To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

I think this relationship is a mistake.

Me, too!

So I was in a similar position to you, we had my now DSS every other weekend. I'm an early riser so generally woke up with them, but I'm pretty sure unless I was off out on an early walk or something I would make a coffee and go back to bed to read or something. Now I have my own kids I remember those mornings very fondly as they're a few years off returning 😂
My now DH never said a thing, I would have been a bit dumbfounded if he did. He quite enjoyed those lazy mornings 1-1 with his son before we got up and dressed and out for the day.

Sounds like your partner doesn't want to shoulder the responsibility for his own child

In that thread, the man had a daughter and i think the daughter was younger 3 yrs..4yrs.
I can't find the thread, so not sure if it is the same username but the stories are almost exactly the same.

Do not have a child with this man baby!!! Lonely indeed. His kid, his problem. And his ex is laughing with the amount of time the child is with the dad. Again, his choice.

Hes looking for a servant/slave

Op he’s a cheeky bastard it’s his son not yours just tell him you work hard all week and you deserve a lie in. He is controlling op he can ask you if you will get up or look after him but not dictate god help your dc if you have one.

Whatever you do don’t have a baby with this man . He is not the boss of you and can’t dictate when you get out of bed. You also are not responsible babysitting his son when he fancies a night out .We will probably find out further down the line that you’re paying all the bills because it’s your house.

@arethereanyleftatall
Because for some people being in a relationship - no matter how awful - is better than being single.

Why, on earth, would anyone stay in a relationship as awful as this?

He's taking the fkn piss. His child, his work. Please don't have one with him.

There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out.

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

He already sees you as the bangmaidnanny and makes it clear he's mad when you don't get with his plan and do his work. He's literally told you what will happen if you have a baby with him. He thinks you're there to do the childcare. You'd be very foolish to have a baby with him when he's already mad you don't parent his kid and he's said he'll be leaving you to do the work of you have one. The picture he's painted of your future is quite clear.

How lucky you are @probablynoted to see how monumentally shit he would be as a comparent BEFORE YOU SADDLE YOURSELF WITH HIS KID

End it. This isn’t going to work out.

I’ve read all of your posts, and am I wrong in thinking he wants you to get up with them not instead of him? So he just doesn’t want to be alone as opposed to him being jealous that you’re still sleeping? It’s a little childish I guess, but you’ve lived together for 2 years and been together longer still, you’d think you’d have bonded enough to want to spend some time with DSS and let DP sleep in on
occasion assuming he’s otherwise a good partner/father?

DH isn’t my DDx2 father but sometimes if he sees I’m tired he will tell me to sleep in and he’ll do breakfast instead of us all waking up.
He leaves our baby sleeping next to me until he wakes then takes him down too, then I’m left to wake up naturally. It’s really lovely to be looked after and I appreciate the sleep.

IMO it’s an odd dynamic to get together with a man who has a 1-3yo and majority custody if you have no intention of having any sort of parental role? However, I seem to be in the minority!

@probablynoted I don’t think she is coming back

Run for the hills!

LTB. I’m serious.

He's with Dad Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, so Primary residence is with Dad? Yanbu to not get up at 6.30. Mine would be told to play quietly in their room or cuddle in bed with me at that time of a weekend, and it would be up to DH if he got up with them.

But I think yabu in that it sounds like you don't really see this little boy as part of your family. His Dad has primary care of him. He sees you more than his Mom. The reality is it's never normally a simple strory when Dad has primary care, so I think I'd be doing what I could to help make him feel secure and treating him like my own as much as I could. Which includes the odd night putting them down to bed whilst the OH goes out.

Don’t have a baby with this idiot. Why are you still with him are you shacked up at his house or something? If you have a baby and then split up (which you will because he’s a twat) he’ll go for 50/50 custody to avoid giving you any maintenance, then he’ll dump your kid with some random woman as much as possible.

Get rid of him, poster who said he is looking for a ‘nanny with a Fanny’ has got it right

No, you shouldn’t get up with them. He should see this as a good opportunity to spend one on one time with his child.

I really like my step mum and I’ve always liked her, but I used to have a riot getting up with my dad in the morning. We would watch cartoons and have coco pops (my mum and step mum would never have allowed coco pops). Sometimes we would make her breakfast or go to the park and bring her something back. It was very fun. He got up with me before him and my mum got divorced as well so I think the continuation of that routine helped.

Don’t have a baby with this man is my gut instinct.

@probablynoted id tell
him he would be getting no lay ins if you have a baby . As he has one child already he has to always be up for and then he would have the new baby to get up equal for so when does he think it would get a lay in?

Once again do not be having a Baby or tub this man . Infact once again I’d be telling him to move out .

Yip 1000%

Agree

Came on to say this