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AIBU?

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Original poster

To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

216 replies

probablynoted · 28/02/2026 19:54

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

OP posts:
HappyAsASandboy · 01/03/2026 18:18

You are not being unreasonable to sleep in while he parents his own child.

You would be crazy to have a baby with this man. He has already told you that he will expect you to do 100% of the baby care, and to care for his older child too “since you’re up/home anyway”.

Throw this one back. He is absolutely not a keeper.

ThiagoJones · 01/03/2026 18:17

BajaBaja · 01/03/2026 18:14

Because if the tone OP had in her post, it sounds like she’s not at all interested in this child. And children feel that. I am not saying her partner is right in the way he handled it.

Show quote history

I don’t get that impression at all. Her post was about a specific issue.

ThejoyofNC · 01/03/2026 18:15

Does anyone have a link to the previous thread?

BajaBaja · 01/03/2026 18:14

ThiagoJones · 01/03/2026 18:10

Why? Because his dad gets up with him in the morning rather than his dad’s girlfriend? Don’t you think he’d prefer to be spending that time with his dad?
There are many men who think it’s their child’s mother’s job to do all early morning wake ups, you see it all the time on here. Do you think those children feel unwelcome and unaccepted too?

Edited
Show quote history

Because if the tone OP had in her post, it sounds like she’s not at all interested in this child. And children feel that. I am not saying her partner is right in the way he handled it.

Mosman2020 · 01/03/2026 18:13

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 00:42

He doesn’t share them 50/50 with sons mum , he has his son every weekend.
I’m guessing he’s working all the weekdays aswel , so does he not deserve one lye in on a weekend morning?

No

Minnie798 · 01/03/2026 18:11

His approach to you is a red flag.
It sounds like he is saying that if you have a baby together, he'll be leaving you to do it all and focussing on his lie ins.
He's not 'lonely' because you are in bed until 830am, he begrudges you your lie in and resents that he's having to get up at 6am when you don't .
Having said that, if I had a partner with a 5 year old and was planning a family with him in the future, I'd probably get up at 6am sometimes to give him a bit of a lie in.

ThiagoJones · 01/03/2026 18:10

BajaBaja · 01/03/2026 18:08

That poor child probably doesn’t feel wanted or accepted into the relationship his dad is having.

Why? Because his dad gets up with him in the morning rather than his dad’s girlfriend? Don’t you think he’d prefer to be spending that time with his dad?
There are many men who think it’s their child’s mother’s job to do all early morning wake ups, you see it all the time on here. Do you think those children feel unwelcome and unaccepted too?

Jumpingthruhoops · 01/03/2026 18:09

ChristmasChroniclesBookFairie · 28/02/2026 19:56

I think it would be a massive mistake to have a baby with this man.

This! He's showing you who he is already. Believe him.

BajaBaja · 01/03/2026 18:08

That poor child probably doesn’t feel wanted or accepted into the relationship his dad is having.

HygerTyger · 01/03/2026 18:07

You've posted this before and received the exact same responses. Not sure what you're expecting different this time

Lollipop81 · 01/03/2026 18:05

No you’re not being unreasonable for not getting up, not at all. Although I do think I would probably babysit once in a while and maybe occasionally get up with his child to give him a break. But the absolute bulk of it lies with him.
he does sound like a child himself though and as others have said I would definitely be careful if you decide to have a child with him.

MyUsernameIsCake · 01/03/2026 17:51

ChristmasChroniclesBookFairie · 28/02/2026 19:56

I think it would be a massive mistake to have a baby with this man.

Totally agree with this - been there, living the solo parent life that I should have seen coming.

Find yourself a better one.

StephensLass1977 · 01/03/2026 14:42

You've posted this before. What was wrong with the advice you got back then?

marcyhermit · 01/03/2026 14:40

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 00:42

He doesn’t share them 50/50 with sons mum , he has his son every weekend.
I’m guessing he’s working all the weekdays aswel , so does he not deserve one lye in on a weekend morning?

It's hard being a divorced parent. Sometime you don't get a lie-in even when you deserve one.

myglowupera · 01/03/2026 12:59

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 09:15

To be fair he has his son every weekend, there isn’t many men that have .

I just meant if OP was serious about this man, & they want to build a life together , well she will be a big part of his sons life aswel , I don’t see anything wrong with taking turns every Sat/Sun morning.
They will be in this together.

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The dad isn’t even in it though. He begrudgingly gets up for his existing child and has said he won’t be getting up if they have a shared child together. If they have a baby he won’t be getting up with his eldest anymore either.

I always find it puzzling when people tell the stepmum to be in it together, when there are dads like this. There is no “together” with men like this. And if they have a baby together then he will seize the opportunity to not do anything for his eldest anymore.

Uticary · 01/03/2026 10:35

Genuinely cannot see why any self respecting woman would remain with a man who has spelt out his intention to abuse her when she has his baby?

feelingalittlehorse · 01/03/2026 10:18

If you have a baby with this man, OP, believe you me, you’ll be up looking after your little one every day and therefore also looking after your step child when they are staying. As I’m sure this prince among men will suddenly decide there’s no point in you both being up. 🙄

Friendlygingercat · 01/03/2026 09:39

Friedrich Engels, working closely with Karl Marx, described the monogamous family structure under capitalism as being based on the "open or concealed domestic slavery of the wife.

JulieFerriersBoob · 01/03/2026 09:34

I know it’s slightly different as they were our children but we figured misery loves company so if there was an early riser we’d both get up.

CactusSwoonedEnding · 01/03/2026 09:31

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 09:15

To be fair he has his son every weekend, there isn’t many men that have .

I just meant if OP was serious about this man, & they want to build a life together , well she will be a big part of his sons life aswel , I don’t see anything wrong with taking turns every Sat/Sun morning.
They will be in this together.

Show quote history

That might have been true if the git hadn't clearly said that if OP has a child, he will consider that child 100% her responsibility and will expect her to deal solo while he has lovely long lie-ins, in tit-for-tat revenge for her not wanting to leap in to be his free chuldcare service.

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 09:15

nomas · 01/03/2026 01:12

It’s his kid? He needs to take care of his own kid?

Show quote history

To be fair he has his son every weekend, there isn’t many men that have .

I just meant if OP was serious about this man, & they want to build a life together , well she will be a big part of his sons life aswel , I don’t see anything wrong with taking turns every Sat/Sun morning.
They will be in this together.

BeeHive909 · 01/03/2026 01:33

You’ve posted this guy before although in the last thread you were pregnant. Either way I’m sorry but you are a blended family and clearly he’s with you 4 days a week it would be nice if you had family breakfast time maybe once a week.

nomas · 01/03/2026 01:12

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 00:42

He doesn’t share them 50/50 with sons mum , he has his son every weekend.
I’m guessing he’s working all the weekdays aswel , so does he not deserve one lye in on a weekend morning?

It’s his kid? He needs to take care of his own kid?

Missj25 · 01/03/2026 00:42

He doesn’t share them 50/50 with sons mum , he has his son every weekend.
I’m guessing he’s working all the weekdays aswel , so does he not deserve one lye in on a weekend morning?

IndigoBluey · 01/03/2026 00:40

myglowupera · 28/02/2026 20:01

I think that other poster has described him perfectly.

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Completely agree. Why would you be getting up to be looking after his son?

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