Page 4 | Eating beef in the house

Frazzled252 · 2026-02-26T19:09:36+00:00

Partner is an atheist but was raised Hindu and is very aggressive about me eating beef. I have told him I will eat beef as it’s his belief not mine. I ate it in the house tonight and he has called me an a**ehole and is demanding I throw away the plate and cutlery I ate it on, yet he goes to many restaurants where they serve beef and eats on those plates. AIBU?

HildegardP · 27/02/2026 01:41

Ifeelsickagain · 26/02/2026 19:19

Me too. Why can’t you be a bit more considerate to your partners strong feelings about this, OP?

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"Considerate" towards someone who has a tantrum & calls her an "arsehole" for transgressing what can only be an atavistic taboo in an atheist?
Give us a break.

BadLad · 27/02/2026 01:35

timeserved · 27/02/2026 01:19

But read her updates, @Frazzled252 banned meat altogether when she was vegetarian and still won't allow pork because she is Jewish.
I think this is push back from partner.

Both unreasonable and not mature or flexible enough to make it work

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You appear to be confusing @Frazzled252 with some other people who have replied to her thread.

timeserved · 27/02/2026 01:19

Cherrytree86 · 26/02/2026 20:15

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack

why doesn’t she? Because she exercises her autonomy as an adult to eat what she likes? It’s not like she’s imposing her views on him

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But read her updates, @Frazzled252 banned meat altogether when she was vegetarian and still won't allow pork because she is Jewish.
I think this is push back from partner.

Both unreasonable and not mature or flexible enough to make it work

Christmasbear1 · 27/02/2026 01:05

Quine0nline · 26/02/2026 19:27

A Hindu atheist, or an atheist Hindu?

Reminds me of a person stopped in a bad part of Belfast
"Are you a proddy or a Catholic?"
"Neither actually, I'm an atheist"
"Aye but are you a proddy atheist or a Catholic atheist?"

There is actually such a thing as Hindu atheist if you did some research

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 01:00

Frazzled252 · 27/02/2026 00:50

Thanks for asking, yes I feel pretty good actually. He started accusing me of “religious hatred” ( for the eating beef) and it’s given me the ick. I’m just very thankful that this has happened now so I’m not wasting any more of my life with him.

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How the hell can it be "religious hatred" if he isnt, by his own admission, religious?!

Monty27 · 27/02/2026 00:59

@Frazzled252 absolutely LTB there's always help around if you need it.
Don't put up with it anymore but please keep safe.

Original poster

Frazzled252 · 27/02/2026 00:50

Monty27 · 27/02/2026 00:36

I think compatibility might be an understatement.
I'd be rather scared of this guy.
@Frazzled252 are you ok?

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Thanks for asking, yes I feel pretty good actually. He started accusing me of “religious hatred” ( for the eating beef) and it’s given me the ick. I’m just very thankful that this has happened now so I’m not wasting any more of my life with him.

OP posts:

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 27/02/2026 00:40

No religious commitments here, but my partner doesn’t eat fish, and I don’t really eat red meat. If I am out he happily enjoys a bloody steak, and I gleefully share fish and chips with the cat when he’s not in. Otherwise we cook and eat meals we can est together.

DreamTheMoors · 27/02/2026 00:36

I would’ve licked my fingers off and pointed and said “there’s the door.”
Whether he could’ve understood you or not with your mouth full is not your problem — is it.
No, ma’am.

Monty27 · 27/02/2026 00:36

Frazzled252 · 26/02/2026 22:38

This gave me food for thought actually (excuse the pun)

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I think compatibility might be an understatement.
I'd be rather scared of this guy.
@Frazzled252 are you ok?

ChiliFiend · 27/02/2026 00:30

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 27/02/2026 00:10

It is a huge ask.
Do you have children together?
Do they eat pork?

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I find it depressing that anyone would think asking your partner and children not to eat pork in the house is "a huge ask" - how much bacon and sausages etc is everyone having for this to be the case? Our overconsumption of meat as a society is really appalling; it's awful for the environment, for animals and (where sausages and bacon and other processed meat are concerned) for our health. Not having it at home but having it at restaurants would have a positive impact on all of us.

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 00:25

Lovethystupidneighbour · 27/02/2026 00:18

You know being called an “arsehole” is not a big deal for many people.. it’s only as hurtful as it’s meant to be.

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And from what the OP posted, it was supposed to be very hurtful because otherwise, why would she be hurt?

