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Original poster

MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

556 replies

ImaMothertoo · 26/02/2026 18:40

MIL has planned a Mother’s Day afternoon tea party for herself.

She called dh to invite him today and made it clear the invite is ONLY for him ! He’s one of 5. She only wants her dc there ! Told him she’s arranged it early so that nobody else makes plans and we (the partners) all have notice 😂😂 she’s mad !

He told her that he already has plans and he will pop round the day before with her gifts !

AIBU to think she’s really rude to do this !

OP posts:
TanquerayTickles · 26/02/2026 19:32

I said child wrangling, and yes, of course, people enjoy their kids' company (especially now that mine are grown up), but three young children is hard work, whatever way you slice it.

Child wrangling is a saying, sorry you haven't heard it before.

hollyandribbon · 26/02/2026 19:31

domenica1 · 26/02/2026 19:09

I wouldn’t mind at all if my husband went to my MIL’s for a few hours for Mother’s Day. I just don’t get women who have to be the centre of attention all day. If my MIL was having a get together and wanted a little fuss made of her, it wouldn’t bother me. Maybe you could celebrate at another point in the day?

You don’t get women who want to be the centre of attention all day… exactly what the OP’s mil is wanting? But then stick up for the OP’s mil 🤣

Klug · 26/02/2026 19:30

Babyijustdontgetit · 26/02/2026 19:28

The problem is that the partners excluded are also parents!

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So they can spend time with their kids. Perfect, no? What’s with the ‘child wrangling’ comment? Don’t you enjoy your kids company?

Babyijustdontgetit · 26/02/2026 19:28

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 26/02/2026 18:47

Yes, what's the problem with that?

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The problem is that the partners excluded are also parents!

diddl · 26/02/2026 19:26

Well her son has declined to that's the end of it & was a risk she took that some won't go.

But for me if it was only a couple of hours or so it wouldn't bother me.

I wouldn't be interested in seeing my MIL on MD & as long as my kids were with me-all good!

Thunderpunt · 26/02/2026 19:25

Nothing to add, but @TanquerayTickles I have never heard Twatspangle and intend to use it as soon as I can - what a fantastic word Grin

Klug · 26/02/2026 19:24

DotAndCarryOne2 · 26/02/2026 19:11

Because it doesn’t allow for anyone else to be celebrated as a mother on that day. Just MiL.

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Was MIL taking up the whole day? She can spend time with her kids. Is that not what OP wants?

DappledThings · 26/02/2026 19:23

It's unusual but I don't think it's particularly rude. You can have MD with your own DC. Or DH can take them and you can have a nice day to do what you like. I'd find it funny rather than offensive.

TanquerayTickles · 26/02/2026 19:22

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2026 19:20

She his mum. She wants to see her kids on md

you can spend all day with your kids - so surely she can spend a few hours with hers ?

Yes, with MIL being spoilt and fawned over by her kids, while OP is at home wrangling 3 kids on her own, on Mother's Day. It is her Husband's job to look after the Mother of his children too.

As someone who has also lost their Mum, Mother's Day is a kick in the twatspangle as it is, without being left alone.

labamba18 · 26/02/2026 19:22

I would have no problem at all with DS seeing me the day before Mother’s Day, especially if he had a wife and young children. Your MIL is bonkers OP!

havingoneofthosedays · 26/02/2026 19:21

You will be seeing your kids, no?
why does husband have to be around all day for that

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2026 19:20

She his mum. She wants to see her kids on md

you can spend all day with your kids - so surely she can spend a few hours with hers ?

JTRSOP · 26/02/2026 19:19

ImaMothertoo · 26/02/2026 18:49

I just feel if she was going to arrange something surely invite everybody?!

But she’s not YOUR mum.

I don’t see the issue here OP, and I’m someone who hates their MIL.

Original poster
ImaMothertoo · 26/02/2026 19:16

Endofyear · 26/02/2026 19:12

Maybe she's assuming that you'll be seeing your own mother?

My DM passed away a few years ago

OP posts:
Zhu · 26/02/2026 19:15

A meal or tea with just her children, not on Mother’s Day itself sounds lovely. It’s co-opting the day, when you have kids, that’s the problem.

Endofyear · 26/02/2026 19:12

Maybe she's assuming that you'll be seeing your own mother?

NoSoupForU · 26/02/2026 19:11

So? Your kids can spend mother's day with you regardless of whether your husband sees his actual mother on mother's day can't they?

I don't see why it's an issue to do something as just them either.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 26/02/2026 19:11

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 26/02/2026 18:47

Yes, what's the problem with that?

Show quote history

Because it doesn’t allow for anyone else to be celebrated as a mother on that day. Just MiL.

canklesmctacotits · 26/02/2026 19:10

What do you think was going through her mind?!

Coconutter24 · 26/02/2026 19:10

He could spend a couple of hours with his mum and your children could spend a couple hours with their mum. I don’t see the problem tbh.

domenica1 · 26/02/2026 19:09

I wouldn’t mind at all if my husband went to my MIL’s for a few hours for Mother’s Day. I just don’t get women who have to be the centre of attention all day. If my MIL was having a get together and wanted a little fuss made of her, it wouldn’t bother me. Maybe you could celebrate at another point in the day?

Original poster
ImaMothertoo · 26/02/2026 19:07

TidyDancer · 26/02/2026 19:04

Yeah I think this hinges on how old your DC are, but I don’t really see anything wrong with her wanting to spend time with her own DC without their partners present.

6,9 and 11

OP posts:
DotAndCarryOne2 · 26/02/2026 19:05

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 26/02/2026 18:44

She wants to spend time with her kids on mother's day 🤷
What's mad about that?

Because her kids have their own kids and it’s their mothers’ day too.

NewGoldFox · 26/02/2026 19:04

It’s just one day, I would let her crack on to be honest. Why shouldn’t she have a special tea with her children if that’s what she wants.

TidyDancer · 26/02/2026 19:04

Yeah I think this hinges on how old your DC are, but I don’t really see anything wrong with her wanting to spend time with her own DC without their partners present.

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