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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To struggle with the idea of asking family for money?

33 replies

ThisGoldShaker · 26/02/2026 15:48

If you were genuinely short and really needed help, would you ask a family member or would you rather tighten your belt and get through it yourself? I’m torn between pride/independence and practicality. Does asking for help damage dignity or is that just ego talking?

OP posts:
Catza · 26/02/2026 16:01

Depends on a family. I have no absolute confidence that my family would help financially and it wouldn't result in any bad bool. I'd do the same for them. In fact, I offered mum access to my savings account when she had to temporarily go part time due to health issues.
But my preference is to make do with what I have unless I need money for something urgent and can pay it back quickly.

TheMorgenmuffel · 26/02/2026 15:58

If a member of my family needed my help I would give it in a heartbeat.

That said, I can think of circumstances where someone might not want to hep a relative even if they could.

So I guess it depends on the specifics really.

catipuss · 26/02/2026 15:55

If I knew they had plenty of spare money and I was desperate I would ask parents, I don't think I could ever ask siblings or any other relatives. I would hope I would be able to pay it back at some point...

Work9to5 · 26/02/2026 15:54

Depends on the situation I think. I don't think I could deny my siblings if it was serious and they weren't being delinquents.

It would have been serious before I'd ask them, and only if I was completely in a jam.

WallaceinAnderland · 26/02/2026 15:54

I would hate to be asked, it really puts you on the spot.

What if they don't want to but feel obliged.

Moonnstarz · 26/02/2026 15:53

Depends on the amount and whether I could realistically find the money I needed. If it was a case of cutting back for a bit then I wouldn't ask. If I was in a situation of not being able to afford essentials or pay bills then I would ask for help.

Jellybunny56 · 26/02/2026 15:52

Personally I’d get through it myself because I think asking family for money rarely ends well long term and it changes relationships, it muddies the waters and can put everyone in a bit of an awkward position. I’ve seen it go wrong enough times to not want to risk that myself.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/02/2026 15:51

It depends.

If I COULD ‘tighten my belt’ and get through it myself, then I’d always do that. I would only ask if things were worse than that and I couldn’t manage. If you’re borrowing money, then surely you need to be tightening everything you need to anyway?

Would you be expecting a loan or a handout? If a loan, how will you pay it back if you are struggling as you are?