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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 28/02/2026 16:05

"He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do."

Utter bollocks. Why would he stay in his house when the driver who has just damaged his property was outside? Of course he would have gone outside and taken down insurance details!

He's a liar and a total cunt who probably gets off on intimidating a woman. Never trust him again, and never allow him into your house again (not even if your washing machine floods the kitchen!).

Triskellion75 · 28/02/2026 16:02

Batshit, cowardly little prick!

Too shit scared to come out and deal with it but all Billy big balls after the event?

3peassuit · 28/02/2026 16:01

He’d hide inside and then attempt to intimidate a lone woman rather than immediately go and speak to the driver who caused the accident and your ex. What an idiot.

Twooclockrock · 28/02/2026 16:00

Why didn't he come out then if he saw it all unfold and it was his house??
I think hes been a twat but his reaction is a bit extreme, hiding then having a meltdown because someone hit his gutter. Therefore I would deduce that he has some mental health issues and its best to try and draw a line and make up somehow. He may well apologise next time he sees you after he has calmed down.

StormyLandCloud · 28/02/2026 15:57

You went out of your way to help with getting the details …. Why was he hiding upstairs FFS, trying to ensure you did what he expects you to do? He sounds like a bully, it’s not ideal but just stand up to him, you helped, he should be grateful

MoveOnTheCards · 28/02/2026 15:52

ilovesooty · 28/02/2026 15:51

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Why bother with all that?

Indeed. It’s absolutely nothing to do with you so don’t even mention it again.

Endofyear · 28/02/2026 15:51

Your neighbour sounds like an oddball - if he saw what happened he could have come out and dealt with it himself. It's nothing to do with you, not your fault and he's got a bloody cheek accusing you of anything! If he comes and knocks on your door again, ignore him. If he gives you any more grief, tell him you'll report him to the police for harassment.

MoveOnTheCards · 28/02/2026 15:51

I wouldn’t have got involved at all @neighbourgate but as you have, by way of delivering notes, now just leave it. Your neighbour sounds unhinged and it’s absolutely nothing to do with you. Not the driver’s actions nor how your ex parked, whether or not it allowed traffic to pass.

Ignore your bullying idiot of a neighbour.

2Rebecca · 28/02/2026 15:51

Why should the neighbour have knocked? She damaged nothing and I think the ex parking his car outside her house is irrelevant. It was outside her house parked legally. She got overinvolved and should first have told the van driver to knock on the neighbours door, it wasn’t her job to do so

ilovesooty · 28/02/2026 15:51

Teresavonlichenstein · 28/02/2026 14:26

Dear Bob,
I am writing to address your behaviour toward me this morning, which I found very intimidating and unnecessarily aggressive.

You shouted and swore at me despite the fact that I had nothing to do with the accident.
As you mentioned you were upstairs and saw it all, you will know it was a delivery driver - not me -who hit your guttering. I went inside specifically to get a pen and paper to ensure the driver left his details for you. I was acting as a helpful witness, yet I was met with verbal abuse.

As a parent at home alone with a young child, I found your response very upsetting and inappropriate. I hope that in the future, we can communicate more respectfully.
Best regards,
Emma

put a note through and leave him alone. Arshehole

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Why bother with all that?

LilyBunch25 · 28/02/2026 15:46

Helpwithdivorce · 28/02/2026 14:05

So he was in his house. Saw the van hit his house and didn’t come out?
I would have told him I assumed you weren’t home because you’d have come out if you’d have been in. What kind of psychopath sits and watches out the window and does nothing?
Id just ignore him from now on. He’s clearly got several screws loose

Exactly what I was about to say. He sounds nuts! So sorry OP especially as you didn't have to be as helpful as you already had. Don't let him intimidate you.

Fbfbfvfvv · 28/02/2026 15:44

It’s the delivery drivers fault the guttering was damaged and it was your exes fault if his/her parking led to the other traffic problems. You don’t have any responsibility for how any of it unfolded.
Your neighbour is blaming you for the fact he himself was a coward hiding in his house and didn’t have the balls to come out and speak to the delivery driver who damaged his guttering directly. He can’t blame you for the fact he is a coward. It wasn’t your responsibility at all.

