7 year old child left alone whilst dad goes to the shop

Is there a reason he can't go to the shops when your son is with you? Or take son with him?

You need to have a calm conversation with your ex about this and reach an agreement. You are both parents and you need to be on the same page for decisions like this but that may involve compromising both ways. But if your son cannot open the door with the key then he definitely isn't capable of being home alone and you need to stress that when you discuss with your ex. And work on your son being able to use the key because even if your ex promises not to leave him again who knows if he will, so much better to mitigate that by ensuring your son is able to safely exit.

This would be a complete non-issue where I am though, 7 year olds routinely stay home alone and even the child protection charity advises up to 1-2 hours home alone is alright at this age so a 7 year old ought to be capable of 30 minutes so long as they've been properly prepared but cultural differences means children in the UK are unlikely to be prepared by this age,

Not in the UK, but DS would be home alone for 30mins from age 6. Kids round here walk themselves to and from school (from age 6), and sometimes also the last year of Kindergarten.

Oh wow, that's cranking it up to a 100 from 0, isn't it? Maybe wouldn't start with that extreme step as a start. A conversation with the ex husband first, maybe? One that is of a peaceful tone, because the point is the kid's well-being, not being aggressive towards the ex.
I personally wouldn't leave him on his own that young, and definitely wait until the kid is at least 10...

Ds is too young

tell your ex that

if he does again you stop the visits as can’t be trusted

you need to make sure DS is safe if isn’t with you

That's not normal, surely

Same here, only I would go by myself to buy bread or various bits of groceries.

Kids need to know that parents have faith in them and don't think that they're a moron. Its crucial for their development.

You would obviously have gone through all the details prior to leaving them. How to get in/out, phone use, neighbours who he could go to etc. etc. And you would build up to it over several months from a couple of minutes.

Don't get me wrong, I was super nervous the first few times but that's no reason to hold ds back.

Has your ex thought about what would happen to his son if your ex got knocked down etc. Your son may or may not be able to use the key and I bet your ex does not leave his phone for your son to be able to contact you.

At 7 though? My 7 year old would be terrified if she was left on her own.

When I was 7, my mum would get around this problem by sending me on my own to the shop10 minutes away to buy her fags

Seven isn’t old enough to respond to fire, intruders, accidents. If he’s not old enough to walk down the street alone, I’d say too young to be left at home and needs supervision. Not appropriate for all the reasons you’ve already said.

I lived in another European country for a while and this was totally normal. My neighbour's kids were always home alone and seemed to just quietly occupy themselves. At 7 they also went to school by themselves on the tram.

I'm a grandparent now, and I think kids these days are watched too closely and not given enough independence.

This is too much though!! I would not leave a 7 year old home alone to go to the shops. I take my grandson away camping and we stick together. Even when I take the dog for his late night wee and my grandson is in bed, the campervan is in sight at all times and I march up and down with the dog near the van. The dad is being really reckless.

I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't take the child with you??

Oh don’t be so ridiculous. He’s 7. That is too young. Like the poster said she’s not sure he could even unlock the door if necessary. Would he know how to get help. Is there a landline to call for help etc? I didn’t leave my son home alone until he was 11 and had a mobile phone to call me in case of an emergency. Why would a 7 year old need to be resilient!!

It’s way too young and you are going to have to advise him that this is unacceptable. Child will have to go with him or he gets a delivery, so much choice available.

This is OTT.

I didn't see your thread but if I had I would have definitely backed you up.
Sometimes words fail me when I read some of the posts on MN.

Not wanting to catastrophise OP but my mind immediately went to the tragic case of the woman who left her 4 children - admittedly younger than your son - home alone while she went shopping and the house went on fire while she was out and none of them survived.

I would be deeply worried for the safety of your son. And you need to impress on his Dad this is not OK. I really dont understand why he doesnt take his son with him.

YANBU

glad these replies are sensible because last year on here I was told I was being unreasonable to be annoyed at my ex had left our 6 year old home alone.

It's fine, unless you are wanting to raise a kid who has no self-reliance

YANBU - it's all fine and dandy until the time it's not. Then it's the poor child who will get hurt or frightened or whatever.

He needs to take the boy with him.

I would report to the police and social services this is outrageous! Why doesn’t he bring him to the shops ?! Lazy git. And what else is going on that you don’t know about!
i wouldn’t be allowing him to go to his dad’s now as he can’t keep him safe.

Every child is different of course but at 7 my cousins and I would walk to the shops without adults to get sweets and then go and play in the park.

No this is not ok.