to not want to do it in the middle of the day

God I’d love the opportunity for an afternoon quickie, what a lovely thing to do! I want to spend as much time being intimate with my DP as possible - these things don’t last forever and one day I don’t want to look back and regret not seizing the moments we have.

YNBU and each to their own but often dh and I do this in the middle of the day as otherwise it’s tricky with teens around.

What a misogynistic attitude.

Sounds like a case of birds of a feather, you’ve chosen to surround yourself with other women who also hate their husbands and apparently only keep them around for their income, so you all make yourselves feel validated about it.

What a jaded outlook you have on life and your previous post was a load of nonsense.

If my DH had been wanting food and cleaning from me he would have been out of luck 😜

I also provided the house, didn't want kids and couldn't have cared less about the general lifestyle of being a wife and mum.

This is absolute bullshit.

At the end of the day, both sexes use each other: Men to obtain regular sex, food and cleaning, women for children, marriage, money, a home and that general lifestyle of being a wife and mum.

Youre not BU at all. Most women, even though they won't admit it, aren't bothered about sex and can happily live without it. Alas, they just go along with it and go through the motions in order to have children, keep the man happy, and to keep their second income (i.e. the man) around. Most women don't really fancy their partners/DHs, but they're a necessity for marriage, kids, money and a house for most women.

Afternoon is my favourite time for sex! I get the peri/mid life sex slump though - its pretty common. Personally I try to push past it sometimes and have sex anyway (not necessarily because DH has asked for it just because I know the less you have sex the less you want it!) and I always enjoy it once I get going.

I understand if you are working you are focussed and not in the mood but I also think sometimes it is ok to let things slide a bit and have fun together - especially if sex is impossible at other times due to teenagers being in their rooms nearby. It doesn't have to be every afternoon!

I’d feel very sad if a day time shag never crossed my DP’s mind. But then, I’d also feel very sad if I found sex a chore that was just ‘pandering’ to DP, rather than something that we both enjoyed.

I guess we’re all different. Obviously the OP shouldn’t have sex if she doesn’t want to, but I don’t think her husband’s done anything wrong by suggesting it. It’s not a crime to fancy your wife.

Deleted duplicate post

I really identify with your last post. I am 48 this year and feel exactly the same. I just need everything to be just so before I can get into it. My partner is randy and ready all day every day; it's hard work.

A lot of the time I just say yes and use lube if necessary. Mainly because I do enjoy it once we've got going and I feel better knowing he feels better/happy. I do say no if I really don't fancy it though.

Me and DH love it when I’m wfh and he’s n a day off and kids in school. I’m entitled to an hour lunch break so we make the most of an empty house! By the evening I’m shattered.

YABU to be annoyed at him for wanting to have sex with you.
YANBU to not want to/not have time.

I would ask him to let me know when he’s planning on coming home so that you can fit your lunch break around it.

I think a night in a hotel to reconnect would sound like a better idea than when you are busy and stressing about work.

He didn’t demand anything, don’t twist it fgs

I wouldn’t go into my DH’s office and tell him to make me a cup of coffee, I’ll do it if he’s wfh though! They aren’t the exact same thing.

Everything you have described is me too OP, you are far from alone.

I used to be rampant and now I'm a similar age to you, my body has switched off completely, my brain never had a single sexy thought and whilst I feel bad that my DH hasnt likely changed a bit, I have, and I simply cannot help that.

So like millions of women before me, I just force myself to do it sometimes but it's getting less enjoyable every time and that breaks my heart.

Er, because if you’re WFH you may have more scope for a quickie than if you’re working in the office!!

my h and I had sex this morning when I was WFH.. I was able to catch up work afterwards 🤷🏼‍♀️

I get it OP.

Well, he is, because she's working. He wouldn't walk into her office and demand a quicky so why it it okay when she's working from home?

Him not even thinking about it isn’t the flex you think it is 😂

“Ugh, I hate how complicated it is to have a sex life un midlife. Why can’t it just be fun and easy!”

If you think about when it was fun and easy did you put so many rules and constraints on it? That in itself will be part of the problem!

If my son weren’t on a part time timetable at school and therefore home at lunchtime, I’d love a few ‘lunch of champions’ when WFH to misquote James Hunt. Not when I have deadlines, but generally. Apparently scheduling sexy time, even though it doesn’t sound romantic, can actually work.

Ugh, I hate how complicated it is to have a sex life in midlife. Why can't it just be fun and easy!

To be fair, that's what it sounds like your husband is trying to do - make things fun and easy and take advantage of the moment. You dont want to, and thats fine, but what are you doing to try and inject some fun?

Yanbu for not wanting to but yabu for being annoyed at the suggestion