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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
InMyOodie · 28/02/2026 15:15

He's a snivelling little coward. He hid from the delivery driver who caused the crash but then attacks you for...observing an accident that has nothing to do with you?

disturbia · 28/02/2026 15:14

Don't give a stupid neighbour this amount of power to upset you. He saw the incident and hid in his house leaving you to deal with the driver he is being ridiculous.

stichguru · 28/02/2026 15:14

You do nothing. This is between you neighbour and the delivery firm. The driver has left his details (or his firm's details) so your neighbour contacts them. The ONLY reason you might need to be involved is letting the neighbour know who the firm were, and being a witness to what happened if the driver had just driven off, but you knew what had happened. Otherwise you're not responsible.

OnGoldenPond · 28/02/2026 15:14

Why do you care what this guy thinks of you? He is being completely unreasonable and sounds nuts. The whole thing was the fault of the van driver and you didn’t need to get involved at all.

Notsosweetcaroline · 28/02/2026 15:14

What a weirdo he is, hiding in his house and blaming you.

but why have you no back bone, what’s the story here, the usual response would be come down you fucking freak your property is not my responsibility nor is the delivery van. Don’t come near me again.

Walkden · 28/02/2026 15:10

"But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

He was unhinged saying this. As pp have said it wasnt you who damaged his house it was the delivery driver and he was the only one obliged to knock on.

Assuming this is just a downpipe I can't see how it would even be that expensive / difficult to fix but it still is not your problem

redboxerclub · 28/02/2026 15:10

BerryTwister · 28/02/2026 15:10

The neighbour is strange for watching it happen and not coming out, but I’m confused at why no one knocked on his door, despite spending 20 minutes talking, getting pen/paper, supporting the driver etc.

Because they though he was out with the dog

BerryTwister · 28/02/2026 15:10

The neighbour is strange for watching it happen and not coming out, but I’m confused at why no one knocked on his door, despite spending 20 minutes talking, getting pen/paper, supporting the driver etc.

redboxerclub · 28/02/2026 15:09

toxic masculinity.

You did not damage is property or cause it in anyway.

a visitor to your house - NOT YOU- parked to load. Another vehicle misjudged the gap and his guttering. Again not you.

You were told he was out so don’t knock. He doesn’t believe you. What a prick.

absolute prick - ignore home from now on.

JohnBullshit · 28/02/2026 15:09

You didn't park the car.
You didn't drive the van into the guttering.
You did try to help your neighbour by obtaining the van driver's details.
I can't for the life of me think what your neighbour imagines you did wrong here. I also can't imagine seeing someone drive into my property and just watching everyone else buzz around without showing my face. Blows my mind that he would prefer to spend the time working out why an easy target might be to blame for the whole thing.

BollyMolly · 28/02/2026 15:06

Your neighbour is a dick. What difference does he think it would
make to the whole situation if you’d knocked on his door?

it was nothing to do with you. You didn’t park on the road nor did you drive a vehicle that damaged his property. Stop worrying about what this man thinks. Any man that blames a woman for something that was caused by two unrelated men has an opinion that is worth nothing.

ActoBelle · 28/02/2026 15:04

And if you give him an inch now he will take a mile for the rest of the time you live there. I’m not normally one to encourage falling out with neighbours so keep it civil, polite and firm. I’d write a note telling him the situation is nothing to do with you and that while you appreciate he may have been upset you don’t appreciate being spoken to like that. And express a wish to have good neighbourly relations and to live by each other without any ill feeling.

outerspacepotato · 28/02/2026 15:01

Nutjob.

He thinks he can intimidate you because you're a woman.

It wasn't your fault, it was the driver's. Tell him to fuck off if he brings it up again. And get a door cam I'd you don't have one, he sounds like he might mess with your car.

ActoBelle · 28/02/2026 15:01

He sounds like a total fuckwit. If anyone should have knocked on the door it should have been the delivery driver. It’s not actually anything to do with you. Please don’t let him walk all over you, don’t be apologetic, etc. fuck him. I mean what an oddball, skulking upstairs and watching but then being so mad that nobody told him. If he was that het up about it why did the weirdo not come out??

HonoraBridge · 28/02/2026 15:00

Your neighbour sounds completely deranged.

