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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
OCDmama · 28/02/2026 17:16

Why cry? He's an arsehole. Why would you let him talk to you like that?

Honestly you should have told him he's acting bizarrely and to get to fuck.

I think you need to build up your self esteem!

Christmasinmecar · 28/02/2026 17:15

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 14:11

@Uticary @lazyarse123 @getearnow

The delivery driver was actually outside for about 20 minutes. The delivery driver was having a meltdown. He said he was new to this job. And he honestly looked like he was going to cry. So my ex was outside trying to calm him down.

So the driver was outside for about 20-25 minutes writing this note and filling out his insurance.

And yes, it does feel like my neighbour was testing me. Because he said he was waiting to see what I would do and how I would respond to it. Rather than him just coming outside to see what happened and dealing with the delivery driver himself.

Your neighbour was probably worried about confronting the delivery driver if truth beknown. A woman living on her own is not a potential threat.
What a spiness wanker he really is. It's not your problem anyway.

MikeRafone · 28/02/2026 17:08

it wasn't you driving the van, it wasn't actually anything to do with you. Next time don't get involved, its clear as you did it became your fault

Jack2025 · 28/02/2026 17:08

Ignore your neighbour going forwards - if he tries to communicate with you in any way, tell him that he makes you feel uncomfortable and to stay away from you. He sounds creepy and what psycho watches from a window and does nothing to protect their property. Weird.

Ponderingwindow · 28/02/2026 17:05

this really has nothing to do with you.

However, how this plays out in the court of neighborhood opinion is likely to come down to whether or not your ex was parked legally.

GrillaMilla · 28/02/2026 17:00

I'd be keeping my distance. He sounds weird.
Don't tell him any of your business, and certainly don't let him 'help' you with anything. Just be courteous and that's it.
He's a bully, you did nothing wrong. And I wouldn't give a toss what he thought of me either.

Namechangerage · 28/02/2026 16:58

If comes to the door do not answer!! And if he brings it up next time you see him, say “I will not talking about it any further. I made sure the driver left his details and gave my info as a witness. It was your choice to hide upstairs.” If he carries on a “LEAVE ME ALONE” should do it.

NotAlwaysCertain · 28/02/2026 16:57

Yabu because you threw yourself under the bus by inviting him to blame your parking, when you suggested he might be angry (framed it as your fault).
Yabu to take it all to heart.

But… YANBU for being responsible or not knocking. There's no law that people should knock and if he was watching it all play out then he was fully aware and it's even more obviously all on him, not you.

EstherGreenwood63 · 28/02/2026 16:55

He is another subpar male specimen who is such a wee coward he cannot confront a man. He knows how weak and cowardly he is so to boost his very low self esteem he bullies a lone woman. He is a sad cunt. Don't give this turd another thought but DO report him of there is any further harassment of you.
And as pp have said NEVER ever let him in to your property again. 💐

hypnovic · 28/02/2026 16:49

He is a dick you did nothing wrong

DotAndCarryOne2 · 28/02/2026 16:49

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 14:11

@Uticary @lazyarse123 @getearnow

The delivery driver was actually outside for about 20 minutes. The delivery driver was having a meltdown. He said he was new to this job. And he honestly looked like he was going to cry. So my ex was outside trying to calm him down.

So the driver was outside for about 20-25 minutes writing this note and filling out his insurance.

And yes, it does feel like my neighbour was testing me. Because he said he was waiting to see what I would do and how I would respond to it. Rather than him just coming outside to see what happened and dealing with the delivery driver himself.

He’s a twat. If anyone contacts you about this, just be truthful about what happened and make it clear that he told you he was home and testing you. He sounds unhinged.

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 28/02/2026 16:46

I put that yabu - not that you shouldn’t be upset, but he is being so ridiculous that it’s not worth arguing with him- he’s not going to suddenly get reasonable. Try not to take it to heart.

Alcoholtakingherlife · 28/02/2026 16:40

Applespearsandpeaches · 28/02/2026 14:03

It’s completely the fault of the delivery driver and your ex. Don’t apologise to your neighbour, it’s not your job to police the actions of delivery drivers or to notify him of anything. Tell him to take it up with them. He sounds upset about the damage to his property but it doesn’t excuse picking on you.

