MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

It's isn't just a few hours. The comprehension of some of the posters on this thread isn't the best.

The event is 12-4 with 45 mins travel each way. So...pretty much a lot of the day.

No it's isn't. It's a four hour event requiring nearly 2 hours of travel time. Approx 11am to 5pm

People still aren't reading all the OPs posts. Still people saying it's a few hours or go for lunch/brunch. Starts at 12 ends at 4. 45 mins travel each way. That is most of the day and sees OPs husband out of the house from 11am to 5pm.

unless she’s planning to hold a seance in order to spend the day with her own mum I don’t think she will be seeing her on Mother’s Day.

I think it is bizarre behaviour. When you marry, you become part of that family and I wouldn’t dream of doing that to my children – their partner/husband/wife are part of my family too and I would want to see them as well and celebrate all together. It is exclusion and it is hurtful and it is passive aggressive, in my view. Where is the sensitivity here? And if there are children in the marriage, it would be even worse to exclude the partner/husband/wife. What kind of message would that send to the child?

Could some have assumed that they would want to see their Mums and take their children with them for that?

Not the OP, I see, but some.

She wants to spend time with her kids on mother's day 🤷
What's mad about that?
Just because she is excluding all partners ! She wants it to be her day only!

Its not the whole day though.
It'll just be a few hours in the afternoon.

want doesn’t get!

It is unusual, but I think it is really hard for parents with adult children to get spend time with them 'on their own' without spouses and children in tow.

My MIL is widowed. When she comes to stay, we always make sure my DH spends time with her without me. It's just easier that they go out as a two, rather than we go out as a three.

A meal is planned for this year with her and her three children. No spouses or grandchildren invited. Seems perfectly reasonable to me

Bonkers. When is Mother’s Day? I have 2 children. I couldn’t give a fcuk. As usual they will ignore it

It would be interesting to know how the other in laws are reacting to this behaviour from their MIL.

It’s unreasonable for her to monopolise your husband regardless if he is her son, particularly when you’re without your own mother.
I do hope he sees sense and spends his time with who he feels most important is in his life now, which is supporting you on Mothering Sunday.

Wouldn't bother me if it was my MIL but I'm not bothered by mother's day.

Well, all Mothers’ Days are split between generations if daughters have still-living mothers and children of their own. If she’s bagged teatime, that gives you lunch or brunch? I couldn’t get excited about spouses not being invited. Would you really want to do two things?

Dynamics change when you are adults with children if your own. You become a couple and should be treated as such. Particularly as the OPs mother has died

Lucky escape!

Imagine, so rude, expecting a mother to look after her own kids for a couple of hours on Mother's Day so that another mother can have tea with her kids. Simply outrageous narcissistic behavior. Naturally OP will abandon all claim to any part of her own children's time once they reach 18, as is only right.

So she would like to spend a couple hours in the afternoon on Mother's Day having tea with her children, and your nose is out of joint because she wants to spend some time just with her kids?

She's selfish. But we never did meals out on mother's day just visited my mum and mil in the morning and then spent the rest of the day together.
Probably because none of us think we are any more important than anyone else.

The fact that her kids partners may also be mothers and the husbands are leaving them. Ordinarily you would both visit each others parents together on Mother’s Day.

Wow that’s brave 😂
Imagine expecting the mother of your grandchildren to look after 3 young kids while your grown adult children fawn over you.. especially knowing your dils mother is dead.
Maybe a call to ask to see her son woukd be nice but imagine booking your own Mother’s Day meal without even checking with anyone. Crazy behaviour

I thought YABU when I misread as her birthday then I realised Mother’s Day—oh my. YANBU

Does seem a bit odd but frankly, let them go and have an afternoon pampering yourself. In fact, tell them to make an evening of it as well and settle down with a few glasses of wine and some indulgent telly.

I would let my dh go. Then I would do something with our children that are still living at home. It's not like your mil wanted him there the whole day.
On mother's day I seldom see my mom for more than a couple hours on the day. My adult children stop around for a visit, but again not for the whole day, just a couple hours.

Does anyone, ever, ask these nutjobs why they behave like that? I mean genuine curiosity… I would love to hear her explanation of why she didn’t even think to consider all the mums with their dc and families…

Which is why the whole family should be there. It's batshit because she doesn't want the other mothers in her family, or their kids, present to celebrate.