To take ds to prison to visit his dad

I wouldn’t. Seeing you and his child gives other inmates things to use as leverage over him.

Speak to your health visitor.
Do you have a social worker? Speak to them.
Your son is very young and unlikely to fully understand who this person is he visiting.
Ask advice before you go
Your hv can refer you to local support

You only have his dad’s impression that your ex was distressed by the pictures. In reality he just asked his dad to not show him them he could simply not care.

you are young and vulnerable and right now your ex’s family seem to be the only support you have (other than here - clearly people here care about you). I’d say to the father that you’ve read prisons can be very upsetting for children and you think it’s best if they have their first meeting when your ex is free.

im sorry you are facing this. Have you spoken to social services or your council to see if they can help you at all

I don’t think it would be in the best interests of such a little child to go on a prison visit. Bonding at that age needs little and often. If grandad puts you under pressure and threatens your housing, I’d consider stopping his contact.

This 💯

Let her live in his house? Sorry but what part did she contribute towards his choice which landed him in prison?

I have been in prison visiting areas a lot. I am a solicitor and did my stint in crime,

The atmosphere is horrible . I remember it well over 2 decades on .

I would not take a child there.

A prison visitor hall is not a place for a child and personally I don’t think his dad should WANT his son to have memories of visiting a prison.

If you choose to agree to it, make sure it’s a family day visit where they can properly interact and he can actually get off his chair to play with his son

number 1 priority: your son’s needs
number 2 priority: yourself
number 3 or even lower: your ex

I feel a bit scared of your ex with his history of violence. It feels like there is a power imbalance between you and his family, since you rent at a low rate from his dad. Be really clear about your boundaries and expectations, that if you visit, it is in no way romantic and you are not going down that road again. It would be very generous of you to take your son and he’s probably too young to notice the environment. Be careful OP, sending you strength xx

There will be support in your area - google CAPO services (children affected by parental offending) for your area. What category prison is it?

I agree with a letter.

He may want a relationship with your DC now or when he's out. But you should probably give him the choice carefully to protect yourself from getting hurt.

Not all prisons do. Full blown fights can happen just feet from toddlers and prison staffing in visits halls isn't great.

I wouldn't OP sorry. Baby will be searched/nappy checked, too many variables and he will be young enough when dad comes out to have relationship with him. If you really wanted him to go then dont send him with someone else he will need his mum.

There are a range of advice and information leaflets for taking children to visit prisons and some also run family days. If he's in a Northern prison there's lots of information from PoPs. Similar organisations for prisons all over the country.
https://www.partnersofprisoners.co.uk/

Not at my local prison, no.

You are still so young OP and living in your violent ex's Dad's property. I wouldn't take baby to visit and would prioritise finding accommodation away from this family.

There is a program in some prisons where the Dad can record himself reading a bedtime story and the tape is then passed onto the children. Is this something he might find helpful, rather than a visit?

https://www.storybookdads.org.uk

No, there's often a play area outside for while you're waiting, but families are in the main visiting room with everyone else. He'll be checked for contraband on the way in as people try to hide stuff in nappies. I visited a friend a few times and found it all very sad re the kids. They sometimes do family days, but only a couple of times a year.

If he’s serving 50% of his sentence, has already been inside almost 2 years and won’t be released until next year, that must’ve been a very serious assault…

I know you’re reliant at the moment about your DC’s paternal grandfather but don’t let him pressure you into making prison visits or having violent men in your child’s life

I don't understand how his dad thinks that when a photo upsets him, that taking the little one to prison will be less upsetting for him??

It sounds quite a vulnerable position to me, you living in one of their properties. The fact you have also felt this when he's asked you about your little boy going in to prison is making you feel quite sad and worried for you. 😔

I’ve never been to a prison but do they not have family rooms for when children visit? Or am I being naive?

As he’s only little and won’t remember it, I’d take him. It’s a kindness to his Dad who’s let you live in his property. If he was older I’d say absolutely not but at that age there will be no damage.

Does he actually want his child to visit? In my experience most parents don’t want their DC being anywhere near the kind of people they will be mixing with in the visiting room. There are often fights breaking out if a known paedophile is thought to have looked at another inmates child. I really wouldn’t do it.

Not sure if I'd want my son to meet his dad for the first time in prison. But if it was going to happen, no way would it be with someone else and not me. I would go with him.

I have no experience so am not going to try to tell you what to do. All I will say is you sound young and vulnerable. Please don’t let anyone pressure you into anything. Do what your heart tells you is right for your child.