To ask your choice of school?

option 1 because if she is unhappy she is more likely to be able to get a place at the comprehensive later on. It would be hard to transfer to the grammar school if the comp isn’t great.

I don’t love single sex education but between those options, that’s what I would choose

If your daughter can pass the entrance exam you would be doing her a huge disservice if you didn't send her to the grammar school.

Don't leave it to your daughter to decide. This is a decision that you have to make.

I went to a grammar school, so did my sister, my daughter and my two niece's. I have never heard anyone with a grammar school education say they wish they had gone to a comprehensive school instead.

I do know people who were offered grammar school places, but went to comprehensive schools to be "with their friends" who wish their parents had made the decision to go to grammar school for them.

The only person I know who transferred to a comprehensive school because she was unhappy, did so because she struggled academically and couldn't keep up with her grammar school peers. She had been tutored for the entrance exam and only scraped a pass.

Our choice was complicated by the fact that dh taught at the comprehensive. It was ok when dc first went there, but went downhill later. I regret my decision. The dc did well anyway, as they are very bright and have 2 teacher parents, but they would have had a better experience and better teaching.

Having had almost exactly that choice and having chosen option 2 (and being a teacher), I'd say 1000% go for option 1.

As others have said, grammars suit some but not all. My DD would have felt stressed and unhappy in a competitive environment. We chose the ‘good’ local comp where she worked hard and was in tops sets and felt confident in her abilities. She got a fantastic set of results.. in fact pretty much exactly the same as her ‘smarter’ (allegedly) friend who went to the grammar.

We chose our local comprehensive for our children.

I have no reason to regret the decision

We chose the Grammar School when we were in that situation and it was right for our DD. In fact she chose it. Friendships don’t always last the transition to secondary school anyway. They grow up so much. In fact we made a similar choice for DS too. And I was one of only three girls from Primary School to go to my Grammar School and I don’t think we ever spoke to each other again.

Presuming you wouldn't be asking this unless DD was actually intellectually able to get to the grammar, how do children of her intelligence actually perform at the local comp? Are there many of them, or do they all go to the grammar? What do they do in terms of stretch and challenge activities? I know a few children in my son's year group, now year 8, who passed the grammar test but failed to get a place on numbers (our nearest grammar is quite far away) and they are happily in top sets, where their are other children on their level, and they are also in a stretch and challenge program. These children are obviously having a very different experience if they were consistently working on work that was to easy for them with other children who found this work too hard.

Well, we did chose our not-outstanding local mixed comp over the outstanding girls school for our DD, and she’s thriving. Very happy there, with a nice group of friends, and predicted grades 7-9 for GCSE.

Having said that, we knew the mixed school prioritised student happiness and well-being over academic achievement - that’s why we chose it. We knew our clever and sensitive autistic DD would only thrive if she was happy.

If your DD hasn't passed her 11+ yet keep it totally open. There's absolutely no point in either of you getting your heart set on grammar if she can't go.

In a similar-ish situation we are planning option 1 as first choice. I have some reservations. Option 1 is slightly nearer (3.5 miles) and we hope to give lifts for about 40% of journeys to reduce the travel time (if she gets a place).

Option 2
I would not choose all girls.

If she doesn't pass the 11plus option will be the only option by looks of it

What does your DD want to do? Does she like school/ academically interested?

Forget the friends for now. DD will make new ones where ever she goes, and look at what kind of school is best for your DD. I will just say that grammar isn't for everyone - I think people see grammar over comprehensive and think loads better. In many cases it will be, but some children it just doesn't suit. I live in a grammar area and know loads of kids who have left excellent grammar schools because they made the children deeply unhappy.

Definitely 1
She willake a new set of friends even if she goes to the catchment school, so that shouldn't be a deciding factor for it.

My younger daughter who went to the catchment comprehensive with the rest of her primary school cohort has probably experienced more friendship issues than my older daughter who went up to grammar with hardly anyone she knew. Both neurodivergent, neither is typically confident or outgoing socially. The key difference at the grammar is the overall type of social background, philosophy and focus of the students and for that reason I would choose it every time. No personal bias here either - I went to the catchment comp myself!

If DD passed the 11+ without being hothoused, then the grammar school. If she's needed to be heavily tutored to scrape through, then the comprehensive.

This assumes that the great reputation includes a great reputation for pastoral care and isn't a breeding ground for mental health problems as schools with great academic reputations occasionally are.

Option 1of course.

@Blooperpenguin Oh yes grammar school all day long. Good luck.

Grammar, I wish we had them where we luve

Grammar without even pausing for breath.

The Grammar option. Absolutely.

By October half term it’s likely that she’ll have made some new friends, and all the perceived benefits of being with an existing friendship group will have evened out. And then she’ll have 2 groups in her life!- new school and OG friends. This was pretty much the scenario for both my DD’s; one is very introverted, one is quite sociable, but it actually worked out much as I’ve described for them both.

We had a similar choice with our daughter although in our case the grammar school was a half an hour car/bus journey.

Our daughter opted for the grammar. She didn't know anyone there, and it took her the first half-term to properly settle. To be honest for the first couple of weeks I thought we might have made a mistake.

However, she did settle and she never looked back. Academically, she did very well and when she went to university she shared a flat with a couple of her school friends. After university, she moved to London, and she also shared a flat with several school friends. She is 29 now and her school friends are still enormously important to her. They meet up regularly, and she's currently going to a lot of their weddings.

I would absolutely go for the grammar option. In our case, we didn't regret it. Good luck.

Option 1 if your child has got a place and happy to go there.

How confident is your DD to go to a school which involves significant travel

This made me laugh because I think the poster is actually being serious.

Five miles is a stone's throw and there is a bus going there every morning.

My kid's primary school was five miles away and I drove them there every morning.