To be discontent in my marriage because DH never takes the children out?

Yet another man who sees parenthood as something he can dip in and out of as he pleases. Men like this are little more than sperm donors. Why did they get married and have kids?

It isn't just taking the dc out, though. You're unhappy because he's failing to do the basics of being a parent. He is choosing not to learn how to care for his own dc in a normal situation, and he's doing that because he believes he shouldn't have to, and you should have to do it all.

It's not incompetent, it's selfish and unloving.

Can relate. It is worth hammering away at this imo because it’s not good enough, and because there is potential for it to get a lot better as the kids get older, but that will happen much more naturally if the hours get put in now.

In general, I’d say it’s better if they do it their way. If they hate soft play, ok. Does he do anything himself? What are his interests? Obviously he should be able to initiate getting children involved with his interests himself, but you are where you are. It’s shite, but the payoff is big enough to be worth it. So say/ask him. ‘How are you going to get the kids joining you at triathlon/gardening/woodwork/amateur dramatics? I love the idea of coming to see you all in action but I’m not sure what the first steps are?’ And give positive feedback to ANY action that happens towards that. It is nauseating, but it’s worth doing a bit of facilitating if they have made a plan that patently won’t work or will be obviously miserable (like not taking any food on a full day out or something) but don’t be too quick to step in.

TL:DR you shouldn’t have to - but you can encourage this.

I feel so sorry for kids with disinterested fathers. Why did they even have kids if they just want to ignore them.

Well, I don't disagree, but I know someone who was married to someone who never took the children out, and created great outcry about having to take them swimming once a week, and when his wife, who did literally everything for the children and the household as well as working in a demanding FT NHS role, finally got sick of it and divorced him, it took him almost eighteen months to have their children overnight in his new home because making them dinner and supervising homework and getting them to bed and up for school in the morning was just too much for him.

Have you asked him too?

They need to be told. Probably had a dad that didn't do it either.

What’s his specific issue.
Does he just not care if they get taken out?
Does he think it’s important that they get out and about but expects you to do it while he stays home?
Does he think it’s important that they get out but wants to do it all together, not on his own?

Well, if he's just not interested, show him the door 👍🚪👋

This would bother me too. It's disinterest and laziness. How can you not be interested in your kids having fun? Giving your partner a break?

It's just bone idle.

YANBU. Absolutely not.

He should take them out, he should find activities and sports they can all do together, he should take them away for weekends, visit his family for example and basically just be a good role model of a man to them.

What reason does he give for not doing so?

Mine rarely does either. So… i just insist he comes with us. 😂

What does he say is the reason when you point this out to him?