Had an awful end to a meal out tonight with my parents and DH, and feeling completely depressed about my marriage. DH stormed out of left pub, leaving me with our baby because he “would not be told off” after myself and DM said it was completely inappropriate and unhygienic that DH took baby with him to the loo as he was holding him. I think to leave was a massive overreaction and very disrespectful to my parents, who help us a lot with the baby.
For context, I had been on a day out with my parents, and DH met us from work for dinner. DC was tired so was grizzly, I asked DH several times to put DC in the pram to sleep (DH was holding baby and near pram, I was trapped in by the table) but DH refused saying DC was fine being held. (Baby is a poor sleeper and very needy at night so I don’t really want to encourage holding when asleep, although I admit I didn’t articulate this well in the context of using the pram). DH also wound me up doing other things with the baby despite me asking him to stop, eg upsetting DC by trying to clear nose when almost asleep, and interrupting conversation to point out DC was settled now in his arms (knowing I wanted DC to be asleep in the pram). I was visibly annoyed by DH being annoying and immature ignoring what I wanted and said it was on DH to look after baby then.
Anyway at end of meal DH, still holding baby, suddenly got up and disappeared (he muttered something but no one heard what DH said), turned out DH had gone to use the bathroom. When DH returned, both DM and I said it was completely inappropriate and not very hygienic, also unnecessary when other people could have held DC. DH said I had told him he would have to do that earlier in the meal, then got so annoyed “I will not be told off”, he gathered up his things and left, leaving me with DC and all our things (and me and DParents with unpaid bill!). The station I needed to use to get home has no lift and c.50 steps so couldn’t do this on my own, although when I called DH to ask wtf he was doing he did offer to wait at the station. DH later tried to justify leaving by saying I did the same at an occasion with his family which a) I didn’t and b) was seven years ago.
DH has form for storming off if we have a disagreement - he seems to really boil over and then take a long time to cool down. He last did this in front of other people a few months ago when out for food with my DSis when I was 6 weeks PP. Admittedly I said something unnecessarily mean on that occasion which I immediately apologised for, but DH still dramatically gathered up his stuff and left, again leaving me out and about at night with then tiny baby (he did not come back as we were a 20 min walk away with no steps).
DH and I have not been getting on particularly well as it is, but I am so embarrassed about the way DH doesn’t seem to care about making other people uncomfortable, and particularly by the storming off which I think is a very immature way to react. I’m also deflated by the way DH will bring up things that happened years ago, as it makes me feel like DH really resents me - but also what is the point of me ever trying to grow / change, if past transgressions will continue to be used by DH as a justification for his current behaviour?
I do not want to LTB because of losing access to DC for 50% of the time :(