Is not OPs ex's fault either

Daygloboo · 28/02/2026 16:38

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

I'd have nothing to do with him. He sounds a bit unstable. Dont talk to him. Dont grovel ffs. You've apologised. It's over. Time to ignore hom from now on because he is intimidating you. The fact he was watching to see what you'd do is creepy.

dick27 · 28/02/2026 16:36

WaIIy · 28/02/2026 16:22

He didn't come out when he saw it all happening? Sounds like a coward who likes intimidating women, because he didn't want to confront a man did he?
What a cunt

Yup 100% this

Gymnopedie · 28/02/2026 16:32

Yeah, too scared to come out and face the male driver so takes it out on his female neighbour.

Don't engage with him any more. Tell him it's between him and the driver and either close the door or go inside if he's caught you outside. Is your relationship with yoour ex good enough that he would have words? I know it shouldn't take a man to tell him to shove it but sadly that's the way some men (ie the misogynists or the cowards) think.

cricketnut77 · 28/02/2026 16:23

What a twat your neighbour sounds. Why didn't he come outside if he knew thr delivery driver hit his guttering? Weirdo

WaIIy · 28/02/2026 16:22

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 14:04

@rubyslippers Yes it’s just me and my toddler daughter who live here.
he has helped me before with my washing machine so he came in the house a few months ago which is why he said “I’ve always helped you”.

He didn't come out when he saw it all happening? Sounds like a coward who likes intimidating women, because he didn't want to confront a man did he?
What a cunt

NewZebra · 28/02/2026 16:17

What a fucking weirdo. Strange he was actually the one hiding inside. Why didn’t he come straight out? Too scared of the male driver I’m guessing, easier to take it out on you.

Clara27 · 28/02/2026 16:16

Your neighbour sounds like a very odd person and I would be very wary of interacting with him at all. Normal behaviour does not involve watching how something plays out so you can intimidate someone, especially someone (you) who had nothing to do with the incident. He sounds very controlling and manipulative. He doesn’t need to involve you at all, he already has the details of the driver which he saw being posted into his letterbox. At that point he could have spoken directly to the driver. Instead he avoided any interaction with the driver who interestingly is male and chose to attack you, who he feels he can intimidate. Sounds like a psychopathic bully.

Balloonhearts · 28/02/2026 16:15

Tell him to fuck off, you didn't hit it!

FOJN · 28/02/2026 16:14

OP it's time to get a grip. It's intimidating when someone is behaving in such a confidently accusatory way but nothing your neighbour said makes sense so you don't need to continue to feel guilty. He's hiding upstairs because he's scared but also he's watching to see what you would do. He doesn't appear to have said the driver did not leave insurance details so an accident, you had nothing to do with, has been dealt with appropriately by the person who caused it. It's nothing to do with you so there is no need to volunteer yourself as personally responsible in anyway, you didn't park the car or drive the van.

Your neighbour is batshit so why would you care what he thinks of you. Straighten your spine and if he knocks tell him you do not intend to speak to him unless it's to hear an apology for his appalling behaviour and then close the door. Stop striving for the good opinion of arseholes.

everypageisempty · 28/02/2026 16:13

He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.
He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He's hilarious.

Hiding upstairs, fully capable of criticising and aggressively standing up for himself against his female neighbour, who wasn't involved with the accident in any form, but wouldn't come down to deal with the van driver who damaged his house.

He's a jackass. Just ignore him.

itsgettingweird · 28/02/2026 16:11

He’s behaved completely u reasonably because he’s clocked your the sort of person who will take the blame for something that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with you.

Next time you see him - look him in the eye and say if he ever verbally abuses you publicly again you’ll be taking it further.

Don’t let him be a bully and stop being a wet wipe.

Dollymylove · 28/02/2026 16:10

Tell him to naff off. You didnt hit his guttering. Him fixing your washer doesnt obligate you to him in anyway.
Oh and I also bet he wouldnt havebooted off to a bloke

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