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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move home 3 months after emigrating?

86 replies

OneGoldKoala · 27/02/2026 18:56

My husband got a job in another European country so we sold up and we all moved with him… all very exciting but oh my goodness I’m so unhappy. It’s so lonely. Our toddler is so disregulated. I’m crying all the time. Husband is constantly working.

AIBU to throw in the towel, admit it was a huge mistake and go home?

OP posts:
Enko · 27/02/2026 19:20

6 months before you start feeling .ore at east 1 year before it begins to feel like home.

Yes 3 months is too early. What can you do to avoid feeling lonely are there any groups to go to. Any other British people you can meet with.

Are you comfortable sharing the country?

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 27/02/2026 19:10

YANBU, come home.

Shmithecat2 · 27/02/2026 19:06

You have to give it a bit longer. It took me almost a year to not cry every day when we moved aboard (UK to KSA). Ended staying for 6 years, mostly very happy, before I came home. I miss it very much!

crazeekat · 27/02/2026 19:06

It’s really not enough time. I need to give it a good year.

RavelTrio · 27/02/2026 19:06

Three months is far, far too early to give up. Your toddler is probably picking up on your intense unhappiness, which is making him/her dysregulated and stressing you out in turn. Do you speak the language? Are you able to work there? Are there any groups for new immigrants locally you could join?

I get that it feels awful now, but I genuinely think it's much too soon to have the measure of a place. Did you plan to stay permanently, or was it always intended to be for a finite period?

BaronessBomburst · 27/02/2026 19:06

Do you want to tell us where you are? There are Mumsnetters all over who may be able to come up with more useful/ specific tips.

Original poster
OneGoldKoala · 27/02/2026 19:04

I don’t speak the language yet, but I’m learning.

OP posts:
itsthetea · 27/02/2026 19:02

It takes times to settle and make friends

canuckup · 27/02/2026 19:02

Do you speak the language?

Diosmonet · 27/02/2026 19:01

It really does take time to settle. Throwing the towel in after 3 months is extreme imo, not to say ridiculously premature given you 'sold up' back in UK.

Making new friends, meeting other English speaking mums, learning the language and getting some time on your own, to explore your new city will help.

Assimilation takes years sometimes.

Zanatdy · 27/02/2026 18:58

I’d probably give it a bit longer. What will happen, will your DH stay out there? Can you speak the language? The first year will be tough, so i’d give it longer to settle.

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