Am I being unreasonable in my holiday requirements?

I had routine loving DC which was great as there were absolutely brilliant sleepers but I absolutely could not deviate from the routine. I did envy friends who could be more flexible with their DC regarding nap times and bedtime etc.
It’s swings and roundabouts.

Ha at children coping with different sleeping patterns. I thought that when I had one ‘easy’ child. Two and three were a different story. Kids always ‘cope’ but we parents had a miserable time with their screaming tiredness and refusal to sleep when it would have suited us.

One of my children fell asleep in a pram/ pushchair only once in her life - we prodded her to make sure she wasn’t dead!

Sometimes survival means sticking to sleep routine that works for a couple of years.

Hope you find accommodation that suits. As I said we always managed with Protur group or Barcelo.

Yess this. A balcony!! Or, if she's in a cot and you want to stay indoors for whatever reason, wheel it into the bathroom 😌

We got a 2 bed apartment in the Gran Oasis in tenerife, it was a 4* all inclusive but also an apartment with a lounge, 2 bedrooms and a kitchen..plus huge balcony. They also have 1 bedrooms and studio rooms..

And in answer to your question yes there is a gap in the market. And going direct to the travel agent isn't much help. The ones I've spoken to (jet2, tui etc) don't seem to have any more access on their computers than the customer does.

Drives me mad that they think a 16 year old will be happy sleeping in the living room on a sofa bed!

I came here to say the same! Lovely big 2 bed apartments

Otherwise (and I've spent many hours looking as I have the same issue) it's separate accommodation websites like airbnb, booking.com or vrbo. But they probably won't be AI

Sorry but taking a robe isn’t solving it.

I wouldn’t want to sit on a balcony all night in a robe on the shit uncomfortable furniture the hotel has put out there. And I definitely don’t want to do that every evening for a whole week.

We always stay in apartment hotels we can have the child in bed but full access to the rest of the space without tip toeing around, but I do agree with OP they are poorly planned out. One of us ends up sleeping with child in bedroom while the other gets the “kids” sofa bed in the lounge area.

Beginning of April is school holidays so your budget won’t stretch very far. Could you push it back to the end of April?

When my DC were younger we generally booked a one bed suite with the kids sleeping on the sofa bed in the living area or sometimes the hotel would put a zed bed for them in the living area. As they have become older, we usually go for adjoining rooms now so they have proper beds and their own bathroom. It basically doubles the price of the holiday though.

The Royal Hideaway Corales in Tenerife is amazing and we stayed in a two bed suite there which is basically a spacious two bed apartment with its own pool. Wasn’t cheap though.

I would suggest booking a 2 bed apartment with heated pool. Plus take a buggy. We ours were small we always self catered, gave them a snacky tea when we came up from the pool, had showers and put them in the buggy. Then when we ate later they could have some of ours or often would have a dessert. Sometimes they would doze in the buggy or look at their books( was pre- tablets). Still took the buggy up until they were over 4, you really don’t want to carry a tired toddler!
Have a look at Playa Blanca or Costa Teguise.

Since we've had our kids, we book our holidays through a travel agent as they have the knowledge on which hotels will suit and where. When we only had one child, we would book a suite with a balcony - the bed part usually stayed up throughout the day. Now that we have 2 kids, we look for hotels which have interconnecting bedrooms with a balcony.

Every hotel I’ve stayed at has options for family rooms with separate living rooms or 2 bed family rooms and I travel alot. But obviously bigger rooms come at a bigger cost

Green Garden Resort in Tenerife has a nice set up, has been about 7 years since we last went, but rooms were 2 bedroom with a bathroom and little kitchen area, plus balcony or terrace area. Not huge, but AI, food was good, good play area and smallish but decent pool. Was perfect when our daughter was 3.

Yeah we just leave the side bed out. But then we don’t really sit in our rooms at all when we’re there anyway so no issue.

and the single beds in the bedroom is usually 2 pushed together and made as one bed with the option to seperate. This seems pretty standard and totally fine IMO

We've stayed at sentido aequora suites in Lanzarote the bedroom doesn't have a full door but it's the other side of the bathroom and fast enough away from the main bedroom is a doorway sized entrance not an open plan, wet also had a ground floor room with a terrace so could leave the patio door open and sit outside in the evening. I wouldn't necessarily go AI though because the evening did is very typical mid range buffet and there are some lovely restaurants. We had a hire car and there was plenty to see and do we were half board so often we'd have a lovely lunch out and then eat a snack/tea from the evening buffet. It was pretty cheap to stay there so we didn't mind paying to eat out , bonus the pools were heated

You likely will need to go for a 1 bedroomed apartment with a sofa bed in the lounge. Your child sleeps in the bedroom, you and your husband on the sofa bed. Sit on the terrace or balcony in the evening. This is what we have done. Often in Greece, you will find studios that sleep 3 - the third bed is likely a sofa bed. Again it's a case of sitting on the terrace or balcony.

Hotel Fantasia in Tenerife has large family rooms with sliding doors to close off a bedroom. Beds are enormous. There's a splash park in the hotel that would be great for a 3yo. Food isn't the best I've had but not terrible.

Thats school holidays, can you go earlier?

Have a look at Princesa Yaiza in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote. It’s HB not AI but the food is really lovely.

We had a room which had a huge bedroom and then a separate lounge. Also really good for little ones although I haven’t visited out of season so can’t comment on their Winter concept.

But also, take a good pram. Put toddler in it! Enjoy the bar whilst he/she sleeps

You just need a family suite.

It's a quirk of the search facilty that you get this.
Hotels and tour operators assume families are happy using sofa beds in a living area. This is technically a one bedroom apartment to sleep four. What you actually want (and it costs more) is a two bedroom apartment that's capable of sleeping six but just using the two bedrooms and not the living room.

Try searching two bed apt for six people and you'll find where they are.
This is what we did until DC were old enough for their own room. You do pay more though.

Would your child sleep a bit in the day and stay up nice and late so you can be out at a family type venue in the evening? Mine used to when she was little.
The only other option is a balcony. Get a nice bottle of vino and some snacks to go back to the room with when she’s ready for bed.

I’ve booked GF Isobel in Tenerife for April, it was about £3k for a week all inclusive for our family of 4 (2 adults and a 5 and 3 year old), we’re staying in a 2 bed bungalow with kitchen facilities. Never been before but the reviews look promising and it looks great for kids. The kitchen facilities are a bonus with kids, I’m so over trying to wash cups in a bathroom sink and milk spoiling in a mini fridge!

I've never wanted to stay in hotels with DC. I would self cater so you have separate bedrooms and a lounge or garden for adult evening time. You can have your main meal out at lunchtime and prepare an easy light tea (bread and cheese, whatever) in your own kitchen with a bottle of wine - no-ne has to go anywhere and you can even spend the evening in PJs if you want. Much nicer!