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 00:23

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 27/02/2026 00:17

That's why religions get them young so they can brainwash children before they can think for themselves. It's very hard to switch off ingrained behaviors no matter how irrational they are.

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Ironically, my father says exactly this!

Lovethystupidneighbour · 27/02/2026 00:18

arethereanyleftatall · 26/02/2026 19:17

If my partner called me an arsehole, he would no longer be my partner.
I don’t know why so so many women choose being in relationships with men who are horrid to them over being single.

You know being called an “arsehole” is not a big deal for many people.. it’s only as hurtful as it’s meant to be.

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 27/02/2026 00:17

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 00:14

Its funny what hangs on. My father was raised catholic and was physically abused by priests and nuns as a result (not sexually, at least he has never said so) and is now atheist and staunchly anti catholic. But he still got very very bothered by my decision not have my three youngest baptised (had faith when I was younger but lost it by the time I had them).

To him the risk was too high. If god does not exist and heaven doesnt either then it didnt matter if I had them baptised just in case, so what was the problem? It still bothers him to this day.

That's why religions get them young so they can brainwash children before they can think for themselves. It's very hard to switch off ingrained behaviors no matter how irrational they are.

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 00:15

ThatFairy · 26/02/2026 23:56

Eating meat is wrong and and gross

Helpful 🙄

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2026 00:14

Its funny what hangs on. My father was raised catholic and was physically abused by priests and nuns as a result (not sexually, at least he has never said so) and is now atheist and staunchly anti catholic. But he still got very very bothered by my decision not have my three youngest baptised (had faith when I was younger but lost it by the time I had them).

To him the risk was too high. If god does not exist and heaven doesnt either then it didnt matter if I had them baptised just in case, so what was the problem? It still bothers him to this day.

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 27/02/2026 00:10

BedlamEveryday · 26/02/2026 21:30

It’s one thing that he doesn’t want in his house. If you had any respect for your partner, you would do that.

Tbh I’m not surprised he called you an arsehole when you stuck your finger up at something he feels strongly about.

I don’t eat pork. DH does. Of course we go to places where it’s served but my home is my space and my sanctuary. I don’t want pork invading that. DH is respectful of that and will not buy anything with pork for our home.

It’s hardly a huge ask.

It is a huge ask.
Do you have children together?
Do they eat pork?

JHound · 27/02/2026 00:04

Frazzled252 · 26/02/2026 23:53

He is British born and raised, it’s worth mentioning I am also of Asian descent, but eat everything.

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Did you not have a discussion before you moved in together?

CypressGrove · 27/02/2026 00:02

Frazzled252 · 26/02/2026 23:53

He is British born and raised, it’s worth mentioning I am also of Asian descent, but eat everything.

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Oh interesting - sounding like its more about control then!

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 27/02/2026 00:00

Boxthree · 26/02/2026 19:39

I think this is it. It's not that he has a religious problem with the beef (as he's not religious) it's that for him, cows are just not food, in the same way that dogs aren't for us, but are elsewhere.

I'd like tosay no one gets to call you an arsehole and stay, but if he's asked nicely multiple times and you've ignored him, maybe he's not wrong?

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They need to go their separate ways.

This is a deal breaker for him and it also means he won't tolerate any children they could have together eating beef at all...

I wouldn't put up with this need to control what your partner can or cannot eat.
It doesn't bode well.

When you hit the dating trail again, make sure you pick a steak restaurant as your first date location so you can weed out all the non-meat eaters.

ThatFairy · 26/02/2026 23:56

Eating meat is wrong and and gross

Ponderingwindow · 26/02/2026 23:55

It’s a philosophical issue not a medical issue. If he feels strongly about it he should buy a second set of dishes and cookware for himself.

You should be able to eat your food in your own home as long as you do not create a health risk for other residents

Original poster

Frazzled252 · 26/02/2026 23:53

CypressGrove · 26/02/2026 23:41

That doesn't follow. I'm an atheist and I don't eat whale, rabbit, horse or some other of meats that were not eaten where I grew up but are commonly eaten elsewhere. It's illegal to eat cow in some Indian states so if je grew up in one of those areas its perfectly reasonable he doesn't consider cows to be meat.

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He is British born and raised, it’s worth mentioning I am also of Asian descent, but eat everything.

OP posts:

hollyandribbon · 26/02/2026 23:49

I’m coeliac, and I eat off the same plates that other people in my family have eaten gluten containing food from. That would make me ill. But the plates/cutlery are clean. Perspective.

There is no contamination from the beef on clean plates and cutlery. But he also clearly doesn’t like you eating beef. You need to talk.