I’m looking for some outside perspective on my fresh 3YO . She’s an amazing little human, but she’s quite unique, and I sometimes wonder if she’s simply a highly sensitive child or if I’m overlooking something.
She is extremely verbal. She’s been doing complex imaginative play with storylines and characters since about 2.5. She asks constant “why” questions (e.g., why a dinosaur can’t fit on a bridge), and she’s very emotionally aware. She’ll ask me, “Mummy, are you happy or angry?” or “Is everything okay?” She notices tiny changes in tone, mood, or environment.
Socially, she does very well. In playgroups she shares her toys, waits her turn, participates in table activities, and eats at the table with other kids. She’s never hit, punched, or thrown toys. She lets other kids go down the slide first. If we go to a shop and I say “no toy today,” she just says “okay.” If she does get a toy, she waits in line, goes to the counter, pays with her own money, and says please and thank you (she’s been doing that since 2.5).
She follows two-step instructions and has for a while. If she can’t do something, she doesn’t cry—she says, “Mummy, I can’t do it,” or “Can you please help me?” She never really has tantrums.
Sleep has always been great. She’s slept through the night since 14 months. She goes to bed at 6pm, wakes around 5am, naps about 1 hour 45 minutes, and when it’s bedtime she just has a kiss and goes to sleep in silence. No drama.
She eats a pretty varied diet. It can be a bit hit and miss day-to-day, but overall she eats well.
Now the part that makes me wonder:
She gets extremely overstimulated in certain environments. For example, in a coffee shop she can get panicky and even shake (no meltdown, no tears), and say, “I want to go home.” Once we leave, she calms down quickly. So we rarely go and also when there’s people around she changes completely .
She’s scared of climbing and big slides. If a play area is too big or chaotic, she gets panicky and prefers something calmer. She doesn’t like going into the bath anymore (used to love it), but she has no issue with tooth brushing or me detangling her very long thick hair every night.
At home, she likes me to be in the room while she plays. If I go into the kitchen, she’ll come check for me. But if I go out to grab food and she stays with her dad, she’s perfectly fine.
She has never really had meltdowns. She communicates distress instead of exploding. She’s empathetic, very observant, cautious in new environments, and extremely attached but not distressed if she’s with another trusted adult.
She is showing signs of being a perfectionist and gets upset if like a toy doesn’t fit properly etc , highly verbal and talker , rarely plays independently…all of these I am being told are signs of adhd in girls .. we don’t have a family history but that doesn’t count as anyone can have it