MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

Presumably you think MIL is nuts then for wanting all 5 of her children to leave their families for a tea party dedicated to her as a mother (at the exclusion of all others)? She should be happy with a card.

If it makes you feel good to be shitty to people on the internet then I hope this interaction has helped.

My DH isn’t perfect, and it’s an open forum so I didn’t butt into anything if you want a private audience with the Op, go send her a DM.

I’d say don’t bother responding to me, but you strike me as the type that desperately needs the last word. But I’m done with this so I won’t be responding again.

People on mumsnet seem to think if it’s not a big deal to them then it’s almost alien that anyone else would care! For some of us Mother’s Day is lovely and in some cases extra special for those who have lost their mum or struggled to become a mum.

My children always want to make it special. For that they sometimes need dad’s help/credit card and ability to carry up my breakfast tray.

Go to the park.

Maybe she’s just a mum who wants to do something on Mother’s Day? Has anyone done things for her recently? I wonder if she’s feeling a bit unloved and left out?

yes it’s probably strange not inviting partners and kids but that sounds like a lot of people and not what she wanted. She’s a mum too. Is it all day? Could it be a couple of hours with you and a couple of hours with her?

I have spent the last 5 years having MIL visiting over Mothers Day.

It falls around the time of DH's birthday, and she has always managed to book out visiting the week that includes Mothers Day. Which has ended up being a day of doing what she wants. And me, wrangling the kids. Even when Mothers Day is a good time after DH's birthday, she has managed to book that week.

My DM lives the same distance away, but still works. And we get told in early Jan, that MIL has booked up to visit, at which point. I can't then visit my DM.

We've 2 small children.

This year, on Mothers Day, I shall be running a half marathon. For me. Something I want to do. I shall relish every moment, wave to my DC and enjoy not having to be in charge.

I booked it in October last year.

YANBU, OP. I love my children, but I would much rather have my DH present and engaged, rather than it being me, solo wrangling, like any other afternoon.

I’m off now 👋

have a lovely Mother’s Day OP - yes she is rude!

love to know who is doing the washing up 😂😂

Totally with you on this, I’d much, much rather have the handmade cards from my kids than one bought from a shop anyway. Their faces when they give them to me, the secrecy of not being allowed to look in their school bags the day they bring them home. DH will help them choose flowers and we’ll have a chilled day.

This year in fact I’ll be spending my MD morning sitting in my car whilst they do gymnastics then we’ll see my mum and DH’s mum in the afternoon.

She was probably stunned to be disagreed with

sounds like her son has the measure of her

If MIL has five children, each with a partner and kids, I don't see an inclusive mother's day afternoon tea to ever be in her future!

I can imagine that she'd love quality time just with her kids. But she should probably have chosen the Saturday.

the mil is making me think of Bridget’s mum In the first movie - wanting attention

Maybe you and DH could take her out for breakfast so that he still sees her but you and the kids are included?

In our household we take MIL out for breakfast, see my mum for lunch and then we have a nice tea for me at home. We’re lucky to all live close together though.

We need unhinged adding to the bingo list.

I won't disagree that time and living changes outlook.

But I am pretty certain I don't want to be like this.

For my own personal reasons, I just want a constructive and healthy relationship with my kids as adults. I certainly wouldn't be making these types of plans without checking, about anything, and then excluding partners. For me, that feels so presumptive and entitled.

It's just not how you go about keeping decent relationships.

You were talking about your own set up and fantastic partner so very much about you - I was talking direct to op and you decided to butt in with a defensiveness about your fantastic partner (so better than others who are lazy I believe you said) spa day stuff 😂

comprehended fine 👍

The fact that the DH was able to say ‘no sorry i’ve got plans’ and there doesn’t seem to have been any backlash from the mil kicking off I’d say it wasn’t really the mil telling her son what he was doing.

Well that seals it then, yes, very rude.

I'm not. That's all MD means to me. It's nice. Sometimes there's two cards from each of them if they've done one at Cubs/Brownies as well. Job, as I said, done!

Why would you want to - it’s a bit weird - I can’t imagine my stepmum saying to her son don’t bring your wife - very weird

@saraclara my issue is more the telling rather than asking, and the not wanting to see anyone other than your DC, without at least checking what your DC are doing

You’re reading comprehension clearly needs some work, you realise there are more replies on this thread than just the op posts right? Did it cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, my response was about those replies?

Oh don’t be ridiculous

They all make cards at school. They don't need any extra help getting those out of their bags and handing them over. Job done.

But isn’t she allowed to see her children without their partners?

It’s fine to want an afternoon with your children. However if it were me and my kids had DC and partners of their own I’d definitely plan my event on another day besides Mother’s Day!