7 year old child left alone whilst dad goes to the shop

I started leaving my eldest at about 8 (probably close to 9) while I went to the corner shop but I was probably 10 minutes max. Gradually upped the amount of time until she could be left for an hour or so age 10/11.

So age 7 isn't that far off that I suppose but it's still a bit too young imo.

I grew up in a village in the 1980's. Our back door was always unlocked when the family was at home and we were free to come and go to play in the garden, go to play with the neighbours, go to the park, village shop, etc.

This will panic some people on here, but I once escaped the house as a toddler and headed to the village shop on my trike to get some sweets (I didn't have any money or understand how shops worked). I was, apparently, returned to my mother by somebody in the village.

7 seems fine to sit and watch a bit of telly for half an hour. My older brother would have been 7 when he used to be trusted with the backdoor key and we used to walk home from school together and wait for our parents to come back from work.

I guess it depends upon the 7 year old, though. If he's the kind of child that's going to play with the fuse box or gas boiler, then it's probably not a good idea.

I thought this was going to be an argument for why chidlren shouldn’t be left alone.

A 66 year old may have the ability to remain calm, unlock the door, and approach a neighbour for help. Or call for help (although they wouldn’t be able to speak, I’m guessing)

A child is likely to panic and suffocate themselves.

My Mum recently choked on some popcorn when my Dad was out. It somehow dislodged itself and she thinks it is now in her lung and may need surgery to remove it. She is 66. Should we insist that 66 year olds cannot stay home alone in case they choke?

Not if parents don't let them through fear of the bogeyman. I used to teach Y6. Some of those kids were increadibly fragile and risk-averse. The ones with the overbearing parents mainly. Like the Pink Floyd song "Mother".

I am shocked a 7yr can’t unlock a door tbh

and if he follows you about /doesn’t like being alone - how did ex manage to leave him home alone not being upset

and why didn’t he take him - is he a lazy dad @Pinkie89

is big sister a different dad and why she doesn’t go to ex

tho if she is older You must have 2 ex’s / her dad and sons dad

But not 5? Odd.

I think we can calm down about then not having enough independence - they haven't missed the boat entirely before year 3, still plenty of life left to learn.

If you mean leaving them alone, 6 or 7 was reasonable for mine.

There's lots of talk on here about fires and intruders etc. etc. (not sure where those posters live, it sounds dodgy) but there is also a risk attached to not letting kids have independence. A risk to their self-confidence and development.

7 feels young to me personally. Mine weren’t left alone until more like 9 and that was for 10 mins max to go to the corner shop.

I didn’t go to primary school in the UK but remember getting the bus in on my own from about the age of five. The bus stop was a 10 minute walk from the house and my mum would wave me off at the doorstep.

From the age of nine, I’d pick up my younger sister from her classroom, go home, walk and feed the dog and start dinner as mum worked until 6pm and dad was military so was often away.

When we came back to England, it was quite a surprise to find that level of independence was frowned upon by most parents!

Being 6 and being 7 can be days or hours apart. It's idiotic to place such gravity on the number.

Your teeth cleaning excuse is also badly thought out. If you can teach a child to use a key and act in n emergency then they're perfectly capable of learning to brush their teeth adequate every time, boring or not. You're just making silly claims for things you wanted to back up and making excuses for those you don't.

Where I am from, that is the age children start to be home alone so to me it sounds like a good way to practise being home alone.

For all the parents who say their child knows what to do in a crisis, how many of them have acted calmly in an actual crisis whilst on their own?

It’s all very well saying they know what to do, but would they if they had to do something.

If say an intruder was in their garden would a 6 year old know what to do and stay calm?

If you have dogs do you leave them in the same room as a 6 year old when you are out of the house?

When police came to my son’s Primary school to talk about road safety they gave out leaflets that explained under 8s don’t have the same spatial awareness as older children/adults and therefore can’t judge the speed of a car in the same way as someone older, so much riskier for them to be crossing roads on their own

But when did you start? You said these things can be built up? So when is appropriate?

I wouldn’t leave a 7 year old alone but you should teach him what to do in an emergency, you never know what might happen.

My 7 year old can’t even reach the door latch so no he’s not ready to be left, he couldn’t get himself out safely. That’s not neurotic.

Children are not made resilient by being forced into situations they aren’t developmentally ready for.

Hmm no landline ? No neighbours ?Surely a 7 year old knows how sumonds help in an emergency. I left mine for the first time to collect my sister from the train ( 5 mins drive) when they were 9 & 7, they knew how to use the phone and the neighbours were home.

All depends on the child really. Mine could open the door with a key at 3 - I know because the little bugger locked me out & took a lot of persuading to let me back in!

Do you take him anywhere in the car? That's a lot more risky than leaving him at home.

Well, we're talking about 7 aren't we. Sitting on the sofa watching TV for 30 minutes. I would be concerned if my child couldn't cope with that to be honest.

It's a cultural norm where I live, and it makes kids confident, resilient and capable. In fact emphasising independence, competence and self-sufficiency in kids was part of my 3 year training as a childcare worker and informs my current attitude. 100% safety is literally impossible to achieve anyway. Most home accidents happen to children when an adult is present.

In Germany there are less fatal home injury accidents among children aged 0-14 than in the UK, despite the fact that 7 years olds are legally allowed to be home alone for up to 2 hours, and many are. Make of that what you will.

You’re telling me to get a grip whilst simultaneously acknowledging that every child is different?? OP has asked about HER 7 year old who turned 7 last month, is worried about even going downstairs alone and who isn’t aware or alert to dangers and wouldn’t respond well to them.

Anyone advising her that it’s appropriate to leave THAT SPECIFIC 7 year old alone for half an hour are the ones who need to get a grip, kindly of course 🙄

I don't like it when my DH leaves our 7 year old with one of her older brothers either (10 and 12) but the kids all have different activities and I work very long hours in London. We don't leave her alone, but then again this evening there was a misunderstanding with 12 year old that resulted in her being briefly alone. Not the end of the world either.

Leaving a 7 year old sensible child sitting in the sofa for 30 minutes is not forcing children to grow up too quickly. Kindly get a grip. Children are different. Mine were calm and sensible. My friends children on the other hand, I wouldn’t leave alone at 12 either as goodness knows that they could do in 30 mins…