Coconutter24 · 28/02/2026 15:42

Sorry I clicked YABU by accident 🤦‍♀️

You have nothing to do with this so don’t worry. It’s between the driver and the neighbour. It wasn’t even your car!! I would have said “it’s my ex’s car would you like me to go get him to have a chat about it with you?” Because I guarantee he probably wouldn’t have a go at him! What if it was another neighbours visitor outside your house, would you still get the blame because it’s outside your house? The driver is the one at fault, regardless of where your ex parked the driver is the one moving and the onus is on him not to hit anything

Tulipsriver · 28/02/2026 15:37

He's been ridiculous. Unless your ex was parked illegally, it has absolutely nothing to do with you (and even if he was parked somewhere he shouldn't, the most your neighbour could reasonably do is ask for his details). His argument, if he wants one, is with the delivery driver.

He's either mentally unwell or enjoying playing weird mind games with you (who watches from their window to 'see what you would do' instead of coming outside... that's bizarre!). Try to ignore him, you've done nothing wrong.

ForeverTheOptomist · 28/02/2026 15:37

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

This sounds very upsetting all round. The accident was clearly not your fault, but he sounds upset about having his property damaged.

Perhaps you could leave things to settle for a day or so, and then pop round and apologise for not knocking? And obviously point out again that you thought he was out. Maybe take a small peace offering. The last thing you want is a difficult relationship with your neighbour.

Obviously it's a very good thing that you were around to take details.

The thing is that we don't know what else is going on in people's lives.

dentalflosser · 28/02/2026 15:35

OP you are definitely not in the wrong here. Your neighbour had taken out his rage on you when it was not your fault and you did your best to sort out the situation for him.
I would send your ex round to politely explain this, if the neighbour is going to be this aggressive then it’s a man’s job to sort it and I’m not being sexist here.

2Rebecca · 28/02/2026 15:32

The driver should have knocked on the neighbours door. You shouldn’t have been as involved and your neighbour is a weirdo. This had nothing to do with you. He should be annoyed with the van driver not knocking on his door not you and he could easily have come down. Have nothing to do with him from now on

Yesiamtiredactually · 28/02/2026 15:30

It isn’t your job to facilitate everyone dealing with this situation. It wasn’t your job to knock on your neighbours door, you already helped by providing the paper and pen for a note. Maybe your neighbour was already upset and this on top tipped him over the edge, HOWEVER, there was no reason to take it out on you.
I’d have been really upset by the whole thing too, for all of the reasons you’ve said and just generally by the angry conflict occurring at all so please don’t feel like you’re silly or overreacting at all. Just try to remember you aren’t actually involved any more than any other person in the street who could have happened to see it. Yes your neigh though is the victim but you’re not the one at fault so his anger is misdirected.
hopefully if he’s not a total wanker (based on your description of him so far he’s maybe not normally), once he’s calmed down and come to his senses he will realise that and maybe even apologise because you’re definitely owed an apology for the way he spoke to you.

its a shitty thing to happen, but if he knocks again, hopefully it’s to apologise because anything else deserves an “I’m ending this conversation until you calm down” and closing the door.

YouDriveMeCrazyButICanDoThatMyself · 28/02/2026 15:27

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly fcked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”*

At this point you could have said ‘a random van hitting you house has got fuck all to do with me and, as you were watching, I didn’t need to knock, did I?’

what a dick!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 28/02/2026 15:26

"Bob, none of this is anything to do with me, it's between you and the van driver. You've got his details.'

Absolutely matter of fact, no emotional input, If he thinks he's upset you he'll be using that constantly to either guilt you into doing stuff for him, to get under your skin to upset you more, or to keep coming round so he can 'explain.'

He knows you're a woman on your own. If you're not careful and he leans into the guilt angle, he'll have you paying to redo his garden fence and all his dog's vet bills - he'll be an expert!

Tigerbalmshark · 28/02/2026 15:22

You have done him a favour, making sure the random van driver who drove into his property left his details. If he wants to repay that favour by being an arsehole, he can get to fuck honestly.

TroysMammy · 28/02/2026 15:20

He's a knob, ignore him. You've done nothing wrong.

MyballsareSandy2015 · 28/02/2026 15:19

Nasty prick, don’t engage with him any further OP.

He should have come out and dealt with the delivery driver, not hid behind his
curtains then had a go at you …. no balls.

Owly11 · 28/02/2026 15:18

Why didn't he go outside? He watched the whole thing? What the fuck? He sounds like a fucking psycho - 'waiting to see what you would do'. You did more than you needed to and since he wasn't going to go outside due to being 'scared' what help would you knocking on his door have been? It doesn't even make sense! I would steer well clear.

simpledeer · 28/02/2026 15:15

I don’t understand why you were involved in this at all? Neighbour sounds like they have MH issues.

Just steer clear.