To move home 3 months after emigrating?

do you have any 'expats in xx' facebook groups? It's often easier to make friends with other expats - first, because they are all new and looking to make new friends. Plus also they would understand better what you're dealing with.

Well, she doesn’t have a home, for starters. She needs to give it more than what’s basically a matter of weeks!

Oh OP. Hang in there. When I first moved to the UK (for uni) I cried every day for the first 6 mnths. It gradually got better after that. People at the time to give it a year. They were right.

Are you good at languages OP? How long will it take you to become fluent? I wouldn’t live somewhere if I couldn’t speak the language fluently, unless there was a large expat community. I’d get depressed. I assume your husband is fluent in the local language so it’s OK for him.

Having done a similar move, I would say 3 months is peak misery. You dismantled your old life and it’s receding in the rear view mirror. But you haven’t yet created a new life. I’d give it at least 6 months, mind wide open, then reassess.

Aww. This is completely normal.

Three months in, is a standard time to wobble so try and accept that this is par for the course and make yourself completely focus on trying harder to make friends for at least another 6 months. Don’t allow yourself to wallow.

You need to start making new connections and for this to become your new normal. Keep plodding on and one day you’ll realise that you’re much more settled and no longer hankering after your old life. Good luck!

Are you somewhere with an international community? If so I recommend trying to get in on that because those people will understand what you are going through. It will be better when spring comes.

I moved to UK and found it totally overwhelming. And that was just from another English speaking country . I promised myself that I would give it at least a year so I could experience every event like Xmas or summer. Obviously I was fine as I made friends and settled into normal things like shopping etc. Missing family is normal too . Can they come visit you as maybe not good to go back too soon.

If you want to meet people, don't wait for it to naturally go beyond small talk the way you're used to it in the UK, you'll both be missing plenty of linguistic and cultural references and it'll take forever. Me and my other friends abroad all agree that the best method is to simply say after a minute or two of small talk "Could we exchange numbers? I've only just moved here and don't really know anyone yet." Then text them a couple of days later to make plans at a child-friendly place. You won't hit it off with everyone, but if you keep at it, you'll soon find the ones you really click with.
Another friend of mine doesn't even always wait for the small talk, just after any toddler activity turns to a random mum and asks if she wants to grab a coffee. Most mums at home with toddlers are happy for a bit of adult company!

Same here. I’d been gone almost 30 years. It took years to start to feel at home again.

We moved back to my home country when DC was 18 months. It took me ages to settle back in (had been in the UK for most of my adult life, nearly 20 years by then)...and that was without language issues and having to stay at home. We were lucky in that it was coming up to summer, and it was a great summer that year. You need to give it some time.
Give the mum groups some time, too.

I lived abroad and it took me a year to settle. Give it longer and be kind to yourself xx

Making friends works differently in different cultures even within Europe.
In some people generally don't go around in open to friendship mode. It opens over the time as you become a familiar part of the environment.

Expat groups are generally easier with more people in similar situation - used to people coming and going, no big family locally, no close friendship group which didn't change in 20 years

Never quit on a bad day.

Change is hard, so just be kind to yourself and give yourself time to try and make it work.

Btw, I'd ask for this to be moved to the 'Living Overseas' board. So far, most of the responses here have been sensible, but you'll get more balanced responses from people like us who've actually been in your situation.

Three months is nothing; i had the same feelings when we moved from the UK.

Depending on what city/country you're in, there should be plenty of expat tribes to loop in with, since it's going to take time to bring your language up to speed. Local Facebook groups are your friend here.

In the meantime, plan your days once your toddler starts nursery; language classes (in person, not online) where you'll meet folk in a similar boat, exercise classes etc.

Are there any local international schools nearby? Find the nearest cafe, and make contact with the mums.

3 months is very early. But if you don’t speak the local language that well then it’s realistically going to be a while before you’re at the level to fluently engage in conversation in a group setting so I think you need to look for expat groups if you really want to give settling your best shot. Anything English speaking e.g. American mom groups etc. Also would there be the option for DD to go to nursery at a British/International school? They can be quite good with parent events/mixers.

Yeah you need more time. The first 6 months can be quite hard.
Once your toddler is in nursery make sure to attend physical classes for language, if you cannot now. For now try to find some expat groups. Don't necessarily have to be your nationality. I got on really well with completely different group to my nationality during last move.
I cried a lot when I moved countries the first time. Second time was much better. Even moving city to city can be quite a hit.

But you’ve been there three months. Of course you haven’t made any friends yet. I have things in my fridge older than that!

Also (and I mean this kindly, because I’ve also moved round a lot and I remember the slightly panic-stricken loneliness that hit me at times), obvious unhappiness and desperation isn’t a good mindset for making new friends. It stops you from engaging properly with other people, seeing them as individuals you might potentially gel with, and makes you come across as ‘any port in a storm’. When you feel more at ease with your decision, you’re far more likely to meet people you like.

Moved frequently as a trailing spouse. I would sat 2 to 4.months in were always thenlow point. Novelty worn off, missing friends etc. It gradually picks up but you do need to throw alotnof energy and effort into building the life you want.
I had new life fatigue at one place and just could be arsed to put myself out there. It was the most miserable place we ever lived.

Relocating is very hard. You do have to dig deep and put alot of effort into getting established. Such mixing with people and social situations you wouldn't probably opt for back in the UK. It eventually pays off.

3 months is a bit early to be content imo. Give it at least a year.

Have a little resilience and give it some more time - it will of course take time for you all to settle in.
If you feel the same after a year, think again.

It takes two years to settle anywhere .You have moved during the winter months When the sun comes out so will all the people .Life will brighten up .I cannot stress how important learning the language is .Without knowing the local language you will always be isolated .

I’d give it a year before you pull the plug.

It’s winter. Unless you’re in they Seychelles, everything is depressing when it’s cold and you’re bundled up with a toddler.

It’s not quite comparable but when we moved to our current home (same town but different part of it) 3 years ago I felt horrific for the first six months. I posted on here about it in the moving home thread and everyone said see how you feel when you’ve lived there a year, and if you still hate it talk to DH about moving again. By the time a year came round I was settled.

I think it’s the same with a large move - until you’ve given it a full year you haven’t really experienced the place entirely so you can’t make a fair judgement on it.

in the meantime:

Do you like the property you’re in? Can you do anything re: buying some nice plants, art, rugs etc to make it feel comfortable and comforting?

Do you have any language barrier in the new location ? Can you meet up with ex pats? Can you join a group to connect with other locally?

You say you have a toddler - tbh toddlers are constantly dysregulated, there’s a reason the phrases terrible twos and threenager exist, please don’t worry about them. It’s a hard stage of parenting in general when your partner is working a lot. Is there any nursery care available that would give you time and space to explore this new place alone?

Thing is if OP goes back to the UK will it really be much better? She have to find somewhere to live, a way to support herself and solo parent 2 small kids.

And if the DH stays there she going to be alone much if the time abyway

Not all sunshine and rainbows