Dave57 · 28/02/2026 14:58

This is so bizarre.
what an absolute odd ball. There has to be another reason he didn’t come down. Why would you sit and watch it play out. I mean what did he expect you to do of the driver jad already knocked?

More like he didn’t want a confrontation with the delivery driver or your ex. Much easier to take it out on you!

FailMeOnce · 28/02/2026 14:47

"You hid upstairs all that time rather than come down to get it sorted? Honestly, Bob, how silly; it never would have occurred to me that you'd be too scared to come out and talk to a driver if you were home - of course I assumed you were out! Lucky you've got good neighbours who make sure the driver leaves all the relevant details with you when you finally emerge! Good luck with it." close door

Fupoffyagrasshole · 28/02/2026 14:46

Why was he hiding upstairs ? I don’t understand why he didn’t come down

weirdo

id just blank him from now on

MmeWorthington · 28/02/2026 14:46

Just point out that you gave the driver a pen and paper so that he could leave his details for him - which was you acting to assist your neighbour.

He is an idiot.

Even if X's car had been fully blocking the road it is the van driver's responsibility not to hit houses or bump onto stuff.

Blinky21 · 28/02/2026 14:46

He sounds unhinged

Helen1625 · 28/02/2026 14:46

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 14:11

@Uticary @lazyarse123 @getearnow

The delivery driver was actually outside for about 20 minutes. The delivery driver was having a meltdown. He said he was new to this job. And he honestly looked like he was going to cry. So my ex was outside trying to calm him down.

So the driver was outside for about 20-25 minutes writing this note and filling out his insurance.

And yes, it does feel like my neighbour was testing me. Because he said he was waiting to see what I would do and how I would respond to it. Rather than him just coming outside to see what happened and dealing with the delivery driver himself.

This is actually quite disturbing/pathetic.

So all the while the driver was there - 20 minutes or so - and your ex, he was watching YOU to see how YOU would deal with the situation?! That's actually really creepy and making him sound slightly unhinged. Admitting he was hiding upstairs doesn't paint him in a good light, how embarrassing that he actually admitted that's what he did.

He had plenty of time to come out and deal with it himself, but instead hid in his house and watched what you did. You'd have been well within your rights to observe 'Oh, that driver's just hit next door's guttering' then close your front door and get on with your day. You took the time to check in with the driver and give him a pen and paper to leave contact details. You already did more than enough.

He clearly didn't help you out out of the goodness of his heart, more like he thinks he can call in favours now because you owe him.

His behaviour in all of this is giving me a really uneasy feeling. He's most certainly a bully, that's for sure. Happy to run his mouth off at you but couldn't stand up to the driver.

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell him to f* off, but that's me, not everyone is confrontational or comfortable with yelling back and that's perfectly understandable. Would your ex have a word with him?

Iwasneverafan · 28/02/2026 14:45

Let me guess… he’s retired, ex forces, lives alone, has a little moustache, wears one of those combat gilets with loads of flap pockets with pens and fishing bits in them …
You’ve done nothing wrong
He’s a spineless bully 😏

queenMab99 · 28/02/2026 14:42

He was hiding upstairs, too scared to go down and face the situation, and he is now taking it out on you, If he knew it had happened, why else would he stay indoors peeping out of an upstairs window?

It's a ridiculous thing to say, he was testing you, it wasn't anything to do with you.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 28/02/2026 14:40

Bob, you’re being an idiot. It was an accident, caused by the van driver not me. The van driver did the right thing, it wasn’t my responsibility to come round, as it wasn’t me who had the accident. At the end of the day, the issue is yours, behaving like a child instead of coming out like an adult and talking to the van driver. Please don’t talk to me about this again.

Canitgetbetter · 28/02/2026 14:38

He's out of order. His behaviour was incredibly strange (hiding indoors).

I don't know how your relationship with your ex is, but if the neighbour gives you any more trouble I'd ask ex to knock on his door and have a word. Because I bet your neighbour would not have dared treat you this way if you were a man. Even if he doesn't react well to your ex he will likely think twice before troubling you again.

Of course you're shaken - he verbally attacked you out of nowhere. You didn't anticipate it as you hadn't done anything wrong!