them what you did. It’s abuse and a sign you need support. They won’t see it as Child protection because you are wanting to change but they can refer you to parenting groups and courses.

Behave. SS won't be interested.

I don't really rate the NAS tbh but there are a load of groups on SM ran by parents who might be able to signpost you to somewhere local or even somewhere to let off some steam. We've all been in the same boat with our SN kids one way or another.

Theunamedcat · 01/03/2026 20:15

WeekendTripHelp · 01/03/2026 20:04

OP. Try Social Services again and tell them what you did. It’s abuse and a sign you need support. They won’t see it as Child protection because you are wanting to change but they can refer you to parenting groups and courses.

Parenting groups? Have you tried a star chart? Im sure you will be fine your the adult have you thought how your CHILD feels there needs arnt being met because you were asleep when they needed YOU

Look my friend did one of these they had her paying for archery lessons new clothing a fucking dog clothing FOR the dog chocolate pancakes for breakfast because she didn't want to eat breakfast dont force her to brush her teeth let her decide if she wants to brush her teeth it was ridiculous and unhelpful

LIZS · 01/03/2026 20:14

When did she change school to the private one and was that before or after diagnosis? Does dd2 also attend? Could you go back to the person who diagnosed and ask advice on local sources of support.

Theunamedcat · 01/03/2026 20:09

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:30

What’s funny?

I’m autistic.

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Your also an adult

AmandaBrotzman · 01/03/2026 20:06

imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:36

Not really. Bsck to our GP.

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You don't need to go to the GP to contact any of these services. What exactly do you expect the GP to do?

WeekendTripHelp · 01/03/2026 20:04

OP. Try Social Services again and tell them what you did. It’s abuse and a sign you need support. They won’t see it as Child protection because you are wanting to change but they can refer you to parenting groups and courses.

LIZS · 01/03/2026 19:54

And if ahe has only done one session of football, does she actually need boots yet and do you expect her to stick with it. Many give up organised activities at senior school and it is getting towards the end of season. I have a feeling there is a long list of abandoned fads. Maybe operate a one out, one in policy on “stuff” and hobbies. Sell outgrown or unwanted kit.

WallaceinAnderland · 01/03/2026 19:41

When she got the diagnosis, did you google it at all?

I'm struggling to understand how you've never heard of the NAS before today when your own child has been diagnosed with autism and you say that you also have a diagnosis of autism.

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:39

imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:38

The other posters comment. I’m choosing to ignore your comments as I’m not finding them very helpful.

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I’m sorry that you’re not finding them helpful.

i wish you well. I hope you can get help.

Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:38

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:30

What’s funny?

I’m autistic.

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The other posters comment. I’m choosing to ignore your comments as I’m not finding them very helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:36

WallaceinAnderland · 01/03/2026 19:31

I was never aware of those before today.

You weren't aware of The National Autistic Society?

When did your DD get her diagnosis and did they not signpost you to any agencies at all?

Not really. Bsck to our GP.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 01/03/2026 19:31

I was never aware of those before today.

You weren't aware of The National Autistic Society?

When did your DD get her diagnosis and did they not signpost you to any agencies at all?

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:30

imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:27

My thoughts exactly 🤣

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What’s funny?

I’m autistic.

Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:27

gamerchick · 01/03/2026 19:19

Fucking hell did someone hurt you today?

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My thoughts exactly 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:27

LIZS · 01/03/2026 19:16

Is your other dc older or younger? How do they feel about you indulging her demands? If your dd was at a state school you would find more support for ehcp and accessing support services. As it is there will be an assumption you can pay. Is she moving for senior? Why use I/my when you are part of a family unit? Do you qualify for DLA/PIP?

Younger. We make space for her.

its not true we would be eligible for more. We were in state for years. She’s gets more where she is.

OP posts:
TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:22

gamerchick · 01/03/2026 19:19

Fucking hell did someone hurt you today?

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Don’t you think the op could use help to disentangle why she is taking everything as being hers?

it would help her own mental health if she shared the load. And didn’t feel like everything was all on her.

gamerchick · 01/03/2026 19:19

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:04

It’s not even we. It’s not even about you and your husband. It’s all just you.

I think you would really benefit from some therapy for yourself.

Fucking hell did someone hurt you today?

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:17

imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:09

I’d home school her and give up work. She’d hate it as she’d miss her friends and her netball team which is her one outlet.

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Why is that your immediate thought and not state school with an ECHP?

LIZS · 01/03/2026 19:16

Is your other dc older or younger? How do they feel about you indulging her demands? If your dd was at a state school you would find more support for ehcp and accessing support services. As it is there will be an assumption you can pay. Is she moving for senior? Why use I/my when you are part of a family unit? Do you qualify for DLA/PIP?

Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:09

TheJaqual · 01/03/2026 19:03

It’s very telling that it’s you in your mind that gets the bursary.

if you couldn’t afford private school, why send her? What would you do if the bursary was withdrawn?

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I’d home school her and give up work. She’d hate it as she’d miss her friends and her netball team which is her one outlet.

OP posts:
Original poster
imsoverytired82 · 01/03/2026 19:07

scottishgirl69 · 01/03/2026 19:04

Because you've said it's in tatters - that's a pretty strong sweeping statement. Have you considered trying to claim DLA for her? If you don't already? It might help getting some support that she clearly needs

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Thanks I am waiting for a response for DLA but I’m not hopeful. I’ll just that for some therapy if I get it.
s

OP posts: