Eating beef in the house

Have you posted about this before?

As a Hindu myself, I can see both sides here.

I do feel this was a conversation that should have been had before you both moved in together. Ofc nothing can be done about that.

I think it’s fair of him to ask this as most Hindus do not accept having beef in their home, religious or not. It can also be about the way someone has been raised and a core value instilled in them. I don’t agree with the name-calling however!

I think if you value your relationship, a compromise has to be made - he has not asked you to stop eating beef around him completely (which many Hindu people would of their partner) so I think that’s a compromise on his part. Perhaps you could
compromise in return and not eat beef at home?

Throw out the man and keep the plate.

Some people, and I'm not saying you're BF is, use this as a sort of control over others.
Ask me how I know. Honestly I would be reassessing the relationship.

He's being ridiculous. I'm vegan but the plates etc in my house get used for meat. They get washed! He's especially ridiculous as he's atheist, so how does he justify this stance?

I wouldn't tolerate this, he sounds awful.

He's an ass.
Kick him into orbit.
This won't work out.

I had a colleague like him once who lectured me constantly on the evilness of eating meat including once when we were in a restaurant trying to order food...
As a result, I ordered a nice big steak and instead of my usual medium-rare asked for rare so it bled all over the plate and I've never enjoyed a steak as much.

If he was religious I would say YABU, but given that he isn't then it's purely about respecting a tradition for the sake of it with no meaning behind it...
It could be a "habit" which I could kind of understand, but him being so aggressive about it is a red flag to me.

She is though. She’s imposing her view that she doesn’t need to be considerate of his revulsion about beef.

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack

why doesn’t she? Because she exercises her autonomy as an adult to eat what she likes? It’s not like she’s imposing her views on him

Why not just buy a different colour plate and only eat beef off of that.

I would do something similar if my DP had dietary requirements.
You say yourself that he’s fine going to restaurants etc and do using a certain colour plate will be a happy compromise.

How has this not come up before between you. It’s the kind of issue that should be resolved before moving in together.

You’re both in the wrong. You shouldn’t have eaten beef knowing it would upset him so much, he shouldn’t have called you an arsehole.

I think this is it. It's not that he has a religious problem with the beef (as he's not religious) it's that for him, cows are just not food, in the same way that dogs aren't for us, but are elsewhere.

I'd like tosay no one gets to call you an arsehole and stay, but if he's asked nicely multiple times and you've ignored him, maybe he's not wrong?

I think you both sound like you are being arseholes to be honestly. And this really sounds like something you should have ironed out before living together!

If my husband felt that strongly about not eating beef in the house then I wouldn't do it. Not that big a deal. Surely you eat most meals together anyway. I'd just eat beef when out.

Him calling you an arsehole also seems out of order. But unless this whole beef eating issue is new, you are on the wind up.

A Hindu atheist, or an atheist Hindu?

Reminds me of a person stopped in a bad part of Belfast
"Are you a proddy or a Catholic?"
"Neither actually, I'm an atheist"
"Aye but are you a proddy atheist or a Catholic atheist?"

While it does on the face of it seem odd that an atheist would care, if you’re raised as a Hindu perhaps it’s somewhat similar to how we might react to someone eating dog

I was initially about to post that I'm vegetarian but have never had a problem with my husband or children eating or cooking meat in the house.

However, I would draw a huge massive line at rabbit or dog.

I'm not as chilled as I thought.

Personally I would be mindful if household members had a problem with something. But I think the consumption of beef in the house should be the least of your worries right now. The response to it is a bigger issue.

He called you an arsehole because you ate beef? Dump him.

No way would I put up with this especially if I’d already said I’d be continuing to eat beef in my own home before moving in togethe. He had the choice to move with you and is now calling you an a*hole? I’d dump for that alone.

And then the hypocrisy around being ok eating in restaurants with “beef plates” but not at home makes no sense … he’s just being an a*hole himself!

Ltb

Keep it aside as your special beef plate?
my mum is veggie and she would have separate pans for cooking meat in.

Seems quite a small ask if it upsets him so much.

I think you’re both being unreasonable.
While it does on the face of it seem odd that an atheist would care, if you’re raised as a Hindu perhaps it’s somewhat similar to how we might react to someone eating dog.

If the idea of eating from plates he knows have been used for beef turns his stomach, perhaps a compromise might be that you have some distinctive plates and cutlery you can use and he doesn’t?

He sounds awful but you also don't sound like you're cut out to be in an intercultural relationship.

Me too. Why can’t you be a bit more considerate to your partners strong feelings about this, OP?