How to handle DD6 possible learning difficulties and DH attitude towards the whole thing ? Who’s right and who’s wrong ?

Hahaha. A teacher into unicorns too. Your DD sounds fab.

My daughter is now 15 but I wish she’d have had someone this attentive when she was 6. She was largely ignored by her teachers as she was pretty compliant.
She complained about her attention difficulties starting about age 6/7 but I trusted the teachers to say if there was an issue. She was assessed with having dyslexia in yr7 and adhd in yr10.
My niece was assessed to have dyslexia at 7. She’s had a tutor for help around reading and now actually reads books. My daughter hates reading! She’s never read a book. I think if she’d have had my nieces support things would have been different and her entire path through school could have been much easier .
Tutors for youngsters know how to make learning fun so I wouldn’t be concerned about tutoring

History - so Romans, Eyptians, Greeks.
Planets and Science
Coding and physics

She was in a class with 12 girls who were in to Unicorns and Sparkles. And a class teacher who was mad into horses and used to dress her horse up as a unicorn.

You know when you think, these are not my people....

I have 6 wonderful children 🙌 😊.
4 girls , 2 boys.
My eldest is 32 in March , living In Australia .
I miss her a lot. Had her quite young , I’m 50 now .I have boy & girl 24 year old twins .
21 year old boy next, & 2 girls 18 & 15 .
I always wanted a big family.
We are all very close ☺️.

Don’t worry about your little lady OP , I agree with your husband, give her more time x

It says that you may not be getting from the school what you are paying for.

(Your DD sounds like a lovely child.)

Oh my goodness. I see now. 😮

She doesn’t have 5 siblings 😂 😂
DD6 is dear daughter aged 6 ! 😊

Thirty five years teaching Primary School.

You should tell your husband that if her teachers have concerns then he needs to listen to them.

We've got FAR too much to do without wasting our time labelling children just for the sake of it. That's a ridiculous take.

DS reception teacher said she felt he may be ND / had a few things to look out for. DH wouldn’t hear of it and dead set against diagnosis. Was diagnosed at 17 when it all went south in the run up to A levels. Doing ok again now but an earlier diagnosis would have been helpful. Keep listening to what teachers are saying, don’t let DH stop her from being assessed if/when that becomes an appropriate next step. Diagnoses allow easier access to appropriate support and it is up to the individual if / when / where to share.

I would just let them observe her in class and see what they say.
I wouldn’t at this stage be falling down a rabbit hole worrying about learning difficulties, extra tutoring etc.
All children are different, my eldest is in a mainstream secondary, the second one is on course to head to Grammar school as was his wish and my little one is nowhere near the age where anyone should be looking at him and making decisions about what may be an issue.
He has moved up 3 phonics groups in the last 4 months after not having any interest in it in reception. His teachers in reception weren’t worried, he’s a summer born boy as is our eldest. Year 3 is when things usually start to even out a little and if she’s behind then, struggling to focus on class then I would be looking into it more as a parent.

The fact the school wants to help and address and has picked up she is bright and eager is fantastic! With dyslexia they often just cannot understand or process the questions or put pen to paper but it’s all up their in their understanding. Read to her as much as possible and also audio books are great. But primarily adapted resources are a game changer.

Let them observe her. If she ends up being eg dyslexic/dyspraxic get a tutor specialised in that who can then also guide you all with adapted resources. If there are issues, the earlier the intervention the better. You say she loves learning which is great! Keep it that way and keep encouraging and praising and make sure to never ever discuss any difficulties within her earshot.

They might a little further down the line say that they don’t think they are the right fit for her and ask you to look into alternative places.
If they do it says more about them than your daughter…. It’s very sad that they can look at a little girl and bring to you concerns that actually don’t sound like a problem.
I’m all for children who need help getting it, my eldest is Autistic and struggled so much in primary school socially and academically.
We paid privately to have him assessed because he was falling apart at the seams by year 5, but the school didn’t see it and he managed to keep it together until he got home.
Your daughter is 6, I’m guessing year 1 which is the same year as our little one.
If she’s happy, polite, can take turns, as is roughly where she should be academically give or take a level I honestly would focus forest school type hobbies etc outside of school rather than tutoring. Mine loves a good forage and run around in the woods which personally I think is far more important at the age of 6 then sitting perfectly in class and being a perfect reader.

I don’t have any specific advice regarding your OP, however, my 6‑year‑old who is in Year One was having attention difficulties, so we had her assessed in October and she received a diagnosis. An Educational Psychologist observed her a month later and confirmed that small class sizes are an essential part of her disability-related needs.We’re now at the draft stage of her EHCP, and the local authority will be taking over funding for her education in the next few weeks. Our LA is happy to fund private school places as the fees for specialist schools in our area cost significantly more.

It really says something that despite you spending a lot of money on school fees, presumably for the value of smaller classes and more individual attention, you are now spending even more money on a tutor because you don't trust the school to understand your daughter's specific issues and what she needs.