So I don’t even know where to start with this but I just need to hear from people who might have been through something similar.
My DH is neurodiverse and parenting together has been really really hard. Things have actually improved a lot recently and to be fair to him he has made genuine effort, I can see that. But there are still moments where I just think… am I going mad or is this not okay?
Today is a perfect example. He took our 10 month old DS out to an outdoor shopping area. Before they left I checked the weather, saw it was 6-7 degrees and asked him (nicely, as I always have to) to please make sure DS had his hat, coat and a blanket. He has this thing where he doesn’t like to wrap the baby up and I’ve never really understood it but I’ve just learned to make sure I mention it.
Then it started raining. I called to ask him to put the rain cover on - then realised the pram was still in my car. He hadn’t taken the pram at all. He keeps taking him out for hours at a time without it and carrying him round all day. I then got a photo of my son fast asleep with his face resting on the handlebars of a little balance bike, chin on a box, head flopped forward. He’s 10 months old.
I called, asked if he was getting wet because it was raining by this point, and he got visibly annoyed with me, said he was going and “have a nice day” and hung up.
Like I said things have improved and I don’t want to be unfair to DH because the effort is there. But it’s still so hard and I feel so alone in it sometimes.
Has anyone else parented with a neurodiverse partner? Any tips or experiences? How do you navigate the safety stuff without it turning into a huge conflict?